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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Artist -> J -> The Jam

Misheard song lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. This page contains all the misheard lyrics for The Jam that have been submitted to this site and the old collection from inthe80s started in 1996. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

There are 85 misheard song lyrics for The Jam on amIright currently.

There are also The Jam misheard lyrics stories also available.

"Beat Surrender"
Misheard Lyrics:
My doubt is cast aside, watching ponies run to hide
Original Lyrics:
My doubt is cast aside, watch phonies run to hide
"Beat Surrender"
Misheard Lyrics:
So come to the beat surrender
Original Lyrics:
Succumb to the beat surrender
"Beat Surrender"
Misheard Lyrics:
Suck over to the beat surrender.
Original Lyrics:
Succumb to the beat surrender.
"Billy Hunt"
Misheard Lyrics:
Will he hump, will he hump?
Will he really believe?
Really hurt
Original Lyrics:
Billy Hunt, Billy Hunt
Billy, Billy, Bill-y
Billy Hunt
"David Watts"
Misheard Lyrics:
For he is so pure and Ovaltine.
Original Lyrics:
For he is of pure and noble creed.
Cover of a Kinks' original, on the Jam's 'All Mod Cons' album.
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
Down in the chip station at midnight
Original Lyrics:
Down in the tube station at midnight
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
I got off at Mile End
And wobbled down my road.
or
I thought about my life
And thought about my wife.
Original Lyrics:
I glanced back on my life
And thought about my wife.
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
She'll be lining up the cutlery,
you know she's expecting me.
'Bollocks in a glass' he said, pulling out the cork.
Original Lyrics:
She'll be lining up the cutlery,
you know she's expecting me
polishing the glasses and pulling out the cork.
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
She'll be lining up the cutlery,
you know she's expecting me.
'Bollocks in a glass' he said, pulling out the cork
Original Lyrics:
She'll be lining up the cutlery,
you know she's expecting me
polishing the glasses and pulling out the cork
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
Smiling big Alan
Original Lyrics:
Smiling beguiling
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
Misheard Lyrics:
They smelt of pobs and wormwood scrubs.
Original Lyrics:
They smelt of pubs and wormwood scrubs.
"Dreams Of Children"
Misheard Lyrics:
Someone's gonna crap on your dreams tonight.
Original Lyrics:
Someone's gonna crack on your dreams tonight.
"Dreams of Children"
Misheard Lyrics:
I was alone - No, I wasn't!
Original Lyrics:
I was alone, no on was there
"English Rose"
Misheard Lyrics:
So no bums can ever tempt me from she.
Original Lyrics:
So no bonds can ever tempt me from she.
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
3 2 rifles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
All the s*** down my shirt
Original Lyrics:
I was sick down my shirt
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Beaten rivals
Original Lyrics:
Eton riot force
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Ears to the right boys
Original Lyrics:
Eaton Rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat more mudballs
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat some Rice Balls, eat some Rice Balls
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat two light bulbs
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat two red bulls
Eat two red bulls.
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat two right balls
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eat your rice, fools!
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating rifles, eating rifles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating trifles, eating trifles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating trifles
or
Eaton rifles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating trifle
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating truffles, eating truffles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eee too right son, Eee too right son
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eton rebels
Eton rebels
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eton riot force
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Lead to a riot, folks.
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Lead to right force,
Lead to right force
Original Lyrics:
Eton Rifles,
Eton Rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Leads to Redbull
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Need two rifles
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
What a Catholic you turned out to be
Original Lyrics:
What a catalyst you turned out to be
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
What a nice day
To eat a rifle
Original Lyrics:
What a nice day
For Eton rifles.
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
What chance have you got against a Tirana crest?
or
What chance have you got against a tiara crest?
Original Lyrics:
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
What chance have you got against a tyrant, agressed?
Original Lyrics:
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?
"Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
What chance have you got when you're tired and aggressed?
Original Lyrics:
What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?
"Eton Trifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Hello, hooray, what a nice day for eating trifles.
Original Lyrics:
Hello, hooray, what a nice day for Eton rifles.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
Displaying s*** on my TV screen.
Original Lyrics:
Braying sheep on my TV screen.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
Flying s*** on my TV screen.
Original Lyrics:
Braying sheep on my TV screen.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
I turn on the news and my body bloats.
or
I turn on the news and my body implodes.
Original Lyrics:
I turn on the news and my body froze.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
I turn on the news and my body bloats
Original Lyrics:
I turn on the news and my body froze
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
I'm so happy I can't see the boy
Original Lyrics:
I'm so happy I can't see the point
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
I’m so happy and you’re so gay.
Original Lyrics:
I’m so happy and you’re so kind.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
Spraying sheep from my TV screen
Original Lyrics:
Braying sheep on my TV screen.
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
The killing machine pays for rockets and guns
Original Lyrics:
You'll see kidney machines replaced by rockets and guns
"Going Underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
well the bastards play and feet start to pound
Original Lyrics:
well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
"Going underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
Well the brass bands play and it costs a pound
Original Lyrics:
Well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
"Going underground"
Misheard Lyrics:
Well the brass bands play and start T'Pau.
Original Lyrics:
well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
"In The City"
Misheard Lyrics:
In the city, there's a thousand pissheads all shagging bread
Original Lyrics:
In the city, there's a thousand faces all shining bright
"In The City"
Misheard Lyrics:
In the city, there's a thousend p***heads all shagging bread.
Original Lyrics:
In the city, there's a thousand faces all shining bright.
"Start"
Misheard Lyrics:
It will be a fart
Original Lyrics:
It will be a start
"Strange Town"
Misheard Lyrics:
I bought a 90 cent guide book.
Original Lyrics:
I bought an A to Zed guide book.
In Britain, 'Z' is pronounced as 'Zed'.
"Strange Town"
Misheard Lyrics:
I bought a natives cigar book
Original Lyrics:
I bought an A-Z guide book
"Strange Town"
Misheard Lyrics:
They say don't know, don't care
And I've got a gourmet
Original Lyrics:
They say don't know, don't care
And I've got to go, mate
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
A baby wailing, a stray dog howling
The screech of brakes and vampires blinking
Original Lyrics:
A baby wailing, a stray dog howling
The screech of brakes and lamplight blinking
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
A posh car and a screamin' siren
New magic Dylan ripped-up cornflakes
Original Lyrics:
A police car and a screamin' siren
Pneumatic drill and ripped-up concrete
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
An electric train and a ripped-up phone bill
Original Lyrics:
An electric train and a ripped-up phone booth
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
Cuddling a womble and smelling stale perfume
Original Lyrics:
Cuddling a warm girl and smelling stale perfume
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
Lets build a table
Original Lyrics:
That's Entertainment
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
Three bucks in the park.
Original Lyrics:
Feeding ducks in the park.
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
Watching the news and a tweeting Gertie
A freezing cat flap with damp on the walls
Original Lyrics:
Watching the news and not eating your tea
A freezing cold flat with damp on the walls
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
We come from badgers who are smoking cigarettes
Original Lyrics:
Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes
"That's Entertainment"
Misheard Lyrics:
Wearing football badges and smoking cigarettes
Original Lyrics:
Waking up from bad dreams and smoking cigarettes
"The Bitterest Pill (I Ever Had to Swallow)"
Misheard Lyrics:
You look the picture of contented new wave.
Original Lyrics:
You look the picture of contented new wealth.
"The Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Eating trifle, eating trifle
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"The Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
Hello, hurray, I prefer my way
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
Original Lyrics:
Hello, hurray, I'd prefer the plague
To the Eton Rifles, Eton Rifles
"The Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
eat two rivals, eat two rivals
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"The Eton Rifles"
Misheard Lyrics:
its a right balls
Original Lyrics:
Eton rifles, Eton rifles
"The Funeral Pyre"
Misheard Lyrics:
Well I just don't know what to be anymore
Original Lyrics:
Well I just can't grow up to meet the demands
"The Modern World"
Misheard Lyrics:
This is the mum world!
Original Lyrics:
This is the modern world!
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Hanging out their ornamentals on the line to dry
Original Lyrics:
Hanging out their old love letters on the line to dry
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
It's enough to make you stop believing in disco balls and funerals.
Original Lyrics:
It's enough to make you stop believing when tears come fast and furious.
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
It's time for Gladys
Original Lyrics:
Town called Malice
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
It's up to us to change this telephone malice.
Original Lyrics:
It's up to us to change this town called Malice.
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Tangled mallets
Original Lyrics:
Town called Malice
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Tangled mallets
Original Lyrics:
Town called Malice
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
The atmosphere's a fine Venga bus
I'm almost stone cold dead
In a town called Malice.
Original Lyrics:
The atmosphere's a fine blend of ice
I'm almost stone cold dead
In a town called Malice.
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Time is short and life is cruel
and its up to us to change this Tart called Alice
Original Lyrics:
Time is short and life is cruel
and its up to us to change this Town called Malice
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Tom O'Malley
Original Lyrics:
Town called Malice
Tom O'Malley is the name of the alley cat in animated film, 'The Aristocats.' It's also the name of a former Major League Baseball player, who played for teams such as the New York Mets and the Texas Rangers.
"Town Called Malice"
Misheard Lyrics:
Town called Haggis
Original Lyrics:
Town called Malice

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Understanding: 2.7
Liked: 4.7
Funny: 3.0

Total Votes: 50