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Song Parodies -> "Junk Food Like That/I Have a Mouth"

Original Song Title:

"A Boy Like That/I Have a Love"

Original Performer:

West Side Story Soundtrack

Parody Song Title:

"Junk Food Like That/I Have a Mouth"

Parody Written by:

Melanie Lee

The Lyrics

Welcome to Musical Dinner Theater! OS (stage version): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GKrYPPXgto
MAMITA:
Junk food like that will kill your body!
You used to be so strong and hearty!
Come eat some real food.
Sit down to real food.

Junk food like that will burst your belly!
You stuff your face watching the telly.
Please eat some real food.
Sit down to real food.

Junk food will soon grease your blood!
Junk food will soon stop your heart!
Those corp’rate clowns, those business kings
Who think they’re smart
Clog your heart, Chiquita,
Clog your heart!

That phony food will waste your money!
High fructose syrup isn’t honey!
Junk food’s addictive; it’s by design!
The weight you’ll see.
Such weight, Chiquita!
Such weight you’ll see…

CHIQUITA:
Shut up, Mamita, now!
Mamita, now…!

It’s bad for you, not for me.
It’s fattened you, but not me!
Because you’re old,
It is a danger to your tongue,
But I’m young, Mamita,
But I’m young…

MAMITA:
Junk food like that… (she repeats her words)

CHIQUITA (simultaneously):
…and I’m strong,
So I can do no wrong,
So I’m lifelong
With Burger King
And Mickey D’s,
And Hostess Cakes… I am theirs!
If it’s bad, I don’t care!
Double patties, French fries,
And those apple pies…

MAMITA:
…Clog your heart, Chiquita,
Clog your heart!

CHIQUITA:
Oh, stop, Mamita, stop!
You act no better,
With KFC
And Starbucks scones!
You act no better…

I have a mouth,
And my mouth must be filled
Like a song!
Raw veggies won’t do.

I love junk in heaps!
It’s tasty, and it’s cheap.
Fried food rules!

I have big eyes
And my eyes must be pleased
Like a bong!
So who needs beef stew?

I love junk! I see
Their jingles on TV…
It’s a thing I must do!
I hunger, hunger forever
For Wendy’s now,
Carvel and B-R…
Till I die!

CHIQUITA and MAMITA:
With cravings so strong
For Whoppers or Ding Dongs,
We’ll eat till we die!
Some interesting takes on the OS: Carol Burnett and Julie Andrews https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QAGHYD-jm4 Lin Manuel Miranda and Raul Esparza https://www.broadwayworld.com/videoplay/BWW-TV-Exclusive-Raul-Esparza-and-Lin-Manuel-Miranda-Take-on-Maria-and-Anita--Watch-A-Boy-Like-That-at-MISCAST-20140407

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - August 31, 2018 - Report this comment
As a fellow junk food junkie I support this message! Making me hungry!!
Agrimorfee - August 31, 2018 - Report this comment
Hehe, I could picture this easily with Rita Moreno and Natalie Wood (voiced by Marni Nixon, of course) from the movie, battling and ultimately consoling each other in a Kwiki-Mart. Well done, Melanie!
Peter Andersson - August 31, 2018 - Report this comment
I've written lot of food parodies in my days but the idea of a duet to the subject has never struck me - might have to try that down the line - good job here.
Stuart McArthur - September 18, 2018 - Report this comment
...but it tastes so good, Melanie - especially those apple turnovers from Maccas and their hash browns. Nice job - 555

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