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Song Parodies -> "Hell No Technology"

Original Song Title:

"Ayo Technology"

Original Performer:

50 Cent

Parody Song Title:

"Hell No Technology"

Parody Written by:

Blaydeman

The Lyrics

ft. Justin Timberlake. Some people just suck with computers.
Intro: Somethin’ dreadful
So regrettable
Techno things (things)
Just stink (stink)
On the brink (brink)
Need drinks (drinks)
I, I, I’m bawlin’
I wanna kick this laptop
Apallin’
Can’t get “Yeah” to stop
I’m callin’
Geek Squad break it down
I’m bawlin’
With a techno frown

Verse 1: It ain’t workin’ now, it shorts and sparks
It makes this sound, right when it starts
It winds and grinds, and it loses parts
It’s takin’ too long, to watch Paul Blart
My money, money, it’s takin’, takin’
Makes my head hurt, it’s achin’, achin’
Make me wanna crush it, make me wanna smash it
Have me bustin’ my bank, go crazy, trash it
Please don’t stop! Load it, load it!
The way it’s freezin’ make me start implodin’
Think it’s bent on crashin’ from the way it’s goin’
Got my files mixed up, cuz of bad encodin’
Done so much more to abuse me
Mac knows just how to sell to seduce me
It’s gone save the wrong thing and scrap the wrong doc
My disc’s stuck in there, and it just won’t come out
It’s always bugging
When I need it, it’s freezin’
Like Eskimos, lost info, I show you what I’m meaning
On the online, all the time,
The porn pop-ups flashin’ about ten times
It’s gone give me an ulcer
That is unhealthy

Hook: Maybe it’s a new age, don’t like this new craze
We ain’t together, we just talk online in this phase
My Mac’s got my screen all frozen
Electronics were what was chosen
And I must say that I’m scared!

Chorus: It’s got me saying
Hell no! I suck at using technology
Why do I keep getting a blue screen?
Hell no! I suck at using technology
I can’t respond to all these tweets!

Oo, I’m logged out
Uh, uh, what’s logged out?
Oo, I’m logged out
So, can’t get on my computer
Oo, I’m logged out
Uh, uh, what’s logged out?
Oo, I’m logged out
So, can’t get on my computer

The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you

Verse 2: Got a spam bomb, that fills my screen
The news that’s poppin’ up, is about Charlie Sheen
Make my brain swollen, makes me feel green
With some other things, that just are obscene
On the Internet, accrue some debt
The things I get, in sets, Learn To Cook, Twilight books
Amazon is the best!
When I’m ready to type, and ready to scroll
I’ll be shouting, “Bitch!” when a key goes
What should I do? Try glue, the key’s slow
Now that that key, just doesn’t press or glow
I type and type, tap the key, press it down (down, down)
But it won’t write, and I gripe, so I throw it on the ground
Strange passwords, were my ruse, damn I forgot which to choose
This things got me thinkin’ about all the codes I used to use
Let’s get to shopping, shorty we can shop where we sit
My accounts are on lock cuz I can’t pay it
Someone please help me!

Hook: All thanks to this new age, I feel I’m encaged
Hate my computer, maybe it’s the source of my rage
My Mac’s got me spending crazy
Online games make me really lazy
I feel I’m techno impaired!

Chorus: It’s got me saying
Hell no! I suck at using technology
Why do I keep getting viruses?
Hell no! I suck at using technology
It’s giving me red irises!

Oo, I crashed it!
Uh, uh, I crashed it!
Oo, I crashed it!
So, I gotta get a new one!
Oo, I crashed it!
Uh, uh, I crashed it!
Oo, I crashed it!
So, I gotta get a new one!

The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
The bugs, the stress
It’s got me furious, let me tell you
April 15, 2012. Please rate and COMMENT! :)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - April 18, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't really suck at using technology... Technology just sucks at belonging to me. My computer probably has a million bugs and I can't get the Anti-Virus protection I need to fix it so I'm probably going to have to reboot it soon (so this parody came out just about the right time for me)
Porfle Popnecker - April 20, 2012 - Report this comment
This is one of the more fun rap parodies that I've read.
Mark Scotti - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) I Lmfyeyshx...Danm fawlty kybrd....LOL
Agrimorfee - April 24, 2012 - Report this comment
I loved this, it is like the flipside to All About The Pentiums or White & Nerdy. What makes it great were those verses (wow, the pacing spot on!) along the extra effort in changing choruses and repeated lyrics. And where you were using the same words from the OS they were perfectly in context with the parody concept and attitude. You are really growing as a writer with this, I am not kidding.
bobpiecheese - April 27, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) I've lost the files? I've lost all the files? I've wiped the Internet?! I don't evene have a modem! Look up Eddie Izzard's Technology bit from his Glorious show, this parody reminded me of that. And trust me, anything that can call to mind the immense hilarity of Eddie Izzard is doing something right. Great parody here all around, 555!
D-Mon - May 01, 2012 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wow, bro! This one was strong! The pacing was perfect and you were able to deliver the funny all the way throughout (that's hard to do with rap). Awesome job! 555 computer repairs for you!
Abbott Skelding - May 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Nice work! I never heard the OS before but I like the title switch and the pacing was excellent! Great job here!
Meriadoc - November 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Good job rhyming viruses and irises. :)
brightCAP - November 07, 2012 - Report this comment
My favorite line is "Strange passwords, were my ruse, damn I forgot which to choose"

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