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Song Parodies -> "Pieces of Meat"
Original Song Title:
"Pieces of Me"
Original Performer:
Ashlee Simpson
Parody Song Title:
"Pieces of Meat"
Parody Written by:
Agrimorfee
The Lyrics
On a Monday, you go shopping
All day I am chopping
Cut pork loins and rare beef
Then the bell rings, I hear you
You want Angus for your beef stew
Five-pound bag for $8.03!
Call, for you I cut it fast
Then it's sealed in plastic wrap
I hope it lasts
Ohhhhhh
Try some liver or beef kidney
Try my sausage or my veal
For you I give great deals
Ohhhhhh
I am now the world's best butcher
I really impress myself
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
Yeah it's bloody and smelly
But I was blessed with this job, yes
I have no worry and no care
Make you hungry, they glisten
And the hot dogs, I'm pushin'
Kosher Grade A beef in there
Call us now we'll make it fast
Oh the shiskabob's a smash
What will you have?
Ohhh
No this ain't no grocery
There's no produce on my wheel
And now I click my heels
Ohhh
Like my dad, I am a butcher
I say, "Butcher, know thyself"
My life, now can't you tell?
I sell pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
How do you do?
And isn't it a lovely day?
Glad you could see us!
There's a big grin on my face
I'm selling tripe and duck today
Yeah
Now on Friday I stop chopping
On Sunday, I go hunting
With Bud and Lars
What a relief!
Ohhhh
Try my ham or smoked turkey
I can get you such a deal
For all your fancy meals
Ohhh
I'm the city's top-class butcher
Meat is so good for your health
Dr. Atkins was so swell
Ohhhh
Please ring my service bell
Ohhhh
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
Pieces, pieces, pieces of meat.
All day I am chopping
Cut pork loins and rare beef
Then the bell rings, I hear you
You want Angus for your beef stew
Five-pound bag for $8.03!
Call, for you I cut it fast
Then it's sealed in plastic wrap
I hope it lasts
Ohhhhhh
Try some liver or beef kidney
Try my sausage or my veal
For you I give great deals
Ohhhhhh
I am now the world's best butcher
I really impress myself
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
Yeah it's bloody and smelly
But I was blessed with this job, yes
I have no worry and no care
Make you hungry, they glisten
And the hot dogs, I'm pushin'
Kosher Grade A beef in there
Call us now we'll make it fast
Oh the shiskabob's a smash
What will you have?
Ohhh
No this ain't no grocery
There's no produce on my wheel
And now I click my heels
Ohhh
Like my dad, I am a butcher
I say, "Butcher, know thyself"
My life, now can't you tell?
I sell pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
How do you do?
And isn't it a lovely day?
Glad you could see us!
There's a big grin on my face
I'm selling tripe and duck today
Yeah
Now on Friday I stop chopping
On Sunday, I go hunting
With Bud and Lars
What a relief!
Ohhhh
Try my ham or smoked turkey
I can get you such a deal
For all your fancy meals
Ohhh
I'm the city's top-class butcher
Meat is so good for your health
Dr. Atkins was so swell
Ohhhh
Please ring my service bell
Ohhhh
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
Pieces, pieces, pieces of meat.
Copyright 2005, Agrimorfee. Let the backlashes or puns begin.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 13 | 14 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
as if to prove our Decade Police synchronicity was no fluke, Agri, today we have Dr Atkins synchronicity - spooky! - 555
If you can sell me a 5lb bag of meat for $8.03 I'd like to meat you.5s.
R.A: To paraphrase the Firesign Theater: "But it's really good meat, Mrs. Preske!"
Good one, Agri. How about some nice, trim fives?
I like it, nice parody, I love the butcher parodies...555
I can see that you really enjoy meat but I don't think you know this song that well.
As somebody who loves meat as much as I do, I must give you three fives for this skillful parody. The fact that TOS is a guilty pleasure of mine only helps matters.
"Butcher, know thyself" .... ground-round-profound!
Rebecca: I have only heard the song once before, but blame any inconsistency on www.letssingit.com/ ashlee-simpson-pieces-of-me-fnd33m3.html , the source I used for the lyrics.
[SOTM] I'll give you 555 for the lot ; )
(SOTM) DKTOS
(SOTM) Very tasteful parody.
SOTM: Subtle change to the title made me chuckle. Nice job!
(SOTM) Bleaah! Bone appetit. "When you need to baste, just grab a meat cleaver.."
SOTM - The only pun I can come up with is "What a sell out!", but you're probably the least deserving of such a labeling of all the writers here so I'll just order som polar bear beef and Klingon Gagh kebab to go instead. :-)
(SOTM) See above
(SOTM) Already voted, commented. See above
(SOTM) I work in a meat room -- it sucks, but this parody doesn't. :)
(SOTM) See above!
(SOTM) yes, Dr Atkins was the patron saint of butchers, Agri - funny stuff
SOTM--totally funny, Agri...I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the OS...and I love meat...=)
(SOTM) Hmmmmm... meat... hmmmmmmmm... a delicious parody :-)
DKTOS (or even who Ashlee(?) Simpson is), but this is a fairly tasty parody
(SOTM) We now know you just mime cutting the meat. Nice work, you covered the topic thoroughly... 'well done'!
Referring to the first comment on this parody: what does decade poilce synchronicity refer to?
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