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Song Parodies -> "K.O.B.E.(Kobe Bryant)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

50 Cent

Parody Song Title:

"K.O.B.E.(Kobe Bryant)"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

I would guess that if Kobe could rap he might be saying this right about now.
I don't know what you heard about me
But I got charged for a class 3 felony
I had sex with a girl that was 19
And my my friends all call me K.O.B.E
I don't know what you heard about me
But I got charged for a class 3 felony
I had sex with a girl that was 19
And my my friends all call me K.O.B.E

Now shorty gave me a rub, I gave her some dollars
I'm in the NBA so I told her no choice, she gotta
TLC is what I'm needin so go on give it mama
Just give me my fantasies and I'll send you to the Bahamas
So now I might go to jail now, man and I don't wanna
They'll tear my ass up and be callin me mama
I sat around all day just sittin,thinkin 'bout her
I couldn't even keep the secret from my taxi driver
She liked my smile, she liked my style, she liked the way I talked
I went with Brandy, yeah I've been around the block
My reputations 'bout as clean as my shaven head
Who will believe that I took this teenager to my bed
It might be worse if I had cornrows up on my head
Fans won't attack but my sponsors may be turnin red
Look girl, it's simple, you love me
You ain't going to go and sue the K.O.B.E


I'm making money you see, got my own new Nike's
I'm the one and only, I'm the K.O.B.E
Got commercials on tv, eating fries from Mickey D's
No afro no more but I'm K.O.B.E
Drink a Sprite with me if you're curious to see
How it feels to be the K.O.B.E
Come get some wins with me, you might be on tv
Come on and shoot some 3's with the K.O.B.E
Girl I can buy you champagne, I can buy it all
Just don't tell DA, just don't say nothing at all
You could screw my carrer girl, I won't be playin ball
Come out of jail and show you new tricks I could do with balls
I didn't mean do to you up and knock you on the jaw
How could I know they could hear us on the other side of the wall
Now I got a court date set for August 6th
All men have sined so let me off chick


I told you dudes before, I play by the rules
I got a benz, some gems, and some pools
All I did was ask the girl up to my room
We both said yes, it was mutual between us two
Contacting all my dealers, why my jersey's are cheaper?
When my shoes come out they come in orange with an ankle beeper
Man lawsuits come and go, every famous person knows
My new jersey's coming as a jumpsuit don't you know
Eagle County done got me pleading in the streets
Back in the news now, with my wife at the ESPY's
Yeah I might be rich but Mark Hulbert might want me dead
"Without Reasonable Doubt" are the words that he said
No out of pocket cash she wants me on the bench
Not in the NBA but in a court room on August 6th
This making me sick, it's like I'm shootin bricks
Court date now I'm sunk, $#it,chick


Now in LA they say your innocent until proven guilty
But In Colorado they say if you're black you're trapped
They say I write preety good but with a song like this I'm the greatest

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   1
 3   2
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason. - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I love this parody. I heard it on the radio the other day, but can't find where to download it. I've looked everywhere!
custel - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
matt im tryin
BLO-TOWN - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
Whoa where did u here my song? Was it my exact lyrics b/c I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and did record anything for a radio station. I'm a be really pissed if some radio station stole my song.
Phat-Tony - August 11, 2003 - Report this comment
This is great!! You should be pissed off if someone recorded your lyrics. Everyone is making money off of this situation; sue the bastards and get yours. - August 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Yo. Email me at my name. Anyways. I heard this exact song, well it had to be. I remember the Class 3 Felony etc parts. It was either 96.3 FM in Chicago 92.3 FM in Chicago aka Power 92.3 Kiss 103.5 FM Kiss FM It was one of those three. Not sure if it was the EXACT lyrics, but it sounded soooooo damn close. I wanted to get this song so bad but it's not anywhere. But I did hear it on the radio.
jackal - August 14, 2003 - Report this comment look at the bottom of the page...not you lyrics but the same idea using P.I.M.P.
ray - September 26, 2003 - Report this comment
its stupid
DJ 2CR - October 08, 2003 - Report this comment
blo-twon you have a mp3 of this song?
BLO-TOWN - October 09, 2003 - Report this comment
nope, sorry bro
Adagio - July 14, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Really good, even though I DKTOS.
Johnny D - July 16, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Whoah --- great internal pacing!
John Jenkins - July 17, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS either, but Kobe is an appropriate parody target and this parody gets in a lot of good shots.
martha - July 18, 2004 - Report this comment
had to check out the story behind this one it doesn't seem to have the media here and I am still not too sure wha the evidence is against him on the charge ...but... a carefully crafted and paced rap very well
go kings - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
kobe SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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