I'm a bit late to your dinner
Make other cars eat my dust
But I find when I arrive
There's just pretzels and crust

It's not like I'm on the Zone, Bob
For junk food I still have lust
Hear my poor tummy groaning
Pretzels and crust

Well I want something that's fried
And I need protein to survive
Because man truly cannot thrive on just bread alone
Beer's a powerful thing
It'll make you happy, you can trust
But your friends emptied the bowls
Only left pretzels and crust

Well I dreamed of you last night
Topped with cheese and pepperon'
And the stove began to fry
And the dough began to rise

Well I dreamed of you last night, pie
With Chinese dishes unknown
And the stove began to fry
And the dough began to rise

Want something that's fried
We need protein to survive
Because man truly cannot thrive on just bread alone
Beer's a powerful thing
It'll make you happy, you can trust
But your friends emptied the bowls
Only left pretzels and crust

Now every woman and every man
Filled their gut 'fore you began
Fightin' through the smell of grill
And empty soda cans

I must eat my fill for dinner
'Fraid this plate just ain't enough
Though they're offered a la carte
Still just pretzels and crust

Well I want something that's fried
And I need protein to survive
Because man truly cannot thrive on just bread alone
Beer's a dangerous thing
You will fight your buddies, you can trust
Because they left you alone
With only pretzels and crust
Those jerks, they left you alone
With only pretzels and crust