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Song Parodies -> "Stalker Friend (2013 Redux)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Avril Lavigne

Parody Song Title:

"Stalker Friend (2013 Redux)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

So when I released this close to 5 years ago a lot of people said that there were pacing issues with it so I decided to fix it up for the Avril Lavigne Artistry Round. It paces much better now and I added a few references to it actually being Avril Lavigne singing this song not just any generic creepily obsessed stalker so it's more satirical and all around funnier in my opinion.
I whine like a Little Kid!

No Fair!
No Fair!
Her boyfriend’s the cute one!

My boyfriend looks like a pig!

Cry! Cry!
Pout! Pout!
No, I’m not in 6th grade!

No way!
No way!
I’m a college freshman

So why
You ask
“Are you such a Little Kid!?”

Always whine
Cause you’re not mine
I might get vicious!
I Facebook-stalk you while online
Our love’s fictitious!
You think I'm sniffing glue and my brain's not right
(Not right, not right, not right, not right)

Grab a branch outside your house to watch you piss
Cause to me you’re as Charming as that Prince, yes!
So get that little tramp off you and give me a try
(A try, a try, a try, a try, a try…)

You are handsome and clever
Load her and pull the lever
That catapult will chuck her now
And then you and I can go make-out!!!

Hey Hun!
I’ll behead your girlfriend!

Yeah babe!
Yeah babe!
So you can go take me on!

Hot Stuff!
Let me be your girlfriend!

(Hot Guy)
Gag! Gag!
Puke! Puke!
You are so disgusting!

No way!
No Way!
My current gal is perfect!

Yuck! Yuck!
Eww! Eww!
I won’t be your boyfriend!

Man, You must be gay
Must be gay to turn down me!
I'll try a million different ways for you to get with me
I'll go dress up like the b*tch that you like
Her laundry I'll grab
(I'll grab, I'll grab, I'll grab, I'll grab)

Gosh! I love your rear
There's pictures of it on my mirror
This ain't a threat! Get naked with me, Come here!!!
And you don’t worry about whatshername, I'll make her dead
(Make her dead, make her dead, make her dead, make her dead)

You say that I'm a stalker
Dude, I'm a rich punk rocker
Your chick's round like a soccer ball
Can't you tell that she just freaks me out!?

Hey! Hey!
You’re Cute!
I WILL be your girlfriend!

No “If’s”
“And’s”, “But’s”
You're getting a new one!

Shoot! Shoot!
Boom! Boom!
"Say Hi to my Little Friend!!!"

Yikes! Yikes!
Eww! Eww!!!
You think that I'm fright'ning!

Let's date!
Let's date!
Stop being 'Complicated!'

Quite! Quite!
Soon! Soon!
I'm Sk8er Boi's girlfriend!

Hand's done shakin', I'm sucking on your fingers!
You can bang! You can bang this pop singer!
Leave your mother! Cause I’m jealous of women!
You don’t wanna? Well, You will when I’m strippin’!

I'm obsessed to put a ring there on your finger!
Like a scene! A scene from Jerry Springer!
In the covers is where it’s going to sink in!
I’m like Cupid! Just with force, and booze drinkin’!

Hey Babe!
You’re screwed!
I'll soon be your girlfriend!

Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Get ready to have fun!

Hey Babe!
You’re screwed!
I destroyed your girlfriend!


Hey Babe!
Love You!
You’re now my fiancé!

Say! You!
Love! Me!
Don’t keep it a secret!

Hey Babe!
Love You!
Now I’ve got a husband!


Rape! Rape!
Not True!
Because he's my husband

He thinks I'm a demon!

Rape! Rape!
Not True!
I just love my husband!


(Hot Guy)
Crazed Dame!
Ain’t through!
With all of her stalking!

Chick won't let me leave yet!

Crazed Dame!
Is through!
Being just a Stalker Friend
Now wife! My strife!

That’s Life!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - May 03, 2013 - Report this comment insanity never sounded so good! Love this, Matty!
Rex - May 04, 2013 - Report this comment
Why do I get the feeling that there will someday be a Matthias production titled "Stalker Girls from Hell"?
Agrimorfee - May 05, 2013 - Report this comment
I was compelled by the fact this was cited as a redux for the sake of pacing to view both versions of tis parody. Oddly, both have pacing problems here and there throughtout. Mind you, the funny is absolutely there (although given the tempo of the song, hard to follow without a 2nd readalong to the music). In Olympics judging terms, this scores high for artistry but a bit lower on technical terms. A'ight?
Max Power - May 06, 2013 - Report this comment
Nice date, lol.
bobpiecheese - May 07, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I can't remember if I read the original cut or not, but this still had a few pacing problems. Despite that, this was pretty good. It got a little uncomfortable by the last chunk of choruses, though (I don't find rape funny), so I'm giving this 444.
Blaydeman - May 07, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Yeah, I had a lot of trouble pacing this one. It was very patchy. This has a really unnerving vibe to it. It kind of freaks me out. It's like tooooooooooooooooooo crazy. I liked the specific references to Avril though. I thought that was a good touch.

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