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Song Parodies -> "Turnpike"
Original Song Title:
"Girlfriend"
Original Performer:
Avril Lavigne
Parody Song Title:
"Turnpike"
Parody Written by:
Joe the Crazy Conch
The Lyrics
I wanted to do a song that wasn't about NASCAR, but I didn't know what to focus it on. Having put up with traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike on a trip to Washington, D.C., I figured that I would make fun of the massive superhighway with a commuter on that road. Showing a slight distaste for Avril Lavigne (I never liked her, especially when I misinterpreted her first hit as "Pennsylvania" ), I wrote this song "Turnpike".
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck out on the Turnpike
In bumper-to-bumper traffic
Hey, hey, you, you, I shouldn't be on the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I need to find another way
No way, no way, I don't want to be stuck here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'd rather not use the Turnpike
It's not fine, at Exit 9, stuck for two miles
I think about taking 295, that route's much faster
Don't you think that makes my commute all right?
Don't screw up, I sit in a mess near Trenton
And heck yeah, it backs up south of Princeton
I can tell you want to get off, too, and you know I'll turn right
This road is so "whatever"
I can take a route that's much better
I think I should take the next exit now
And get on I-295 somehow
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck out on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I'm nowhere near Camden
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm near Exit 6 now
No way, no way, that I'm hitting 20
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
I can see, I can see a better way to Philly
Even when I'm off the road, this thought comes to me
I know I'm stuck near Burlington again and again
Get me on 295 and out of here
Better yet, make this traffic disappear
I don't want to drive on this turnpike again
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I don't want to be here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm not moving on the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I know that I'm stuck here
No way, no way, I haven't moved in 15 minutes
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
In a second I'll be off the highway
I want to commute to Philly my way
When's this mess all going to sink in?
Driving on the Turnpike, what was I thinking?
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I'm nowhere near an exit
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck in freaking traffic
No way, no way, you know 295 is faster
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm not a fan of the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, Exit 4 is too far
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
No way (No way!)
Hey, hey, you, you, I know that there's traffic
No way, no way, I don't want to sit here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike!
(GPS: Take Exit 4 onto Rt-73 North toward Camden/Philadelphia
J.C.: What a freaking relief!)
In bumper-to-bumper traffic
Hey, hey, you, you, I shouldn't be on the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I need to find another way
No way, no way, I don't want to be stuck here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'd rather not use the Turnpike
It's not fine, at Exit 9, stuck for two miles
I think about taking 295, that route's much faster
Don't you think that makes my commute all right?
Don't screw up, I sit in a mess near Trenton
And heck yeah, it backs up south of Princeton
I can tell you want to get off, too, and you know I'll turn right
This road is so "whatever"
I can take a route that's much better
I think I should take the next exit now
And get on I-295 somehow
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck out on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I'm nowhere near Camden
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm near Exit 6 now
No way, no way, that I'm hitting 20
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
I can see, I can see a better way to Philly
Even when I'm off the road, this thought comes to me
I know I'm stuck near Burlington again and again
Get me on 295 and out of here
Better yet, make this traffic disappear
I don't want to drive on this turnpike again
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I don't want to be here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm not moving on the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I know that I'm stuck here
No way, no way, I haven't moved in 15 minutes
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
In a second I'll be off the highway
I want to commute to Philly my way
When's this mess all going to sink in?
Driving on the Turnpike, what was I thinking?
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, I'm nowhere near an exit
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck in freaking traffic
No way, no way, you know 295 is faster
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm not a fan of the Turnpike
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm stuck on the Turnpike
No way, no way, Exit 4 is too far
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike
No way (No way!)
Hey, hey, you, you, I know that there's traffic
No way, no way, I don't want to sit here
Hey, hey, you, you, I'm getting off the Turnpike!
(GPS: Take Exit 4 onto Rt-73 North toward Camden/Philadelphia
J.C.: What a freaking relief!)
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 1 | 1 |
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You're not stuck at Exit 9. I'M stuck at Exit 9!
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