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Song Parodies -> "Before She Freaks"

Original Song Title:

"Before He Cheats"

Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"Before She Freaks"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

Thanks to my coworkers, I’ve heard the original one too many times. Sort of a sequel, actually.
Right now, she’s probably braggin’ how she freaked out and trashed my car when I dumped her
Right now, she’s probably showin’ off some pictures of my poor mutilated bumper
Right now, she’s probably thinkin’ she’s some wonderbitch redneck version of Rambo…
And she don’t know…

That my dad’s a judge and so soon she’ll dwell
In a dinky little cooped up prison cell
With a roommate twice her size callin’ her sweetcheeks
I took her pretty little sister to her prom
Banged her best friend, banged her mom
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Right now, she’s probably watchin’ Oprah and suckin’ down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey
Right now, she’s fondling some produce, and it’s a-thinkin’ that it’s gonna get lucky
Right now, she’s probably workin’ on some lame-ass pathetic sex quiz in Cosmo…
And she don’t know…

That I stashed some cold meds in her ‘vette
Along with my old chemistry set
Told the cops bout the meth lab that she keeps
I took a Supersize dump in her favorite shoes
Banged her grandma and grandpa too
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

It might be a little while ‘fore the next guy
Cause by the time that she gets free…
She’ll be like ninety-three…

Oh, ninety-three…

Cause I put her e-mail on the list
For every porn site and televangelist
Signed her up for “Vibe” for a hundred weeks
I made her credit rate vanish without a trace
Didn’t bang Dad but I got third base
Maybe next time she’ll think, before she freaks

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Claude or Red Ant or Spaff or whoever did this ,its HILARIOUS!
JP - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
So awesome. Big 5's.
d'oh - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Ravyn Rant - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Wonderful response to TOS! 555
Dee Range - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
5 bananas for the monkees.....extremely funny
John Babowabowitz - June 04, 2007 - Report this comment
Have you guys heard Misplaced Comedy's "Call The Police"? ...I heard it on the radio this morning...
Syncronos - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
THIS is a sick and twisted mind! The audacity to write such a song...*stics out his hand* Syncronos is my name. DAMN GLAD to meet someone more twsited than me! 555 all the way! - July 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Claude Prez RULES.
Koibito No Yami (Gared) - July 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Haha this is hilarious!! Kudos =D...
Brian McCullar - February 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty funny if you want to hear some humor tomarrow type in carry on my paydirt hun it's a song i wrote myself

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