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Song Parodies -> "I'll Slice This Knot Through"

Original Song Title:

"If I Ain't Got You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Alicia Keys

Parody Song Title:

"I'll Slice This Knot Through"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sometimes adventuring presents you with mind-bending puzzles that will have your brain working for days on end trying to find the one clue therein...this dude prefers a more direct approach.
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, oh-oh-oh-oh
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

Some people like to solve problems
Some people like to work their brai-ai-ains
Some people can sit for ho-o-u-urs, yeah-eah-eah-eah
Some people are immune to migrai-aines
Some people are fans of puzz-l-i-in' things
Things tha-a-at make the-em thi-i-ink
For me, though? It's a bore
A brain-numbi-in' chore
I-I cut to the chase a little

No, I don't waste time at a-all
Punch riddle-askers in the ba-alls
I'll get u-us throu-ough, buddy
I'll slice this kno-ot throu-ough, buddy
This knot's a metaphor for shi-it
Could say that it's Gordia-an
Through these puzzles, I'll muscle
I'll slice this knot throu-ou-ough, yeah-eah-eah

Some people say I'm barbaric
To counter the sphinx with a-a thu-u-u-u-ump
Some people think that I'm just jo-o-o-o-o-oki-i-i-i-in'
When I solve the maze by bashin' the wa-alls i-in
Not in the mood for such mindless cha-atter
Ri-iddles ju-ust ain't for me-e-e
Not my job to care
You may say tha-at it's unfai-ai-air
I-I-It's cheap

"That's not the point at a-all
Man, is your brain really that sma-all?"
What, no "tha-ank you-ou, buddy"?
I sliced that fo-or you-ou, buddy
Cause we don't have time for thi-ings
Like chess or futzin' with stri-ings
Thought someone should do somethin'
And slice this knot throu-ou-ough, throu-ou-ough, throu-ough
You may be quite appa-alled
But me? I'm just havin' a ba-all
Blitzin' ri-ight throu-ough, buddy
Just slicin' knots throu-ough, bu-uddy-y
Not mentally rewardi-in'?
So what? Success, it still bri-ings
Don't gotta think 'bout nothin'
When slicin' knots throu-ou-ough
Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah

So this one tells truth, this one lie-ies, see
Oh-oh, wooh-ooh
I'll break one's arm and i-if he-e denie-ies that I di-id
Then he's not the truth-teller, you see-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   2
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 4   1
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 5   4
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