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Song Parodies -> "Facelift"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Avril Lavigne

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Ms. Lavigne crashed onto the 'Pop' scene in a huge way a few years ago at age 16. She seems like a nice kid, I hope she uses and cultivates her talents and grows as a writer so she doesn't have to play the 'Ho' and shake her ass just to stay in the business. It's possible...BTW - in my opinion this OS is actually a pretty good piece of writing considering she was only 16 at the, "The Matrix" writing team did not write this one.
My agent called to warn me
"This is the case
you are no longer sixteen
showing signs of age
and you're getting fatter
getting way too wide
I think it's time for you to diet

A real good plastic surgeon
can make lines disappear
and get rid of those 'crows feet'
and shorten those big ears
Botox injections
yes, then your lips will puff
Hmmm...enlarge that bust

'Cause looking old - you can't afford
a face-lift - you must do
Who will know?
Then some teeth white-ning
make bright your smile
A face-lift you must do
Have that skin pulled tight...

Yeah, yeah

You need to remain slender
and not gain any weight
then starve yourself
the pounds will all melt right away
Breasts, maybe you'll pad
No, do them, too
Chin and cheeks
to tuck and nip
that loose skin"

"Nobody told me I'd have to 'whore' "
Get naked, then you'll do
TV shows
"When they're through with me
I'll have no pride
My soul shakes, heart pounding
I've sold all my rights"
(get naked)

those tits, yeah
show those tits, ho'
(get naked)
yeah, hey, yeah,
show some mo', ho'
yeah, hey, yeah
(show mo')
Your agent - reminds you
"Babe, show more"

They will all prey upon you
nowhere to hide
they're gonna, yes, gonna
use and screw you...
(take you, baby, for one rough ride)
They're gonna bleed you...
they sure will, yeah

They'll degrade - then discard you
"Bye-bye" your pride
You'll get used and abused, baby...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Very talented singer and very good parody. Makes me glad that I don't have to do that stuff. 5's
Paul Robinson - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Pat, replies in order: (1) Yup (2) Thanks (3) Me too...(an experiment in tells me it's not gonna work, though ~ ~ ~
Rick C - July 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, Paul! I saw her live once and, both she and the band were excellent. Eventually talent is passed over if they no longer look good. Look what happened with Heart. What happened to the days when Mama Cass could be a star?
Paul Robinson - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, I guess that accounts for the Rolling Stones, TALENT...yeah, guess so...But seriously, true, there is no way to sell 10 million+ albums continually without looks...but I believe it is possible to have a solid career IF the person is both a writer/performer and is able to grow and write songs that reflect that growth...they can develop a loyal fan base that can make for a long, respectable career in the biz...maybe sell 1/2 million or thereabouts for most albums...not that bad...but it's certainly not a cinch or particularly easy...Thanks for stopping in ~ ~ ~

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