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Song Parodies -> "Curses"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Britney Spears

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

You know that two types of lyrics are out there
Ones that are clean and ones
You cannot say on air
Well just because we're all polite in the south
Don't mean I ain't got
A potty mouth

When I play lotteries
And don't win squat
When I touch oven burners
And they're still hot
When I drive on the road

I will shout obscenities if you're in my lane
In front of me and you slam on your brakes
Or steal my parking spot, you will feel my road rage
"You effin a-hole! D-bag! Bastard! You're lame!"

On a road trip, and I'm cut off by a dip
I'm screaming curses
Shite I feel so dumb, hammered nails into my thumb
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there teasing me,
Taunting me, you can bite me, F-U!
When you act like a turd, gonna flip you the bird
And shout some curses

Report was done I was filled with pride
But just before I saved
My computer died
So sorry, it looks like my hard drive's fried
Chucked out the window
And I cried

When on the gym treadmill
I always trip
Bust up my head and elbow
My pants get ripped
Put on a TV show

I watch some basketball and the ref calls a block
"CHARGE REF! Damn you must be blind! What a crock!"
You think I should calm down, but I don't give a flock
"That call was B-S, that ref can suck my cork!"

I'm on a date, I show up three hours late
She's yelling curses
When I try to flirt, spill my beverage down her shirt
She's screaming curses
Hoped to get her in bed, she poured drinks on my head
And yelled some curses:

"Eat me!"
"What the eff you gonna do?"
"You S-O-B!" (She's yelling curses)
"Jerk, go to hell!" (yelling curses)

Stung by a bee, covered with poison ivy
I'm yelling curses
When an angry putz, snaps and kicks me in the nuts
I'm screaming curses
Don't stand there watching and
Laughing, get me some ice for down low
When I'm stupid and drunk, acting like a damn punk
I'm screaming curses

My fridge is bare, because you ate the last pear
I'm yelling curses
Big game is in doubt, that's when the power goes out
I'm screaming curses
Sick of my whining and
Bitching, ass, you know where you can go
If you don't like my puns, and you vote me all ones
I'll give you curses

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   24

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Too fun, Jeff...and really, as sweet and innocent as I try to appear, this could be my secret anthem...; )
Arwen - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't know why...but part of my comment is missing. You had to know I would pay special tribute to the treadmill bit...(and I did!)...but it's not there! =(
Ashkicksass - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This is frigging CLASSIC, Jeff! The whole time I was reading it though, I was like "oh bastard...that's so me." Then I was like "oh, flip the bird, that's so me" then I was like "Oh, spilling on herself, that's so me." But then I got to the pear bit...and I burst into tears. It was like you wrote a tribute to me and Arwen. A couple of bumbling, crotch kicking cursers...
Mark Scotti - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Ah, a tender love story! LOL
TJC - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
Had to YouTube the OS... Great subs and atmosphere... I can still hear Britney Bales shrill counterpoints reverberating in my skull!
Invisible Boy - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
A finr tribute to the English language and those of us who abuse it...f&#%'n Ay...
alvin - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
didn't know the OS but enjoyed it as prose
Christie Marie M - March 02, 2009 - Report this comment
This song is the f**king s**t!!!!! I could imagine Britney Spears singing your kind of parody! BTW, long time no talk, Jeff! Still enjoyed your parodies. Well, then, peace out! 555!!
Matthias - March 28, 2009 - Report this comment
You sure love Britney, b*tch. Still waiting on a "Womanizer" parody from you Jeff seeing that Britney is one of your favorite artists (it seems) to parody. Loved this one though and I can totally relate!
kevin - April 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Lol ing but then most of your parodies are awesome no change here!
Agrimorfee - April 02, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Curses! May be foiled again from the Gold spot...
Mark Scotti - April 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Enjoyed reading this once again for the SOTM!!!
bobpiecheese - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great work here, Jeff! Loved the way you worked out of not using actual curses, or resorting to a ****load of asterisks. Three f***, er fives for you!
Silver Power - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Wow, great parody, 5's. I have to admit, I have quite the potty mouth. ;]
Arwen - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC...still just fabulous, Jeffy....=)
Arwen - April 10, 2009 - Report this comment's been a while since I've been here...(this is what i get for trying to get my SOTM voting done early!)...but I STILL really love this. You KNOW I do. =)
Max Power - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
All the near curses are great Jeff, very funny, and I really enjoyed the examples provided.
Red Ant - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Great idea and execution, Jeff. I utter obscenities (nice sub for "adrenaline") every time I hear a BS song. :grin: 5s Have you paraoked this or recorded it?
Melanie Lee - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) I wasn't digging this one too much at first, but then it got significantly funnier! Curses, spoofed again! 5-5-5!
Peter Andersson - April 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Five is just another F-word, isn't it?
Matthias - April 20, 2009 - Report this comment
I still love this one, and this was a great OS too. I would love to hear a recording of this parody. That's right Jeff. A recording. -clears throat- A recording.... Catch my drift. lol. Good stuff as always buddy.
Claude Prez - April 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Good idea; well executed (of course). I am, however, starting to wonder why the flock I don't know any of these songs, I'm like 0-for-3 so far. Anyway, great stuff.
Below Average Dave - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
Well, you already know I love this one Jeff, I still love all the near curse words and examples of curse situations.
Phil Alexander - April 28, 2009 - Report this comment
What Melanie said... though I have to admit that I closed down youtube half way through, 'cause I really can't stand the OS. The slightly worrying side of that is that I have an idea for a parody to it... Anyway, a ****ing good parody (I could be ultra-critical and suggest that I don't think it's quite up to your usual standard, but that's your fault for setting the bar that high)
bobpiecheese - April 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(SOTM) ****ing see above!
Cody Slusher - June 05, 2009 - Report this comment
I just loved it. Just loved it. LOL.
Mark Scotti - March 02, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) "Curses", I'm reading this again...........annnnnnnd loving it!
Agrimorfee - March 03, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTY) On the 2nd read here, I notice how great the choruses are compared to the verses. They were very hard to do, it seems.
Arwen - March 10, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTY...I decided I don't like this anymore. Hee hee...

(I thought I'd break up my comments of "still love this" with a curve ball. You know it's a fave though...)
Silver Power - March 14, 2010 - Report this comment
Dave might defeat everyone in SOTY with this song.. God f**kin' damn it... Excuse my language. 5s.
EmiLoca - April 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Ridiculous. I loooove that you do such delightful skewerings of crappy Top 40 songs, and I related too much for this one to be anywhere but in my top picks.
DJ Blaze - April 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Pretty darn good, though I don't use any cursing except for PINGAS! 555
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2010 - Report this comment
See above again

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