Some days my life's like a sitcom,
But not like most that you know.
See, mine is full of nostalgia,
Just like "That '70s Show".

Hang out with Forman and Donna,
Talk conspiracies with Hyde.
Can't stand that little midget Jackie
And her loud, incessant whines.

'Cause when you're in the '70s,
It's an alternate reality.
Just sittin' in a circle,
Things are looking purple
Through all that cloudy haze.

Fez will throw a major fit
When his candy isn't just how he likes it.
And then we'll hear, "Good day!"
"But Fez," "I say good day!"
That's what we'll hear them say,
Living in the '70s.

I get to eat Kitty's cooking.
I'm at her house every day.
My friends fall off the water tower,
And yet their bones never break.

See Bob and Midge practice yoga.
They do some awful weird stuff.
But our good friend Leo lets us
Hang out at the Foto-Hut!

'Cause when you're in the '70s,
It's an alternate reality.
Just talkin' in the circle,
Things are looking purple
Through all that cloudy haze.

Kelso falls in and out of love,
And Eric's sister Laurie is a slut.
We hang out with our buds
At school or at The Hub
It's all just a part of
Living in the '70s.

So let's pile in the Vista Cruiser and head out
To the Formans' basement of fun.
We'll hear Red yell things like
"Dumbass!" at everyone.
Hello, Wisconsin! Here we come!

'Cause when you're in the '70s,
It's an alternate reality.
Just talkin' in the circle,
Things are looking purple
Through all that cloudy haze.
Living in the '70s.

Yeah, the '70s.

Uh-huh.

"Hey, where's my Candyland money?"