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Song Parodies -> "I Ain't Got Credit"

Original Song Title:

"If I Ain't Got You"

Original Performer:

Alicia Keys

Parody Song Title:

"I Ain't Got Credit"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at as always, thanks for listening/reading.


Playing Lotto, hope for millions
Sometimes my mind is in dismay
'Cause in this life, rich get richer
I'd just like to have a place to stay

Everyone looks at my credit and thinks
it defines what I'll do with them
and I know that report
has a low score
But it's just a number you all

Some people have 12 cars
But I just
Have feet and that's all
Can't get nowhere fast
Using the bus pass

Some people have everything
I just
Want winter clothing
But the rich don't pay nothing
We all know it's true

I cannot climb up the mountain
I can't afford no New York
Some people love to be out posing
I could pose just as well as they can

Some people eat out at the "Red Lobster"
I don't see how that can be
Cause I can't afford no "Long John Silvers"
I won't waste my money

Some people spend so much
But I won't
Cause I'm in a crunch
I ripped my pants baby
I need new socks baby

Some point to economy
But it sucked
Since I turned 18
Since then kept tumbling
Through my 20s too, too, too

I can't afford Great Clips
or Starbucks
or to repair my hips
I'm broke as you baby
I love Ramen baby

Some people get paid to sing
But I'd just
Like to break even
Someone said cash means nothing
That dude smoked glue


Ooh, no won't buy you Gucci baby


Oh, no job in this whole dang world
Will pay me a thing
I don't have a penny
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, all rights reserved

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   14

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

HalloQueen - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir BAD, don't despair ! Things are looking up: paid $ 3.09/gal for gas this morning!
Matthias - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Ramen is only like 25 cents per packet, trust me I know, I lived off that crap for about a week...
Jack Wilson - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Better than Free Credit, 5s
Below Average Dave - October 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks HalloQueen, Matthias and Jack Wilson:)

HQ: In Tampa it's down to 2.49 and in Virginia I saw one gas station at 2.06--that's down $1.50 from the same two areas less than a month's good news.

Matty: 25 cents? You are over-paying, I get it for 13 cents :) I've live off of it for long periods of time when work gets light.

That site is terrible. . .and it lies, they take their time to remove you so that you get charged their fee anyway, and they ask about something that's on my credit report to sign up sometimes, and they say my answer is wrong--on my own credit report.
Matthias - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
J-Lo's love doesn't cost a thing back in the day, but today if she did that song she might sing, "My love is kinda cheap, but I need to break even somehow, so I would like it if you paid for it, but whatever it's your choice" (Or something like that). You have a lot of parodies about being broke... But not nearly as many as you have about food, although it appears that broke humor is your newest fad.
Agrimorfee - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I think you are putting a lot of yourself into these recent parodies. This one in particular hits so close, it loses the humor factor where there I think there could be more. But what's that old saying: "I laughed to stop all the crying". 545
Jason - November 13, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Credit is where credit is due. I liked it. Well done.
Guy - November 16, 2008 - Report this comment
This had everything but the "credits". I'll credit you with three 5's and then you can enjoy a treat at LJS house of fish and even come away with change.
EmiLoca - November 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) God, Dave, I hope your parodies aren't ALL autobiographical! ;-) Well done here!
Max Power - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
It ain't cheap, 555 bucks and a free credit report
Peter Andersson - November 24, 2008 - Report this comment
The security code says 288, I guess the recession has hit the letter part of that function already...
Gianni Parmesiani - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Appreciated the references to Red Lobster and Ramen. These are tough times, my friends, but we shall endeavor to persevere. Good work.
LadyT-Day - November 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir B+A+D, I paid $2.09/gal this AM for gas! What sweet relief . . . I feel like celebrating: gobble gobble!
bobpiecheese - November 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The petrol price has been going down recently in Aussie. It's even gone under the $1 mark. Not sure how the exchange rate would work for US dollars. Anyways, this was great work as usual BAD. $555 for you!
Glen S - November 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I read this a while ago, but some personal stuff was going on in the background of my house that made it impossible to weigh in at the time. Well done, I'll give you some change for this one, and I'm happy that your situation has improved recently.
Christie Marie M - December 02, 2008 - Report this comment
This should have been a Free Credit Report theme. Awesome parody you wrote, like always, Dave! 555!!!

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