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Song Parodies -> "I Have No Clue"

Original Song Title:

"If I Had You"

Original Performer:

Adam Lambert

Parody Song Title:

"I Have No Clue"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

I'm at and Please don't ask how I got an A in College Algebra, or how I currently have the same grade in Statistics, cause I have no clue. . .just kidding, but it can be unbelievably weird looking when you first look at the stuff.
So my laptop is on
Got a tight calculator
And I'm working functions on a white sheet of paper
But I keep getting stuck can't arrive at the answer
What I need for this class is some help

First there's curved lines then a plus sign
X over nine, Raise it 6 times
It's a function, what's the junction?, cannot find it

man I have no clue!
X plus Y plus Z don't equally anything. . .
Lord I have no clue
Simplify, division by a chicken wing???
I'm so lost dude!
What's the asymptote, and is it vertically?
yeah, I have no clue
clue-c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue
I have no clue

logarithms of A raised to pie eyes are rolling
What's the mode, deviation, add a ten to the function
Cannot help but feel dumb as I come up with something
What they need in this math is a life

One more plus sign, and a straight line
Eyes have bright shines, as we all whine
Sounds like mumbles what they rumble, I don't get it

Cause I have no clue
Standard Deviations sound like Greek to me
Yes I have no clue
don't get why I must know 'bout probabilities
I have no clue
Algebra, Statistics, Trigonometry
Dude, I have no clue
clue-c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue
I have no . . .

The roots just blow my mind
The graphs don't look good
Complex numbers are so unkind, yeah
The first quartile range, What is two times i
Cause this don't mean a thing to me

binomial of the function is scaring me
Multiply by 2. . .
Then figure out the interval between two means
What's the square root
Sample distributions for the measuring
Man I am lost dude
Dude, d-d-d-d-dude d-d-d-d-dude d-d-d-d-dude
I am lost dude

Quadratic equations I will never need
They seem so rude
At least I sort of get the inequalities
(so inequalities are cool)
I have no clue, factoring notations to the tenth degree
(What the hell does that mean dude)
Well I have no clue
clue-c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue c-c-c-c-clue
I have no
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All Rights Reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
I sucked at math so I could really relate to this one. I loved all of the in humor on his one which is kind of weird because math is something I would never expect to have in humor because it's such a boring and annoying as all hell class. But this was good and really relates to my life.
Mark Scotti - May 12, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I "calculate" you getting high marks for this one, Dave!
agrimorfee - May 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Only Tom Lehrer could make funnier songs abour math. Where x=Smart and y=funny, x+y=555. This took me back to the angst-filled afternoons of my highschool algebra and geometry classes.
Glen S - May 16, 2011 - Report this comment
Massive kudos for the sheer amount and complexity of the mathematical terms in this. Well done, Dave. And good to see you.
Abbott Skedling - May 19, 2011 - Report this comment
ABC: Oh, the great things about being a graphic design major, no more math classes! haha. Really great stuff here Dave and I love how you borrowed the "doesn't mean a thing to me" line from the original song, nice work!
Blaydeman - May 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Math+Adam Lambert Song+Below Average Dave= FRIKIN HILARIOUS! 555
D-Mon - May 21, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) oh i hate math! it's my least faorite subject, but I really enjoyed this parody. i didn't think it was possible to make math funny, but you did, good work!
bobpiecheese - May 24, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) I recognised some of the math terms in this parody...can't remember what they mean, but hey, that's math for ya. If you're not looking to be in a field where it's used, you're not gonna remember diddly. That said, perfect pacing, very funny stuff here, 555!
Matthias - September 27, 2011 - Report this comment
An extremely nerdy parody here. Except nerds know a lot about Math, Well I guess that's not true because I'm a nerd and I too have no clue.
Porfle Popnecker - September 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Great parody, but I'm sure glad we're not going to be tested on it!
Blaydeman - October 03, 2011 - Report this comment
(ABC) Below Average Dave is an exponetially increasing function... of funny! Still awesome the second time around.
Blaydeman - October 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Not ABC, Artistry. My bad.
Rex - October 09, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Loved it! Your talent just keeps multiplying.
bobpiecheese - October 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) see above!

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