If I can't make you smile is a crazy relic,one of those old,totally forgotten numbers from the mid 70s.Numbers by artists who,to judge from my researches never made anything like the impact of their fellows,or perhaps just didn't get the breaks.Mystery seems to shroud even the identity of the singer of this oddity.I'm sat here with said old vinyl 45 in my hand as I type this.It says on the label,Arranged by Richie Rome-Produced and directed by Billy Jackson-Thus I'm a bit befogged as to just who actually sang this.In any event,the guy portrayed in this number is painting himself as the world's greatest tosser.He prattles on and on about not being able to make the lady in his life smile,sigh or say she loves him.Why,then,is she sticking around?Could it be because she's totally messed up like he is?That line asking what kind of man can't make his girlfriend sigh-Guys,it sounds like both these people could use urgent help.He even talks about her smile all twist out of shape.It's starting to read like one of those thrillers about a totally insane couple or something.The crowning glory is that other line I've selected-I believe good lovin' will make you smile.Like,what's that supposed to mean?I'm going to now start really loving you?Or,I think you'd be better off with someone else?I know today's enlightened will find these lyrics hard to believe,but guys I kid you not.I've got the smoking gun evidence right here as I type,just like I said.To make matters even worse the song has a slow,almost dirge-like delivery,backed by a sad little music track.Guys,we're talking a three minute acid trip here.Talk about mining the maw of madness.Perhaps it's not that surprising that a thing like this was totally forgotten.Perhaps it sounded wierd even back in the 70s,and was quickly passed over.Today it sounds like nothing on Earth.