Yesterday at home, watching my TV
I get quite a shock on National Discovery
A group of squirrels beat Steve Irwin's "Crikey" guts
Because he stupidly touched their little nuts

Oh, Jingle bells, crack those shells
Go, small squirrels, go!
Bite that guy's leg or higher
Until he cries "Yee-ow!"

Then one fine good day, skiiing in the snow
I met a furry squirrel, he dresses up like Rambo
I said my "Howdy do?", he greeted me back
And then he call all his friends and commanded an attack!

Whoa! Jingle bells, what the hell?
Why do they attack?
Maybe it's because
I ate their nuts for my snack

I fell down in the snow, begging for my life
But then I'd rather die, than go back to my wife
The snow is turning red, I must be really dead
That's why I'm in the hospital with stitches in my head

Oh, Jingle bells, ding dong bells
I'm running out of rhymes
I'm sick of squirrels and their nuts
I'd rather eat some slime

My doctor just told me I had visitor
Then I had to fear, is it my mean father?
The visitor came in, I screamed "Aw, heck no!"
It's the Grim Reaper known as Squirrel Rambo

Jingle bells, Jingle bells
It's my funeral
Why did it have to be squirrels?
I really hate sqirrels!