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Song Parodies -> "Body Hair"

Original Song Title:

"Naughty Girl"

Original Performer:

Beyonce

Parody Song Title:

"Body Hair"

Parody Written by:

EmiLoca

The Lyrics

All you females in da 'ouse: Anyone ELSE start sprouting ten hours after you've shaved? I think I should join the circus. Anyway, I was the inspiration for this parody. Take a peek.
Please say "Wax me!"
You're putting wookies all to shame, Oy!
Just tell them, "Bleach me!"
(Though I think it'd look the same)

(You're lookin' kinda h-a-i-r-y;
Your ankle's picking up debris)

Maybe a facial buffer or thinner? Gee!
Your thighs could sweep a runway clean!
Start peeling that hot wax, babe
Just take a razor and shaving cream
You'll know why it's so important, see?
There's no need to conceal it; just shave it, babe

Tonight, I saw your body hair
It gave me quite a scare!
With all the stubble sticking out
You shouldn't flaunt your body
Tonight, please wax your body hair
That is my only prayer
Before you wear that strapless gown
To the dinner party

Oh, you vex me!
It's thicker than before, Oy!
Please disembody
the hair - it's not a chore!

(This "Makeover" might be a bit "Extreme"
Watch it tonight on ABC!)

Lazy! I'll even give you a wax for free
It's just, your hair keeps tripping me
The length of it does amaze me, babe
It's nappy, thick to the worst degree
I'm heating wax in the micro-weeve
I'm hoping this won't take sev'ral days, eek! Babe...

Tonight I'll wax your body hair
It's all for free, I swear
And when you turn in pain and shout
I'll smile - "Your legs are hot, yes?"
Incite a loss of body hair
(Yikes, I won't wax you there...)
Yanking the strips, I'll rip them down
Now you're hair-free, spotless!

Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!

In spite of all my efforts, girl
Looks like your hair unfurled
That's it - I give up - just get out!
No longer want your body
You must've set a record, girl
Longest hair in the world
You're on display - a sideshow clown
You're a work of art! Whee!

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
This reminds me of my last girlfriend...she had lovely long hair...none on her head, mind you, but lovely long hair....well done 555
Apricot - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I loved it! 5-4-5!
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks to the both of you!
Tibbygirl - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Body hair leads me to think of Captain Jack Sparrow which makes me think about Orlando Bloom.....*sigh*. Another grand ol' parody, can't wait til the next one........Orlando Bloom.....ahh.....
EmiLoca - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Your brother voted 1's on this, didn't he? But who was the other person? *shakes fist* Stupid kids!
Harry - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Where's the picture?
Meriadoc - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Too many excellent lines to quote! Good job!

Be glad you're not a hobbit - we have to wax the tops of our feet - ouch! ;-)
EmiLoca - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Meriadoc! And...I'm not sure whether or not to thank Harry. Oh heck, thanks Harry, and I'll email you the picture.
Saider E. - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
LOL!
EmiLoca - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
CURSE YOU, CHRIS BELL!!! Don't think you're safe from my wrath, because I know where you live. You're the house with the freaking forest in front. Yeah. Be afraid. Run while you still have feet.
Tibbygirl - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't worry, Emi, I'll take care of it. *walks into Chris's room, where he is silently sleeping* Yeah, this will show him.....*picks him up, takes him to Luke's house and throws him in the Iron Maiden* There Luke. Do what you want with him.
Apricot - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
No! Give him to... ME!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
OK Apricto, *strain* I'll give you Chris, *pull* once I'm able to open this *exertion* bloody Iorn Maiden. *gives up* Gee, it seems to be crammed full of donuts, bags of dead bodies, mountain dew and scot- err... cheese. Try rigging up some sort of pulley system with EmiLoca's ankle hairs.
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
*frozen in horror* Where...*gasp*...are...*gasp*...the...*gasp*...rings?
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(Aww, I really want to joke that they're stuck in your throat, but I'll play along, gasp girl) Apricot! Get that pulley system up quicksmart! Tibbygirl, GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!
EmiLoca - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
All right, just for that, anything male and breathing that happens to stumble across this string of comments has my permission to "GREASE ME UP", too. OUCH!!! *leftover ankle hairs are ripped off*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Sorry about that. I forgot I don't breathe.
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
*wails* Those rings were expensive! Do you know how long I had to hassle the Chinese street merchant for those??? And now you stuff them in a rusted doughnut storage device...I'm appalled.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
There is only one option: we must forge the rings out of the most evil matter in the world. This happens to be a convenient combination of Mountain Dew, scotch, deceased people in garbage bags and eye of Tibbygirl. To Mount Doom!!!
EmiLoca - June 17, 2004 - Report this comment
And cheese! Don't forget cheese. In addition, can we make a few stops along the way? I hear Mount Doom is in the general vincinity of Mirkwood. Give or take a few hundred miles.
Apricot - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Ooo! We can take my fishing boat! It's a pirate ship!
EmiLoca - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, and we'll row across the mountains. *raises eyebrow at Apricot*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 20, 2004 - Report this comment
To Apricot's logic! *raises eyebrow and clinks it with EmiLoca's*
Apricot - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
It's a MAGICAL boat. It can FLY, and BURROW and there's a really comfy chair on it.
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay then, but I get the chair. And the comfy.
Tibbygirl - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
*emerges with a large can of grease, and talks in a plumber voice* Alrighty than, folkses, I'll justa go overr her, and y'all will justa hafta cum ova here to get yur greasin'.*switches to normal voice* A trip? That's sounds positively delightful!!! May I come, too????
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I think your questionable spelling of "come" reveales the suggestive nature of the phrase "Grease me up". You may COME.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I just got a mental image of the surname 'Cummingham'. *oink*
EmiLoca - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
And I'll take the obvious one - e. e. cummings (wonder what the e. e. stands for...I'll leave that one out in the open).
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I'll bring it back inside. "Enjoying EmiLoca's..."
Apricot - June 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Alright. Now the ship is magical, so it can fly! Everyone, buckle up! *hands everyone a strip of tape and a cushion, obviously ripped from a car* TAKE OFF! *ship begins flying. Flys well for a while, then slowly starts to sink into....* OH NO! We appear to have veered off course and run out of gas, and we're fast sinking into a forest filled with hippies! NOOOOOOO!
Tibbygirl - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
RUN 'EM OVER! RUN 'EM ALL OVER!!!!!
EmiLoca - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Those aren't hippies! Those are tree-hugging elves! *See "Emi's Theory of Political Incorrectness in The Lord of the Rings"*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Well then, they are 'reality-challenged creatures embracing overly-statured vegetation'.
Tibbygirl - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
You know what, let's not have this exchange of images right now.
bobpiecheese - March 25, 2006 - Report this comment
This reminds me of an ad for a movie. I think it was for 'Without A Paddle'. Anyway, this girl was talking to one of the lead guys and said something like '100% body hair' and shows her legs. Needless to say, the guy wasn't impressed. Good work, EmiLoca.

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