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Song Parodies -> "(I'm Off) Key"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Britney Spears

Parody Song Title:

"(I'm Off) Key"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

I'm off key
When I try to sing Three
Thought this would be a breeze
But my vocal chords seize
And now

I'm off key
I sound just like Britney
Butchering melodies
No one wants to hear (EW!)

Don't be contrite
All the critics harp
That I'm super bright
Cause I'm so sharp

I struck a chord
Could not make that pitch
I'm not keeping score
Good thing I'm rich

Turn - and spin
Make sure I grin
When I'm dancin (yeah)
Show - some skin
While I'm singin'!

Way off key
I'm supposed to sing B
But it sounds like an E
Or something in between

I'm off key
Too many notes for me
It's a cacophony
Turn your radio (off!)

I'm off key
Idol doesn't want me
Simon told me to leave
Even Paula was mean

I'm off key
Still you listen to me
Cause I don't wear undies
And I shave my head (Whoa!)

Beautiful mounds
But I still B flat
At my best I sound
Like screeching cats

When I sing my piece
Not my aria
Of expertise

Cover - your ears
Just as you fear
You can still hear (me)
After - ten beers
Still won't sound good!

I'm off key
Should have got my degree
Now I'm out on the street
Cause I can't keep the beat
And now

I'm off key
See the audience flee
They can't stand to hear me
Everybody's gone (bye)

I'm off key
Wailing like a banshee
Under the Christmas tree
Is a muzzle for me

I'm off tone
Now the speakers are blown
From my guttural moan
Broke the microphone (oh)

I make dogs howl at the moon
Cause I sing so out of tune
Sounds like a frog is in my throat
Hate to leave on a sour note
Lost the vote
Sent home
Poor Jeff
Is tone deaf!

I'm off key
And I'm dodging debris
Getting food thrown at me
Tomatoes and broccoli

I'm off pitch
Wish it was just a glitch
But I sound like a witch
With a stuffy nose (Ah-choo)

I can't sing
Got no talent to bring
I'll just make your ears sting
When I'm out caroling

I'm off key
One, two, fiveā€¦I mean three!
Holy grenade throw thee
At the fierce rabbit (BOOM!)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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TJC - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Auto-tunin' you up some perfect fifth's above 'B'!
Matthias - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody here Jeff!!! Loved it! The original song though is really annoying...
Christie Marie M - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Good one, Jeff! You're no Yoko Ono, though! I also sing a little off-key myself. Hope to see a music video or recording of it someday and I dare you to sing this parody off-key! LOL!!! Hope these 5's go off on a good note!
LilCUPcakes - December 31, 2009 - Report this comment
Lord Jeffry, } CABO ~ WABO { , Sir! . . Hold on to your 'apron', Sir Jeffry !
Peter Andersson - January 01, 2010 - Report this comment
The single word/line hysteria was the only thing that throw me off pace a tad, beyond that all threes, I mean fives! :-)
Jeff Reuben - January 05, 2010 - Report this comment
And the recording is here:
tomario - January 08, 2010 - Report this comment
one of my fav subjects is Britney and you have come up with a cheeky little parody here. well she can count to three but im going up to five because it is well paced and well observed :o)
MysteryGoat - January 09, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Don't take this the wrong way but listening to you sing it just made it that much more funnier. Possibly one of the greatest songs ever!
Mark Scotti - January 13, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM The humor was right ON KEY!!!!
Abbott Skelding - January 17, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Very nice!! Take that Britney!! 555 wrong notes
bobpiecheese - January 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant parody as always, Jeff (although the Holy Grail reference did seem a bit...out of place). $555 for vocal lessons!
Max Power - January 30, 2010 - Report this comment
That explains why my neighbor's dog kept on howling!
DJ Blaze - January 30, 2010 - Report this comment
OS looks uber-tough, and this gets a 555. I love mainstream ranting.
Red Ant - January 31, 2010 - Report this comment
Chock full of great puns as usual, loved the recording. Britney Spears, breaking Autotunes one note at a time. Have you done this at karaoke yet?
Below Average Dave - January 31, 2010 - Report this comment
He's recorded it Jack. . .I've been voting for it on the DT20 since it came out. . .Like all of your Britney parodies, this was extremely fun
Jack Wilson - January 31, 2010 - Report this comment
See above! 5s
Mark Scotti - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) As I noted above, humor was RIGHT ON!
Agrimorfee - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) Surprised that you didn't mention Auto Tune in this, but everything was on the mark for this POS song. I declare a moratorium on Britney parodies after this one, mmkay (j/k)
Arwen - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment times I couldn't figure out if you were making fun of Britney or of yourself...but since I like making fun of Britney and of worked for me. ; )
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
One of my favorites by you as a recording, as a write its great too
Invisible Boy - April 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Classic Jeff. And, a fine Britney bash to boot.
Remember...don't B flat, don't B sharp...B natural...
EmiLoca - April 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey, Invisible Boy, I'm a natural B too!

Er, anyway, I'm awfully glad that you do so many Britney parodies. They're all consistently fun and random. Last line made me literally LOL.

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