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Song Parodies -> "Pieces of Meat"

Original Song Title:

"Pieces of Me"

Original Performer:

Ashlee Simpson

Parody Song Title:

"Pieces of Meat"

Parody Written by:

Agrimorfee

The Lyrics

On a Monday, you go shopping
All day I am chopping
Cut pork loins and rare beef
Then the bell rings, I hear you
You want Angus for your beef stew
Five-pound bag for $8.03!

Call, for you I cut it fast
Then it's sealed in plastic wrap
I hope it lasts
Ohhhhhh
Try some liver or beef kidney
Try my sausage or my veal
For you I give great deals
Ohhhhhh
I am now the world's best butcher
I really impress myself
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat

Yeah it's bloody and smelly
But I was blessed with this job, yes
I have no worry and no care

Make you hungry, they glisten
And the hot dogs, I'm pushin'
Kosher Grade A beef in there

Call us now we'll make it fast
Oh the shiskabob's a smash
What will you have?
Ohhh
No this ain't no grocery
There's no produce on my wheel
And now I click my heels
Ohhh
Like my dad, I am a butcher
I say, "Butcher, know thyself"
My life, now can't you tell?
I sell pieces, pieces, pieces of meat

How do you do?
And isn't it a lovely day?
Glad you could see us!
There's a big grin on my face
I'm selling tripe and duck today
Yeah

Now on Friday I stop chopping
On Sunday, I go hunting
With Bud and Lars
What a relief!

Ohhhh
Try my ham or smoked turkey
I can get you such a deal
For all your fancy meals
Ohhh
I'm the city's top-class butcher
Meat is so good for your health
Dr. Atkins was so swell
Ohhhh
Please ring my service bell
Ohhhh
I love how I can sell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of meat
Pieces, pieces, pieces of meat.
Copyright 2005, Agrimorfee. Let the backlashes or puns begin.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   14
 13
 14
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stuart McArthur - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
as if to prove our Decade Police synchronicity was no fluke, Agri, today we have Dr Atkins synchronicity - spooky! - 555
Red Ant - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
If you can sell me a 5lb bag of meat for $8.03 I'd like to meat you.5s.
Agrimorfee - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
R.A: To paraphrase the Firesign Theater: "But it's really good meat, Mrs. Preske!"
Rick C - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one, Agri. How about some nice, trim fives?
Dominic L. - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I like it, nice parody, I love the butcher parodies...555
Rebecca Gale - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
I can see that you really enjoy meat but I don't think you know this song that well.
Olvan The Terrible - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
As somebody who loves meat as much as I do, I must give you three fives for this skillful parody. The fact that TOS is a guilty pleasure of mine only helps matters.
Johnny D - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
"Butcher, know thyself" .... ground-round-profound!
Agrimorfee - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Rebecca: I have only heard the song once before, but blame any inconsistency on www.letssingit.com/ ashlee-simpson-pieces-of-me-fnd33m3.html , the source I used for the lyrics.
Dumb Ass Kid - August 05, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] I'll give you 555 for the lot ; )
Adagio - August 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS
Scathe - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very tasteful parody.
Jeff Reuben - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM: Subtle change to the title made me chuckle. Nice job!
Tim Mayfield - August 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bleaah! Bone appetit. "When you need to baste, just grab a meat cleaver.."
Peter Andersson - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - The only pun I can come up with is "What a sell out!", but you're probably the least deserving of such a labeling of all the writers here so I'll just order som polar bear beef and Klingon Gagh kebab to go instead. :-)
Johnny D - August 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above
Rick C - August 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already voted, commented. See above
Melhi - August 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I work in a meat room -- it sucks, but this parody doesn't. :)
Red Ant - August 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Stuart McArthur - August 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) yes, Dr Atkins was the patron saint of butchers, Agri - funny stuff
Arwen - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--totally funny, Agri...I'm not ashamed to admit that I love the OS...and I love meat...=)
Adam Eccleshall - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmmmmm... meat... hmmmmmmmm... a delicious parody :-)
Phil Alexander - August 28, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS (or even who Ashlee(?) Simpson is), but this is a fairly tasty parody
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) We now know you just mime cutting the meat. Nice work, you covered the topic thoroughly... 'well done'!
huh? - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Referring to the first comment on this parody: what does decade poilce synchronicity refer to?

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