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Song Parodies -> "Bothered By Buzzards"

Original Song Title:

"Rockin' The Suburbs"

Original Performer:

Ben Folds Five

Parody Song Title:

"Bothered By Buzzards"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

On to song two of how many songs can I complete in four hours! This is all done because I need to stay awake because I need to be on the set at 4:00 in the morning! Which is basically only an hour and a half away now! Fun! Fun!
In the desert I took a hike
Hit the trail and I’m feeling psyched
But a glitch in the nature scene
Made me pissed like you won’t believe
This sucks!

I’ve got these birds driving me insane
They eat the dead critters that were slain
That is gross but it’s quite mundane
Why do birdies want to give me pain?!

I’m bothered by buzzards!
They think I’m a skeleton!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Accept that I’m not carrion!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
I’m perplexed they think I’m snacks
But this cadaver that they’re after has still yet to get the axe!

A slight cough doesn’t mean I’ve died
They lick their beaks and I’ve lost all pride
Scavengers! You know I’m still alive!
No need to fuss cause I have survived!

These vultures want to stuff their face
All through the Grand Canyon I am chased

I’m bothered by buzzards!
All for their dying diet fix!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Accept that I’m not a carcass!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Please check out all of your facts!
Cause I’m a liver not your dinner so go find another Big Mac!

I am plain amazed
That these birds want a big bite
Is something messed up with their eyesight?
Or do I really smell like I’m deceased so bad birds beg?
Cause these birdies want a taste
And the Grand, Grand, Grand Canyon
Wasn’t all that grand, grand, grand, grand of a break.
I’ll be on a tortilla
A buzzard’s pizzeria
It is worse than gonorrhea!
I just wanted to walk
To this famous landmark’s base!

Why do these damn birds strike!?
Being pale doesn’t mean I’ve died!
It’s not something that I like!
Gotta wail as they all take flight!
I wish they’d take a hike!
Not a meal with a can of Sprite!
I’d stab them with a spike!
Swing a flail just to end my plight!

Why can’t these buzzards buzz off? Cause I’m not a buffet!
Why can’t these buzzards buzz off? Cause I am not their prey!
Why can’t these buzzards buzz off? Skin’s not dead and gray!

Cause I’m not that ghostly yet!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Why can’t you wait until I’m dead?!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
I’ll break their necks if they attack!
Cause this cadaver that they’re after is getting sick of all their crap!

Damn! Damn!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Crap! Crap!
I’m bothered by buzzards!
Man! Man!

Until I’m a corpse all your circling sucks!
Until I’m a corpse all your circling sucks!
Until I’m a corpse all your circling sucks!
Until I’m a corpse all your circling sucks!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - April 15, 2011 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but this is the title o' the day for me. Tasty parody too. "On the set"? Do tell.
Jeff Reuben - May 09, 2011 - Report this comment
I was wondering how long you could carrion a song about this topic ;)
Blaydeman - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent work Matty! My favorite couplet was "I’m perplexed they think I’m snacks; But this cadaver that they’re after has still yet to get the axe!" I was sold after I read that line. Hopefully three 5's will keep you alive LOL!
Peter Andersson - May 15, 2011 - Report this comment
True story here; once after a long run in the forest (where the starting and ending point was in the forest too) I dropped on my back to rest for ten minutes, and fell asleep for an hour. When I woke up, still on my back, there where two large predator birds circling round and round over me up in the sky. And yet they always say running makes you look healthy, he-he...
Glen S - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
What is this you seem to carrion about? Nice late write. Seems pretty coherent to me. Good work, Matt.
Wild Child JIN - May 18, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) As soon as the "buzzards" "buzz" off, you'll see that all they left was three 5's behind for you Matthias. :-)
Abbott Skelding - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM: Great work! I love the original song and this was a nice topic to go with it. The pacing seemed a little off for me in a couple places, but nothing that a little tweaking can't fix! Nice job!
bobpiecheese - May 30, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can see the video now: a man, alone in the desert, running Jack Sparrow style while vultures chase after him...hilarity will ensue, I tells ya. That said, TMGLTM, just fantastic overall, 555!
Glen S - February 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Still quality Matty. You don't have to carrion about it any more.
Porfle Popnecker - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
This happens to me all the time.
Mark Scotti - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
Dead man....LAUGHING! Reminds me of my Thanksgiving parody where the guy got "gobbled" up!
Mark Scotti - February 23, 2012 - Report this comment
left out my (ABC)
Blaydeman - February 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above^^^ Still really good!
Abbott Skelding - March 02, 2012 - Report this comment
^See Above, just as good as I remembered.
Agrimorfee - March 06, 2012 - Report this comment
555 circling overhead...
Glen S - March 09, 2012 - Report this comment
Enjoyed it more the third time around Matty. Carry on, carrion
bobpiecheese - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
D-Mon - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm bothered by bad parodies... GOOD THING THIS ISN'T ONE!!!!! Awesome job!
Agrimorfee - February 14, 2014 - Report this comment
I usually dont comment again for an Artistry entry, but man I gotta say, this is better than I remembered it. Not bad in four hours time! Lots of great subs and internal rhymes.The video you provided doesn't have the "Why can't these buzzards buzz off?" bridge but I dont think that will matter too much.
Abbott Skelding - February 23, 2014 - Report this comment
See above...and above that...this was still pretty funny and I appreciate all the nice rhymes mixed in too (cadaver/after, liver/dinner), nice work.
Max Power - February 23, 2014 - Report this comment
I know how that felt, really getting old myself
Glen S - February 24, 2014 - Report this comment
This parody still doesn't bother me, Matt. In fact its still as witty and funny as ever. Great use of Ben Folds on a site where Ben Folds songs don't get much recognition. And thanks for the reminder to enter, it feels good to be a part of these again.
bobpiecheese - February 25, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above...again!
Blaydeman - February 25, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Still one of my favorite Matthias parodies of all time.

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