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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> The Police

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


Every Breath You Take: The Classics album at Amazon.com
The Police's, "Canary In A Coalmine"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Put Mary in a coalmine.
The Real Lyrics:
Canary in a coalmine
The Story: This song was playing for background music in an exercise class. The instructor later asked, "Why does he want to put Mary in a coalmine?" - Submitted by: Joe Doyle
The Police's, "Darkness"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I can dream up ceilings when I'm sitting in my seat
I don't see any floors 'til I get to my feet.
The Real Lyrics:
I can dream up schemes when I'm sitting in my seat
I don't see any flaws 'til I get to my feet.
The Story: I truly thought these were the actual lyrics for awhile. The word 'flaws' sounded like 'floors' and created the ceiling association. - Submitted by: Al
The Police's, "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da"
The Misheard Lyrics:
A-goo goo goo, a-ga ga ga
Is all I want to say to you
A-goo goo goo, a-ga ga ga
The innocence will pull me through
A-goo goo goo, a-ga ga ga
Is all I want to say to you
A-goo goo goo, a-ga ga ga
The meaningless and all that's through
The Real Lyrics:
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true
The Story: I really liked the song and wanted to find the lyrics, but Google searching "goo goo goo ga ga ga song Police" didn't work out at all. - Submitted by: Kate Walk
The Police's, "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Ge Goo Goo Goo
Ge Ga Ga Ga
The Real Lyrics:
De Do Do Do
De Da Da Da
The Story: When this song was first heard on the radio in the 80s, my sister told me it was about babies. It made sense at the time, because the 'de do do do...' lyric sounded like the sound of a baby in its crib. Then I looked at the rest of the lyrics and was shocked that the word 'rapes' would be in the same song as normal baby talk. - Submitted by: newave
The Police's, "Dead End Job"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Don't want no teenager.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't want no dead-end job.
The Story: My girlfriend, who was 19 at the time, misheard this one while we were in the car. - Submitted by: Dale
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
(First Verse)
Your teacher the subject of school girl friend to see
She wants me so broadly knows what she want to be
Inside there, these no you, the school that what can teach
But Marcin, she so closer, the school is have to teach
(Second verse)
How can I, so jealous, you know how that could get
Sometimes this smart so easy to clip that she short had
Some section, the station, so badly make him cry
The bus stop, she's waiting, he's carries will mend cry
Third verse)
Loose talking, the class room so hard make try and try
Strong washing, the start coach, be acting season flag
Is no use, he's sees shock, he's start from sicking cup
Just let me, don't mend it, let put by nectar cup
The Real Lyrics:
(First verse)
Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy
She wants him so badly, knows what she wants to be
Inside her there's longing, this girl's an open page
Book marking - she's so close now, this girl is half his age
(Second verse)
Her friends are so jealous, you know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy to be the teacher's pet
Temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop, she's waiting, his car is warm and dry
(Third verse)
Loose talk in the clasroom, to hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom, the accusations fly
It's no use, he sees her, he starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov
The Story: My coworker obtained a pirated Police tape while overseas in the Persian Gulf War, and the tape included a printed 'lyrics sheet' that got almost all the lyrics to this song, and several other songs, wrong. I told him about this website and he dug it up for me. - Submitted by: Nick Wiltgen
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Newsstand, newsstand
The Real Lyrics:
Don't stand, don't stand
The Story: I heard this song on some TV show and it went along with the theme of a newstand during that episode (I think). I was singing 'newsstand, newsstand' the rest of the night because I thought that was a funny idea for a song. - Submitted by: Megan J
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
That book by Alvin Koff
The Real Lyrics:
That book by Nabakov
The Story: My sister had to do a report for school on a song lyric, she never bothered to research whether or not there was an Alvin Koff. I will never let her forget it. - Submitted by: Rob Reid
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
That book by now becomes
The Real Lyrics:
That book by Nabakov
The Story: I did not know anything about Nabakov nor his novel 'Lolita' when I first heard this song. Until I did hear about them, I spent a decade wondering what the 'book' became and what it had to do with a student's crush on a teacher. - Submitted by: newave
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close To Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Young teacher, the subject of speckled fantasy
The Real Lyrics:
Young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy
The Story: I figured she had freckles and maybe spectacles too. BTW this "Lolita" type story did actually happen in my high school. - Submitted by: Policeman On The Planet Pluto
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close to Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Ghost Nasser, ghost Nasser, ghost Nasser close to me.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me.
The Story: I was shopping with my (then) 3 year old son when he started singing this in the shopping cart. I had no idea what song he was singing at first! He told me it was the ghost Nasser song and sang it again. We still laugh about this story and sing his lyrics when we hear it on the radio! - Submitted by: Laura
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Don't dance
Don't dance
Don't dance so close to me.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't stand
Don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me.
The Story: Isn't it obvious?? He didn't want this person to dance so close to him. I was goofing around with my husband, dancing real close to him. I said it was just like in the song, "Don't Dance So Close To Me". - Submitted by: Lia C
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Don't stand so close, Snoopy.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't stand so close to me.
The Story: I was really young and I liked Charlie Brown. I swear Sting had the same background as I did. - Submitted by: 'd'
The Police's, "Don't Stand So Close"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Ghost man
Ghost man so
Ghost man, so close to me.
The Real Lyrics:
Don't stand
Don't stand so
Don't stand so close to me.
The Story: I was young. And who really wants a ghost standing close to them really? As a youngster at the time, coupled with not being too bright, the above lyrics made perfect sense. - Submitted by: Dumas
The Police's, "Driven to Tears"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Dribontuttio, dribontuttio
The Real Lyrics:
Driven to tears, driven to tears
The Story: I thought it was Italian, pronounced Dree-Bon-Too_tee-Oh. I had no idea what it meant. - Submitted by: Mike
The Police's, "Every Breath You Take"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Every pool hall aches.
The Real Lyrics:
How my poor heart aches.
The Story: Not my misheard lyric, this is actually what VH1 Classic (US, at least) seems to think the line is when you have the closed captioning on. - Submitted by: Katie
The Police's, "Every Breath You Take"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'm a pool hall ace
The Real Lyrics:
How my poor hear aches
The Story: My friend and I had managed to get this girl we were both hot for to go shopping with us and my friend was singing these lyrics; so I jumped on the chance to make him look like a fool. (Neither of us got lucky) - Submitted by: Mike
The Police's, "Every Breath You Take"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'm a pool hall ace
The Real Lyrics:
How my poor heart aches
The Story: I kinda wondered where this boast fit into the overall message of the song, lol. - Submitted by: Steve McGlamery
The Police's, "Every Move You Make"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'm a pool hall ace
The Real Lyrics:
How my poor heart aches
The Story: Heard a friend singing this while we were playing pool in the pub. He was totally unaware of the real lyrics and because he fancied himself as a bit of a pool shark, he related to the song. Not sure how he justified the rest of the song lyrics though. - Submitted by: John Cowie
The Police's, "King Of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Circles running 'round my thing
The Real Lyrics:
Circles running 'round my brain
The Police's, "King Of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the watering circles running 'round my brain.
The Real Lyrics:
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain.
The Story: Pouring rain in a sense creates 'watering' circles 'round one's brain? Does it not? - Submitted by: Diddlerdink
The Police's, "King Of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
It's my sawed off head.
The Real Lyrics:
It's my soul up there.
The Story: My two little sisters were actually the ones who thought this is what the song said. I died laughing when i heard them sing it. We are all adults now; and we still sing it this way! - Submitted by: Christy Ford
The Police's, "King Of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
This month's solar flair
The Real Lyrics:
That's my soul up there
The Story: My husband and a friend both insist that these are the actual lyrics (even after seeing the lyric sheet) They say the solar flairs are responsible for all the other odd things happening in the song. - Submitted by: Julie Restle
The Police's, "King of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I always win - King of Pain!
The Real Lyrics:
I'll always be King of Pain!
The Story: - Submitted by: Mike Hotter
The Police's, "King of Pain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There's a black cat caught in a high treetop
The Real Lyrics:
There's a black hat caught in a high treetop
The Story: I always thought the image of the cat in the tree was so sad and lonely, but then I actually read the lyrics one day and, lo and behold, it was a hat, not a cat. I have to admit I was more than a little disappointed. - Submitted by: Christy DeShong
The Police's, "Message In A Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
A year has passed since I broke my node.
The Real Lyrics:
A year has passed since I wrote my note.
The Story: I always thought he was singing about having broken his "node" because he couldn't pronounce "nose" properly. Because, you know, when your nose is broken, it's hard to talk properly. - Submitted by: Tom O'reilly
The Police's, "Message In A Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
A year has passed since I broke my nose
The Real Lyrics:
A year has passed since I wrote my note
The Story: When this song was first released a friend of mine actually thought that was the correct lyrics.We let him believe that he was right. He walked around for approximatly a year and a half singing those lyrics before i finnaly proved to him that he was singing the wrong lyrics. - Submitted by: Brian Kuchma
The Police's, "Message In A Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Making gin in the bathroom.
The Real Lyrics:
Message in a bottle.
The Story: I was singing this on my karaoke machine (quite clearly, mind you) and my grandma had this puzzled look on her face. I asked her what was up and she said 'Why would someone be making gin in the bathroom?' I, of course, had no idea what this had to do with anything, but she explained she didn't have her hearing aids in and must have misheard me sing the line 'Message in a bottle'. - Submitted by: Pipkin R.
The Police's, "Message In A Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Only cocaine keeps me together.
The Real Lyrics:
Only hope can keep me together.
The Story: Must be a case of selective hearing. When I heard Sting start to sing this for Super Bowl 37, I wondered if he would sing that line (still thinking it contained a reference to a scheduled substance). But when he sung the line with Gwen Stefani from No Doubt, I heard the words as intended, not as interpreted. Probably because I heard Gwen's voice, not his voice with the vocal tunings he applies to this song. - Submitted by: Rolf
The Police's, "Message In A Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Send it on an S.O.S.
The Real Lyrics:
Sending out an S.O.S.
The Story: This is always what I thought he said, until about a minute ago when I was looking at the misheard lyrics for this song, and found out the real ones. My mom used to sing it this way too, I'll have to let her know the real ones! - Submitted by: Someone
The Police's, "Message in a Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
100 billion castaways
Looking for a w--re
The Real Lyrics:
100 billion castaways
Looking for a home
The Story: I'm not sure how I heard it this way or why? But I was so sure that this is what Sting was singing. - Submitted by: Celeste
The Police's, "Message in a Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
In the Army piss oh piss
The Real Lyrics:
Sending out an S.O.S
The Story: It was very noisy in that bar when the song was played on the jukebox for the first time. - Submitted by: Kent Andersson
The Police's, "Message in a Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Massage in my bottom
The Real Lyrics:
Message in a bottle
The Story: For most of my life I just thought this is what he was saying. I thought he was a pervert for a very long time until I found out what he was saying. The song now means something totally different to me. - Submitted by: Terersa
The Police's, "Message in a Bottle"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Saturday arvo S.O.S
The Real Lyrics:
Sending out an S.O.S.
The Story: I sang the song once while on Holidays and dad set me straight! - Submitted by: I.D. Rayson esq.
The Police's, "On Any Other Day"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There's a tree on the sidewalk
There's a carp on the door.
The Real Lyrics:
There's a tree on the sidewalk
There's a car by the door.
The Story: Well my girlfriend pointed out how I was wrong. I just said, "I don't know, I thought it was some eccentric British thing. - Submitted by: Jimbo
The Police's, "Roxanne"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Rock slam!
The Real Lyrics:
Roxanne
The Story: I put this song on a CD for my eight-year old son, and he liked it. I was making a new CD for him, and he asked me to put on that song, 'you know the one mom, it goes 'Rock Slam' . . .' Too cute! - Submitted by: Lynne
The Police's, "Roxanne"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Rowr rowr right
The Real Lyrics:
Put on the red light
The Story: I was ten. I was just beginning to get into popular music. I thought that Sting was just singing jibberish. - Submitted by: Scott McPhee
The Police's, "So Lonely"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Sue Lawley, Sue Lawley
The Real Lyrics:
So lonely, so lonely
The Story: My mum, musically inlined but not quite on the cutting edge of pop, used to wonder why The Police had written a song about a BBC Television presenter. It was quite some time before she found out the song was actually called 'So Lonely'! - Submitted by: Kimba
The Police's, "Spirits In A Material World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Uh huh that's right. And we're gonna stay in school
The Real Lyrics:
We are spirits in a material world
The Story: One day about 4 1/2 years ago, my niece, Tara and I were watching 'Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls.' and at the end, the song 'Spirits In A Material World' starts playing. This is when it was re-made by Pato Banton featuring Sting. So we're sitting there listening, the song had gotten through the first verse in less than 30 seconds until the hook 'we are spirits in a material world' starts to be sung out. by the second time he said it, my niece all of a sudden just blurts out 'uh huh, that's right!! and we're gonna stay in school' I just said 'What in the hell are you singing?' when I told her what they were saying, we both just started laughing. - Submitted by: TREASURE
The Police's, "Spirits In The Material World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
My, my own, my own box of cereal.
The Real Lyrics:
We are spirits in the material world.
The Story: My nephew heard these words and sang them, after I let him listen to my Police tape. He was 11 years old, and he had to share the cereal with a brother and a sister. This was his dream. - Submitted by: Lisa
The Police's, "Spirits In The Material World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Red hot spirits hidden in the cereal bowl.
The Real Lyrics:
We are spirits in the material world.
The Story: My boyfriend told me that when he was a child, he used to look for red hot spirits in his cereal bowl every morning. - Submitted by: Morrigan
The Police's, "Spirits In The Material World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
We asperitz enema serial world.
The Real Lyrics:
There's spirits in the material world.
The Story: Not a goof, I really heard it this way; and my girlfriend wrote me asking, "What does 'asperitz' mean?" - Submitted by: walla b
The Police's, "Spirits in the Material World"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There are spirits in uh mah cer-reee-ul. (There are spirits in my cereal)
The Real Lyrics:
There are spirits in the material world.
The Story: My brother Dennis and I were at the breakfast table eating Cheerios. The song came on the radio, and he said that he couldn't believe that they wrote a song about breakfast. He was in a band at the time (and I know he was joking), but then he decided that he should call his forthcoming album "Songs about breakfast" But he didn't we just had a good laugh and now I always sing that lyric. "There are spirits...in uh my cereal..." - Submitted by: christine Long
The Police's, "Synchronicity II"
The Misheard Lyrics:
He sees his family whole now
Looming in his headlights
He goes upstairs and drinks his apple tea..
The Real Lyrics:
He sees his family home now
Looming in his headlights
The pain upstairs that make his eyeballs ache.
The Story: You come home at the end of a work day so you refresh yourself with a drink - like apple tea, perhaps? - Submitted by: Champ
The Police's, "Synchronicity II"
The Misheard Lyrics:
He sees his family whole now, looming in his headlights
He climbs upstairs that drinks his apple tea
The Real Lyrics:
He sees his family whole now, looming in his headlights
He pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache
The Story: I figured after work the husband might've cooled off with a refreshing cup of "apple tea" (is there really such a drink?). I didn't know the actual lyrics until nearly 3 years later. - Submitted by: Creature In A Dark Scottish Loch
The Police's, "Synchronicity"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Little hombre, little Juanto
You will know
Synchronicity.
The Real Lyrics:
With one breath, with one flow
You will know
Synchronicity.
The Story: There was stuff going on in Nicaragua and Panama. I don't know; I just didn't listen closely enough. - Submitted by: Jimbo
The Police's, "Walking In Your Footsteps"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Sting shall inherit the Earth.
The Real Lyrics:
They say the meek shall inherit the earth.
The Story: When I first misheard this I thought: "Wow, Sting's ego is really showing through here. No wonder he went solo." - Submitted by: Mark Dziak
The Police's, "Walking on the Moon"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Walking round the loo
The Real Lyrics:
Walking on the moon
The Story: When I was but a mere child (10ish) I was absolutely convinced that the lyrics were walking round he loo, and insisted on singing them - loudly - round Feltham town whenever the song came into my head. - Submitted by: Bee Mitchell
The Police's, "Wrapped Around Your Finger"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I will turn your face to rural Nebraska
The Real Lyrics:
I will turn your face to alibaster
The Story: I'm originally from Nebraska. From the first time I heard this song I thought he was singing about my home state until years later when I embarassed myself by singing this incorrect lyric in front of some friends! - Submitted by: Rick
The Police's, "Wrapped Around Your Finger"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'll be captain of your speed boat
The Real Lyrics:
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
The Story: I was 12 when I first heard the song and its been a long time favorite. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties I was told the correct lyrics. - Submitted by: Kate
Indexes: [#] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [Y] [Z]

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