Safety warnin’
Okay now
I buy a mattress right
But what’s this I see?
A message: You are forewarned
Oh no

I climbed into my hot tub that morning
Didn’t check the safety warnin’
The heat was all the way on
I never read the safety warnin’
Scalded my skin upon it
Then I see the safety warnin’(Hot water again)
Now I need a doctor
No lawsuit ‘cause the safety warnin’

Started up my new lawn mower
Pulled the cord; started mowing
But I went up too steep a hill
I slip and almost lose my hands
Throw the mower, oh well
Then I see the instructions do tell:
“Don’t go up too high a slope
If you happen to test, bud, we’ll have quite a show!”

I bought my new PC, it’s starting
I removed the safety warning
Bumped into an open socket
I wish I’d read that safety warnin’
Woke up in a hospital room
I threw away my safety warnin’
AFV is getting on it
I’ve never read a safety warnin’

Bought a bag of compact discs
I decided to burn them
Everybody else knew how I’m sure
But I honestly didn’t know
Poured on some lighter petrol
Used a lighter to make them go
Next thing I know they glow
They burned the room and a gaping hole

I bought a shredder for confetti snowing
Just shredded the safety warnin’
Put my hand in there too far
Didn’t stop until it hit the bone
Struggled to reach the phone
I dialed the 911 a bawlin’
Paramedics laughed off and on
Sedated me ‘till the next mornin’

Speakers for noise
Woke up the world
Brand new oven
Burned my kitchen, let’s try it again

Yes
I’ll keep, I’ll keep doing this
Get a… new one
Buy… a new TV set

I found a wire
Brought out my pliers
Felt like the voltage
Couldn’t go any higher

Unsafe? That’s me
I’m a tryer. New products make me go-go

I bought a brand new microwave oven
Tore off that new safety warnin’
Went to go turn it on
Put in some microwaveable popcorn
Made it go and get so ho-ot
Cooked it while it was burning
Use them ‘till they’re breaking down
Never heed that safety warnin’

I like my toys
When they don’t hur-urt
They’ll be my end
Danger’s my friend; I’m doing it