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Song Parodies -> "Stalker Friend"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Avril Lavigne

Parody Song Title:

"Stalker Friend"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Have you ever noticed that Avril's a bit too obsessed with this guy?
I whine like a Little Kid!

No Fair!
No Fair!
Your boyfriend’s the hot one!

My boyfriend looks like a pig!

Cry! Cry!
Pout! Pout!
No, I’m not in 6th grade!

No way!
No way!
I’m a college freshman

So why
You ask
“Are you such a Little Kid!?”

I always whine
Cause you’re not mine
I might get vicious!
I Myspace-stalk you while online
Our love’s fictitious!
Think you’re cute, I’ll buy a body bag and lock your girl inside
(Inside, inside, inside, inside, inside…)

I’ll grab a branch outside your window to watch you piss
Cause to me you’re as Charming as that Prince, yes!
Just get that little tramp off you, and give me a try!
(A try, a try, a try, a try, a try…)

You are handsome and clever
So load her and pull the lever
She’s on that catapult to Heaven now
Cause I can tell that she is grossing you out!

Hey Hun!
I’ll behead your girlfriend!

Yeah babe!
Yeah babe!
So you can go take me on!

Hot Stuff!
Let me be your girlfriend!

(Hot Guy)
Gag! Gag!
Puke! Puke!
You are so disgusting!

No way!
No Way!
My current gal is perfect!

Yuck! Yuck!
Eww! Eww!
I won’t be your boyfriend!

Man, You must be gay
Must be gay to turn down me!
I try a million different ways for you to get with me
I’ll look just like that b*tch you like, cause you enjoy “those” women!
(Those women, those women, those women…)

Gosh! I love your rear; I have pictures of it on my mirror
So I’ll get you naked by the end of the year
And you don’t worry about whatshername, cause she’s dead!
(Cause she’s dead, cause she’s dead, cause she’s dead…)

Though you say I’m like a stalker
Your girlfriend will need a walker
And tongue, she’s no big talker now
So she had better not go leave her house!

Hey! Hey!
You’re Cute!
I WILL be your girlfriend!

No “If’s”
“And’s”, “But’s”
I’m being the new one!

Hey! Hey!
You’re Cute!
You won’t miss your girlfriend

I’ll watch!
You screw!
You’re slutty damn girlfriend

It’s strange!
It’s strange!
You’re body’s so perfect!

I’m not!
Making me your girlfriend!

Done shaking hands, I’m sucking on your fingers!
You can bet! You can bet I’ve got rubbers!
Leave your mother! Cause I’m jealous of women!
You don’t wanna? Well, You will when I’m strippin’!

In a second I’ll have a ring on your finger!
Cause I can when you down all that liquor!
In the covers is where it’s going to sink in!
I’m like Cupid! Just with force, and booze drinkin’!

Hey Babe!
You’re screwed!
I am now your girlfriend

Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
Whatchu gonna do now?

Hey Babe!
You’re screwed!
Can’t escape your girlfriend!

Hey Dave!
Love You!
You’re now my fiancé!

Say! You!
Love! Me!
Don’t keep it a secret!

Hey Dave!
Love You!
Now I’ve got a husband!

Rape! Rape!
Not True!
Because I’m your girlfriend!

You’ll change!
You’ll change!
You can’t stop our true love!

Rape! Rape!
Not True!
I really love my boyfriend!

(Hot Guy)
Crazed Dame!
Ain’t through!
Planning for her wedding!

Big Day!
Big Day!
Hiring a Priestess

Crazed Dame!
Is through!
Being just a Stalker Friend
Now wife! My strife!

That’s Life!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   4
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Typo, that should have been "Your body's" not "You're body's"... I haven't made that mistake since like 6th grade
Below Average Dave - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Nice job hitting a richly deserving target, and that typo--we all do that (spell checker doesn't catch the small stuff) The good thing is it still sounds right:) 5's buddy!
Below Average Dave - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh yeah. . .and please keep her away from me. . .I caught that too ;)
Max Power - July 16, 2008 - Report this comment
That Hooter's girl is crazy
Agrimorfee - September 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Pacing shook me up in trying to enjoy the parody (not because this OS sucks monkeyballs!). That was difficult work on that chorus...good job in variations and keeping the story going.
Below Average Dave - October 03, 2010 - Report this comment
The pacing was not 100% here, I just hope the Dave this woman is obsessed with isn't me, I can't handle another stalker, and this one is worse than either of the two I've had. . .stalkers are weird
Christie Marie M - October 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Incredible on how this stalker girl can get a guy to love her! Now that poor guy is trapped for life! :( Great parody, Matt! Kind of reminds me of "Misery" in a way. Great job and 5's!
Christie Marie M - October 05, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC S/T) Love those obsessed-lover based parodies!
Mark Scotti - October 06, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC) Don't "look over your shoulder", but this was a GREAT idea!!
Guy - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment

Matt - This kind of reminds me of the KRML radio disc jockey. played by Clint Eastwood in the movie "Play Misty For Me". 'Cept the female stalker, Evelyn Draper doesn't get the man to fall for her. This parody really reminds me of that movie in a strange kind of way. Stalking is some scary stuff. I'm "stocking" your vote counter with three fives. Nice job with some tough OS.
Abbott Skelding - October 11, 2010 - Report this comment
ABC (ST): Great job! This was really funny and I was actually laughing out loud in some this round is gonna be hard! lol
bobpiecheese - October 15, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC5) Holy crap, this girl's a little bit mentally unhinged. Let's hope she never watches Misery, that might give her some ideas. 555 for you!
Andria - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
(ABC S & T) Good one... I was thinking that the Dave in this was B.A. Dave too. I hope not, but "Dave" is a name used in commercials and movies like "Bob" was 20 years ago. Definitely a headcase here, and have some fives.

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