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Song Parodies -> "The Teach' Has No Heart"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Phunk With My Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Black Eyed Peas

Parody Song Title:

"The Teach' Has No Heart"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Teach' is an abbreviation for 'teacher' for those didn't know (highly unlikely, IMO).
No, no, no, no
Teacher has no heart
No, no, no, no
Teacher has no heart

Today the teacher took my phone
Guess it was a bit loud, buddy
(Loud, loud, loud, loud)
Bit loud, buddy
She wouldn't give it back, oh no
Not 'til I'd written an essay
(No, no, no, no)
Not fair, buddy

Yep, the teacher caught me, caught me
Saying words quite naughty, nuaghty
So now I'm in deep sh*t
And nothing I say can help me
Try to tell her that it started
I was holding stuff and dropped it
Right on my foot, so I screamed 'Sh*t!'
I was too loud
And now I will cop it

No, no, no, no
The teach' has no heart

Now I'm in detention, tention
And my gut is wrenchin', wrenchin'
Yes, I'm in discomfort
Not allowed to eat lunch here
Buddy, you're stuck in here too?
So tell me what did you do
That made the teacher get so pissed off?
Wearin' the wrong socks?!

And now it's done, I can go home
Will my parents be mad? Maybe
(Mad, mad, mad, mad)
Real mad? Mabye
It seems as though they're not at home
I'm safe at least for now, buddy
(Now, now, now, now)
For now, buddy

I suppose that I am lucky
That my Dad don't discipline me
And since my Mum never sees me
She's too busy watchin' her TV
My Dad says "How was school?"
I say "Did work like I'm s'possed to
Yelled the naughty word for 'poo'
Not my fault, 'cause I crushed my shoe"

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Teacher has no heart

Dad says "Well, that's okay
Did you get in trouble today?"
"That naughty word that I said loud-lay
Got me detention today"
Dad says "But did you explain
That you were in quite deep pain?"
I say "Teach' won't take it that way
She don't believe what I say
Well, yeah, it is crap

I got stuck writing out lines, Daddy
Just because my language was a tad crappy
What's the point of writing lines, Daddy
Don't they know I'll forget them like that, buddy?

Teachers don't know how to feel
They wound me, no intent to heal
So what do I get from this deal?
It's just...

Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair
Not-not-not-not-not-not-not fair

No, no, no, no
Teacher has no heart
No, no, no, no
Teacher has no heart

The notes the teacher sends to home
Always end up in the fire
(Burn, burn, burn, burn)
Love that fire
It seems that I am trouble-prone
And Miss Gill* is always watching
(Creepy, creepy)
Always watching
I still haven't got back my phone
Though it has been about a month
(No fair, no fair)
Yes, a month
'Cause now I really need that phone
All those notes are burning my house
(Fire, fire, fire, fire)
Burning my house

"Your fault for making that noise, Jason
It's what you get for your trouble-makin'"
Dad took time getting his phone ready
I should sue for ev'rything you've got, teachy!
*I do not know a Miss Gill. The name was chosen purely because it rhymed with the 'will' in the original line. Also, my name's not Jason. I do know a Jason, and he's awesome.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 0
 
 4   2
 2
 3
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

unKnownVo - September 10, 2008 - Report this comment
. . . for your Worrisome, Troublin' , phone Droppin' ways, Sir !
Dr Music - September 11, 2008 - Report this comment
Great song. That teacher must be a real nightmare to deal with. I wouldn't wish her on my arch enemy.
Agrimorfee - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Though the syllables match, the title is kind of hard to pace. This wasn't remarkably funny for me, as say compared to your Loch Star. Try doing more creative ideas like that one instead of so many school-related songs.
Max Power - September 27, 2008 - Report this comment
Jason Vorhees?
Matthias - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree whole-heartedly with Aggy on this one. Almost on everything he said above except that the title paced fine for me, I was just bored with the topic, because school related parodies can only be done so many times before getting old, and although I understand what you're talking about with these, I mean we've all been to school (Unlike your Transformers parodies which confuse the heck out of me) you need to kick it up a notch, because I've seen you do some great work before.
Below Average Dave - October 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(Art) Pacing for me was a bit off on the choruses and the rap part in the middle had a self rhyme (today was used twice--don't worry I've made that mistake several times) I agree with Matty on School topics, I haven't been in school since I graduated in 2001, so I can only relate to so many--THAT SAID--you'll always relate to roughly 20% of industrialized nations with school topics based on current school enrollment of people aged 5 and older. So it's not a topic you should abandon persay--but one that when done has to be done over the top (think "Maths Test")
Rex - October 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Universal topic (we've all had our "teacher moments"). But like BAD said, needs to be more "over the top" -- perhaps a description of the teacher's "detention hall of horrors"?

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