I roll out of bed around 5:30
Glare at the alarm clock with much scorn
Descend the stairs, with a frown
Feelin' like eatin' something warm

Always microwave 'em just a little too long
Burn my fingers and scream in pain
But it really does have a very pleasant taste
When my breakfast pastries are in flames

I think I'm gonna pop this tart
Pop this tart
Pop this tart
Eat with a smile

Sometimes I'll scrape the frosting off
Sometimes I'll leave 'em alone
If I'm feelin' sick, I'll feed 'em to my dog
Otherwise I'll just chow down alone

There's nothin' as good as strawberry
Sure beats some butter and bread
They save me tons of cash, 'cause they're so cheap
And when I'm done I always feel fed

I think I'm gonna pop this tart
Pop this tart
Think I'm gonna pop this tart...
Eat with a smile

I could eat Hot Pockets, but I wanna live
And fruit gets all rotten and brown
Whenever I make toast, it gets done too well
And Cool Whip makes me get fat and round

Like hot dogs they last...for many years
They'll expire ten years after I'm dead
And If I keep on eatin' this way
That day's not far ahead

I ordered me a case to eat, bite and guzzle
And dispose of later tonight
Go ahead and keep your bowl of Cheerios
'Cause I know how to start my day right

So I'm gonna pop this tart
Pop this tart
Pop this tart
Eat with a smile

I'm gonna pop this tart
I'm gonna pop this tart
I'm gonna pop this tart
Eat with a smile

Yeah
Yeah