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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Carly Simon

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


Boys in the Trees album at Amazon.com
Carly Simon's, "All I Want Is You"
The Misheard Lyrics:
All I want is you
And the sexy hermit's head that we share.
The Real Lyrics:
All I want is you
And the sexy hurricane that we share.
The Story: My boyfriend and I recently swapped misheard lyrics stories. This one has had me rolling for weeks. He wasn't even born until 1983, and says he vaguely remembers hearing his mom singing this song. Of course, he also thought (Billy Ocean's) 'Caribbean Queen' was 'Caribou Twist'. The visual on that one just absolutely levels me. - Submitted by: Debbie
Carly Simon's, "Anticipation"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Heinz is impatient.
The Real Lyrics:
Anticipation
The Story: I first heard this song in a Heinz ketchup commercial and thus the misinterp. - Submitted by: Richard Garcia
Carly Simon's, "Coming Around Again"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Baby seizes, Mommy pleases
The Real Lyrics:
Baby sneezes, Mommy pleases
The Story: I thought it was about breastfeeding. - Submitted by: Misty Z
Carly Simon's, "Coming Around Again"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Then you break a window
Burning snowflakes
Scream, scream a lullaby
The Real Lyrics:
Then you break a window
Burn the soufflé
Scream, scream a lullaby
The Story: Growing up during my childhood I was always thought Carly Simon was singing "Burning snowflakes" instead of "Burn to the soufflé". It made perfect sense to me, especially since she was talking about negative things (eg. Break a window, screaming a lullaby, etc). I didn't realize till I was an adult that the lyric was "Burn the soufflé" rather than "Burning snowflakes". Of course, at the age of 9 in 1986 when I first heard this song, I also had no idea on earth what a soufflé was even for that matter. - Submitted by: Codi Preston Dunn
Carly Simon's, "Let the River Run"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And blaze a trail of desire
Through the darkling dawn
The Real Lyrics:
And blaze a trail of desire
Through the dark'ning dawn
The Story: "Darkling" is the name of a species of beetle, best known as the fully grown version of a mealworm. Why Carly Simon was singing about darkling beetles, I had no idea.... - Submitted by: Hu's On First
Carly Simon's, "Nobody Does It Better"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Like heaven above me
This guy who loved me.
The Real Lyrics:
Like heaven above me
The spy who loved me.
The Story: Yes, the song was originally written for James Bond's "The Spy Who Loved Me"; but that's not where I misheard the words. I was watching "Little Black Book", a romantic comedy in which the heroine and her mother were both Carly Simon fans. Considering the context (the heroine singing because she was depressed over an absent boyfriend), my mistake was pretty logical: the movie I was watching had no spy characters at all. (Knowing what I knew about the history of the song, I wondered whether this character had deliberately changed the words!) - Submitted by: Ingeborg S. Nordén
Carly Simon's, "Nobody Does It Better"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Though sometimes I wish I’m uncool
The Real Lyrics:
Though sometimes I wish someone could
The Story: Sounded like it. Sorry it there was no humour - Submitted by: Trent Knight
Carly Simon's, "That's The Way I've Always Heard It Should Be"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I hear her call 'sweet dreams' but I forget how to breathe
The Real Lyrics:
I hear her call 'sweet dreams' and I forget how to dream
The Story: Heard it this way for decades. Forgetting how to breathe is something I actually occasionally did as a kid (or, convinced myself it was possible- which is still terrifying!). Today I think my line is better than Carly's....it certainly conveys a sense of desperation, which I think serves the song. - Submitted by: pushbutton
Carly Simon's, "Two Hot Girls (On a Hot Summer Night)"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Me and Jenny, twinklin' like crystalline pennies
The Real Lyrics:
Me and Jenny, twinklin' like crystal and pennies
The Story: I kept thinking, "what in the hell are crystalline pennies?" - Submitted by: Charles J. Eckard
Carly Simon's, "You Belong to Me"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Pooh bear, come to me
The Real Lyrics:
You belong to me
The Story: How ironic since Carly Simon had songs to do for Winnie the Pooh. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And when you're not you're with some underwear spy
Or the wife if a close friend.
The Real Lyrics:
And when you're not you're with some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend.
The Story: I just thought it was underwear spy. I always wondered why someone would be a spy for an underwear manufacturer. - Submitted by: Steven Gordon
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And when you're not you're with someone that would spy
on the wife of a postman.
The Real Lyrics:
And when you're not you're with some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend.
The Story: I went up to sing it at a wedding and got every one to sing along, they all burst out laughing as the groom was a postman!! - Submitted by: brorla duggly
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And you watched yourself go: "Vaaat..?"
The Real Lyrics:
As you watched yourself gavotte
The Story: Every time I hear it. - Submitted by: Keith
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
As you watched yourself divide
The Real Lyrics:
As you watched yourself gavotte
The Story: My wife mis-corrected me with another mis-heard lyric "As you watched yourself go by". - Submitted by: Jim
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had a dream I saw clowns in my coffee.
The Real Lyrics:
I had a dream there were clouds in my coffee.
The Story: My wife belted out this little diddy. I just found this site & have about 5 more beauties she`s sang since. - Submitted by: dennis
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had a dream there was cream in my coffee, cream in my coffee.
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams
They were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee.
The Story: My friend, Alice, said to me, 'I really love that Carly Simon song, Cream in My Coffee!' I said 'What??, I never heard of it before!' Then she proceeded to, very seriously, sing...'I had a dream there was cream in my coffee, cream in my coffee!' I roared!! - Submitted by: Susan Meade
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had some dreams they were clowns makin' coffee,
Clowns makin' coffee and...
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and...
The Story: from my nine year old son singing loud in the shower. - Submitted by: Jojo
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had some dreams they were grounds in my coffee, grounds in my coffee
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee
The Story: I was getting ready for my Senior party (I had just graduated high school) and I was listening to the soundtrack from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. When You're So Vain came on, I was singing along to myself and when it got to that line in the song, I decided to blurt out the words. This was followed immediately by my mom's laughter and then her correcting my lyrics. I mean, grounds in your coffee will ruin a dream real quick so it made sense to me. - Submitted by: Taren
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were clowns in my pocket.
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.
The Story: Not only did I think these were the words, but I found out that my best friend of 15 years had been singing the same exact wrong words. We discovered this as we were 'singing it out' driving down the road with the windows down. We both screamed out these lyrics and laughed so hard we should have pulled over. - Submitted by: Abby
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were grounds in my coffee.
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee.
The Story: My wife insisted that there were grounds in her coffee, and made fun of me when I said I thought they were clouds. Her response now is that her lyrics make more sense. - Submitted by: Umamough
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were
Flies in my coffee
Flies in my coffee.
or
I had some dreams, they were
Grounds in my coffee
Grounds in my coffee.
The Real Lyrics:
I had some dreams, they were
Clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee.
The Story: My mom told me that it wasn't clouds, it was grounds, like coffee grounds. She obviously is the one who is mistaken. - Submitted by: Lilly
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Some underworld spy or the wife of a clothespin
The Real Lyrics:
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
The Story: My brother and sister-in-law will disagree on who heard these lyrics, forever. Neither will ever admit that they were the one. - Submitted by: Jan Naylor
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Someone who would spy on a wife of a close friend.
The Real Lyrics:
Some underworld spy or a wife of a close friend.
The Story: I thought Carly must be really trying to nail her description of her ex-lover here to be so specific about the type of person he would be seen with. Ie: Not a spy, or a close friend, but someone who would spy on the wife of that close friend. Ah, I get it, Carly. I thought, I can picture him perfectly now. - Submitted by: stuart mcarthur
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
The scopic was at break dot
The Real Lyrics:
The scarf it was apricot
The Story: I was with my mom in the car and this song came on the radio. She sang rather loudly (and out of tune) "The scopic was at break dot!" I started laughing and said "what on earth is a scopic??" She said I don't know, but it's in the song. Even after telling her the real words, she still sings them incorrectly. This is not the only song she does this to. - Submitted by: Carol
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There were clowns in my coffee.
The Real Lyrics:
There were clouds in my coffee.
The Story: I've heard this song a lot on the radio when one day, it was stuck in my head. I walked past my mother just when I got to the part that I thought was 'clowns in my coffee'. She started laughing at me and told me the real lyrics. Now every time I hear that song, I yell to my mother, 'Hey, Mom, there's clowns in the coffee again!!' - Submitted by: ....
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
There were clowns in my coffee
The Real Lyrics:
Clouds in my coffee
The Story: Even as a kid, I thought this was bizarre but possible - it's WAS a dream, after all. - Submitted by: Mark S
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won,
So you flew your ribbon up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun
The Real Lyrics:
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga, and your horse naturally won,
So you flew your lear jet up to Nova Scotia to see the total eclipse of the sun
The Story: I was five when I heard this song on an oldies station and I thought he flew his horse-the ribbon-blue ribbon-up to Nova Scotia to celebrate his win. - Submitted by: Tatiana
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you threw your squirrel up the roller coaster
To see the total eclipse of the sun.
The Real Lyrics:
Well I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun.
The Story: Heard this on a "mondegreens" talk back radio on Melbourne (Australia) one evening - we were all cramped up on the floor laughing at this poor wee squirrel blocking the sun while clinging to a roller coaster! - Submitted by: Chris Carter
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Wife of a postman
The Real Lyrics:
Wife of a close friend
The Story: My 15 year old daughter just 'discovered' this song and I heard her sing this lyric. When I laughed out loud, she actually tried to argue that it made sense! - Submitted by: Laurie
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You had one eye in the mirror as
You watched yourself go by.
The Real Lyrics:
You had one eye in the mirror as
You watched yourself gavotte.
The Story: Almost nobody has even heard of the 'gavotte' dance these days; 'watched yourself go by' at least fits the other details in that verse, so it's a pretty easy line to mishear. - Submitted by: Ingeborg S. Nordén
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You're so vain
You probably think the sun goes around you.
The Real Lyrics:
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you.
The Story: I've convinced my father that those were the actual lyrics. - Submitted by: Doctor Whom
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Your hair strategically dipped below one eye
You had one eye in the mirror as
You watched yourself go by
I had some dreams, they were clowns in my coffee
And when you're not you win some underwear spy
Or the wife of a postman.
The Real Lyrics:
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
You had one eye on the mirror as
You watched yourself gavotte
I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
And when you're not you're with some underworld spy
Or the wife of a close friend.
The Story: I figured out that the "underwear spy" part wasn't right. But it took my 14-year-old sister to call me out on how wrong I really was. It was after doing karaoke at my cousin's wedding reception. I didn't look at the monitor, because I 'knew' the song. I couldn't figure out why everyone was laughing. - Submitted by: Lex
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Your scarf was from Africa
The Real Lyrics:
Your scarf, it was apricot
The Story: Who in the world would wear a scarf in Africa? - Submitted by: Cody Finke
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Your scarpot was apricot.
The Real Lyrics:
Your scarf, it was apricot.
The Story: Upon hearing this line, I assumed that a 'scarpot' was a fancy French dessert, and the guy in the song had an apricot-flavored one! - Submitted by: bpsteam
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Your sconlet was apricot.
The Real Lyrics:
Your scarf, it was apricot.
The Story: I never knew what a sconlet was so I looked it up to find out I've been singing it wrong for 30+ years! - Submitted by: Ron Gatts
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Your stomach was every god.
or
Your stuffing was apricot.
The Real Lyrics:
Your scarf, it was apricot.
The Story: My sister was playing the song. All of a sudden, she says, "Does that line really go, 'Your stomach was every god?'" I answered, "'No, it's 'Your stuffing was apricot.'" We both had it wrong. - Submitted by: SunshineBlue
Carly Simon's, "You're So Vain"
The Misheard Lyrics:
your scarpet was apricot
The Real Lyrics:
The scarf it was apricot
The Story: Matt Lauer on Today show mentioned and kept insisting "scarpet was apricot" was correct instead of scarf it was apricot. Scarpet is a shoe, moccasin type. - Submitted by: Matt Lauer
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