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Song Parodies -> "Abstinence (Is The Best Way)"

Original Song Title:

"What U See (Is What U Get)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Britney Spears

Parody Song Title:

"Abstinence (Is The Best Way)"

Parody Written by:

Mikerz

The Lyrics

I hope you enjoy!
You used to say we'd wait for marriage
Honeymoon's our night
But now you say you can't wait any longer
That temptation's too high
You got to respect your own promise
No sex before we wed
So we can deal with premarital tension
I'm sleeping in my own bed
You are one devoted Christian
Please don't throw that all away
If we pray we'll find the strength

Abstinence is the best way
Chastity's, for me
Waiting for my wedding day
You should practice what I preach
We have integrity
Baby, abstinence is the best way

I know you watch me when I undress
Slipping into my nightgown
I can feel your hands on my thigh, oh no, not now
I can't give you what you're asking
My virginity
I will please you in more ways than one
But first I need a ring
You are one devoted Christian
Please don't throw that all away
If we pray we'll find the strength

Abstinence is the best way
Chastity's, for me
Waiting for my wedding day
You should practice what I preach
We have integrity
Baby, abstinence is the best way

You are one devoted Christian
Please don't throw that all away

If you wait
You'll be thanking me later
Sexually
Yes I'll pleasure you, oh
You'll be thanking me later
If you wait, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Abstinence is the best way
Chastity's, for me
Oh, waiting for my wedding day yes
You should practice what I preach, oh yeah
We have integrity
Baby, abstinence is the best way
We have integrity
Baby, abstinence is the best way

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 1
 2
 
 2   0
 2
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 0
 
 4   2
 1
 2
 
 5   2
 3
 4
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

lebeiw15 - July 12, 2003 - Report this comment
GREAT message, everyone's going to throw tomatoes at me, but abstinence IS the best way.
Hoeveel - July 12, 2003 - Report this comment
The best way to what?
Mikerz - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
The best way to live life... ;)
Ghetto John - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
I totally agree with this message and it was a good parody. I mean if I would have slept with my girlfriend of 14 months this break up would be ten times harder and plus Its the will of God.
Mikerz - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
I wrote this parody because I'm saving myself for marriage. Thanks everyone for all the comments!
Michael Pacholek - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
The best way to live -- like me. Not that I'm trying, it just works out that way. In the immortal words of Woody Allen, "The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty." Of course, that's a very old joke.
Hoeveel - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Yus, i'm in the forced-celebacy camp too. But Mikerz, could you expand on that? I don't understand, how is it the best way?
Joelle - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
GREAT message and good parody. I am saving myself, too!
Mikerz - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Hoeveel, it's my opinion. It's also so one's chances of getting aids or any other STD/STI is less. It's because I find sex to be an extremely personal thing that you don't share with 3,000 different people. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I like that y'all leave comments, but you could vote as well... please... ;) I like to know when I've written a strong parody, and nothing says that like a high score, voted that way by a lot of people.
Billy Florio - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Abstinence is the best way not to have fun lol.......I find it completely ironic that this is to the tune of a Britney Spears song, but anyway, I would vote, but I have never heard the original in my life ...anyway, Some of you may change your tune when you get older.....
Hoeveel - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Mikerz - Yeah, i understand it's your opinion: i'm just wondering how you came to it. :) On the subject of STDs, is it against STDs or pregnancy that condoms are 99% effective? And also, there is a half-way house on this, you don't necessary have to sleep with anything that moves or otherwise be completely celebate. For instance, i don't think i'm going to sleep with '3,000' people or anything close in my lifetime.
Pat - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Billy...are you trying to corrupt youth?
Mikerz - July 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Part of the "How Funny" is the fact that this is to the tune of a Britney Spears song, LoL. I don't think it's that funny of a parody, but it's hilarious considering who the tune's by... ;) OMG, I was being facetious with the 3,000 number, LoL. Anyway, to make you happy, I came to that opinion because I'm writing a parody of every Britney song, starting with the Oops! album (don't ask why), and I just so happened to think of a title for a parody, and it just so happened to fit with the configuration of “What U See (Is What U Get)”, combined with the fact that I believe in abstinence. Okay, can you tell me that you’re happy now? Damn, I should do a parody of that song... I hope y’all look out for my next parodies! “Midol” also known as “Lucky”, and “One Misplaced Shoe” also known as “One Kiss From You”, which I’m sure you’ve never heard unless you are a Britney fan.
Hoeveel - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
I realised that number was an exaggeration but i was still trying to use it to point out that just because i don't believe in abstinence doesn't mean i'll be engaging in sex at every given opportunity :Þ Yes, i understand how you came to write the parody, what i mean is how did you come to your opinion on abstinence.
Mikerz - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
My parents. They brought me up that way. I'm not even a religious person, but I believe abstience is the best way... until you're married... ;-) That's when it pays off, in my opinion.
Billy Florio - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
"Billy...are you trying to corrupt youth?" ...Not any more than Socrates....lol ;-)
Pat - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
ahh...now you are Socrates...:D
lebeiw15 - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
My gosh, this has gotten a lot of comments... lol... IMO, it's the best way until you're married, of course, because I'm a Christian and I too was brought up that way. I know not everyone feels the same way but that's your opinion. I was just saying that this song has a great message to those who feel that way.
Hoeveel - July 14, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, i was brought up a certain way but i don't take any of it as an absolute...i tend to try to form my own opinions.
Mikerz - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, my parents have taught me things that I DON'T take as an absolute. Abstinence is just one of the many things they taught me that I agree with. So, even if I agree with my parents, I'm supposed to form my own opinion, and it has to be different? That's what it sounds like you're saying, but I could be totally off base. I have no idea what your parents have taught you. Maybe I'd disagree, too. I was never expecting this many comments... :-o
Hoeveel - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
No, it just seemed like you were saying your whole reasoning behind it was that you were brought up that way - which just strikes me as bizarre. I'm not suggesting you have to 'rebel' or anything, i'm just thinking that if you aren't Christian then your parents stance on abstinence doesn't seem to transfer.
Mikerz - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, I was brought up Christian. I should have said I'm not religious... now. My parents are very religious, and I was at one time. It's just, since I've gotten older, I've shyed away from church and religion in general. I still have morals and beliefs, though. One of them just happens to be abstinence, which I converted into a parody.
Hoeveel - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Well what i'm wondering is, you must base your morals on something, right? For instance, your parents got their morals from the bible - they were abstaining because they believed that was what God wanted and that would get them into Heaven. If you aren't Christian, then why does this moral still seem pertinent? Excuse me if it seems like i'm being awkward: it's not deliberate, i'm just interested in this sort of thing.
Mikerz - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I spelled shyed wrong... :-o It should be shied. Anyway, although I'm no longer religious, I still believe, for my own personal reasons, that abstinence is the best way to live life. Just because I don't practice religion or read the bible doesn't mean I can't take something I've learned from them and apply it to my own non-religious life. I believe holding out for that special someone (aside from being beyond extremely sexy, romantic, amazing, etc...) is the right thing to do, not to please "God", or to get into "heaven", but to please myself. I hold extra high standards for myself, I'm actually quite snobby at times, though I don't mean to be.
Hoeveel - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Actually, i think i've seen it spelt with a 'y' before, but then again i'm from the U.K. and there's a slight discrepency between American spelling and ours. Hmm, well, as i was saying before, out of context (the context of Christianity), i find it hard to see how it applies. I suppose i can understand holding out for someone special. But i got the general impression from the comments posted here that it was being suggested (by you or by others) that it was best for everyone. Maybe you should have specified, best for you. Just my opinion :)
Hoeveel - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
Just notice i spelt discrepancy wrong :/ :)
Mikerz - July 15, 2003 - Report this comment
I don't like to be preachy, so I'm sorry if I sounded that way. I'm definitely not against people who aren't abstinent or anything. To each their own. I wouldn't mind if more people were, but I don't shove it down peoples' throats, expecting them to convert. I let them know that I am, and that's usually the end of that. I agree, it's probably not best for everyone. Too darn bad I couldn't have fit that into this parody somehow... ;-) That's cool that you're from the UK. My mum's British, actually... :)
aman - May 11, 2004 - Report this comment
where can I hear this song?? plz email me at funky_monkey247@hotmail.com with info where i can get this song
ludaKris42602 - June 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Um...on the CD? lol....it's on her Oops...I did it again! CD...i think...i used to LOVE britney spears!!! Good parody!
T.E. - January 30, 2006 - Report this comment
I love the lyrics. They are great!
Lyndsey - April 09, 2006 - Report this comment
i too love the lyrics i'm 16 and i get teased for being a virgin and i don't see why people expect me to give my virginity up. i'd be risking pregnancy and disease (condoms and the pill aren't foolproof) besides i just don't want to have sex till i'm married i see my virginity as a million dollar gift , its my choice. if a guy can't wait till u get married how do you expect him to be able to respect your wishes when you' re married , how do you know he won't cheat on you ,it seems like he's weak . people say that its impossible to wait because of urges but its not impossible its hard and nothing good in life is easy. btw i'm not condemming peple who do its not my buisness.
Jaaz - August 22, 2006 - Report this comment
HAHA...very funny....love it.
Mike - February 03, 2007 - Report this comment
I just turned 18, but when I get married will I give all of my life to one girl--not just "the rest of my life", but all the baggage I bring from my past. You see, while I probably haven't even met her, my life's already hers; how could I give that to someone else? You know... there's a really good song by Sense Field called "Save Yourself". Look for it. Lyndsey... you're brave. Stay strong, but don't loose heart if you slip: Christ's love for us (the love of a husband to his wife) is unconditional. (But if you can make it, your faithfulness will be a blessing to you and your husband.)
Sarah Elaine - August 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I know the last comment was from many months ago, but I'l stil comment anyways because the song made me feel good. I'll start out with this:I'm a 16 year old female whom is a virgin. I'm not atheist,but not really religious. I've never been inside a church a day in my life. do have morals, christian and of my own. I'm NOT condemingpele who don't chose my belief,heed this.I'm saving myself for mariage as are some of you. The way I see it as is this: by chosing to save yourself says that you are intending to give yourself to "the one and only." There's the reward of not getting any unwanted pregnancies, prevention of STDs (Not all are sexually tansmitted), and remembering that you didn't give yourself to the wrong person. You can only give your virginity to one person and one person only. If sex is what keeps a relationship together or makes it, it's not real love apparently. Sure you won't be experienced, but "practice makes perfect" doesn't it? I admire you too Lyndsey. I agree, if he can't wait and respect your wishes, he doesn't seem like he'd be a faithful, non-cheating boyfriend, possible husband,and mabe anythng. It's a hard thing people say, but I see it offering rewards. Stay strong in your belief, whichever side you chose and don't let peer pressure knock you down. Thank you, Mikerz, for making this. I started to feel alone for awhile. :)
abstinencegrl - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Have you ever noticed that anyone who is preaching abstinance are teenagers and parents of teenagers? You'll grow out of it.

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