Song Parodies -> Bad-Ass Nick is Coming to Town
| Original Song Title: | "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" |
| Original Performer: | Traditional |
| Parody Song Title: | "Bad-Ass Nick is Coming to Town" |
| Parody Written by: | Stray Pooch |
According to Discovery News, Saint Nicholas's face has been reconstructed from measurements taken when his body was disinterred during renovations to the chapel where he is buried in 1953. According to the expert who did the reconstruction "If he were alive now you would image him to be a rugby player or a bouncer or even a stereotypical thug." This seemed like a song cue . . .
You better watch out. You better not cry.
You better not pout. I'm telling you why.
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
He's takin' no crap. He's buyin' no lies.
Gonna flat slap down all the bad guys!
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
His global intel network
Insures that you can't hide.
His methods you can bet work.
If you mess up, kid, you're fried!
You better not goof. You better keep right!
He'll have the proof and on Christmas night
Tough-guy Nick will smack you around!
With knuckles of brass, a blackjack or knife
He'll kick your ass and mess with your life.
Hardball Nick is coming to town.
Enforcing the law, endorsing that fear
(Ashcroft's approved his methods, I hear.)
Big Bad Nick is coming to town!
His goons from Elf-and-Gnomeland
are on a terror spree!
They'll all patrol the homeland
To insure security!
You better fly right. You better stay straight!
This year he's sure he's got a mandate!
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
You better not pout. I'm telling you why.
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
He's takin' no crap. He's buyin' no lies.
Gonna flat slap down all the bad guys!
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
His global intel network
Insures that you can't hide.
His methods you can bet work.
If you mess up, kid, you're fried!
You better not goof. You better keep right!
He'll have the proof and on Christmas night
Tough-guy Nick will smack you around!
With knuckles of brass, a blackjack or knife
He'll kick your ass and mess with your life.
Hardball Nick is coming to town.
Enforcing the law, endorsing that fear
(Ashcroft's approved his methods, I hear.)
Big Bad Nick is coming to town!
His goons from Elf-and-Gnomeland
are on a terror spree!
They'll all patrol the homeland
To insure security!
You better fly right. You better stay straight!
This year he's sure he's got a mandate!
Bad-ass Nick is coming to town!
Copyright 2004 Pooch-at-the-gate.
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User Comments Follow...
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Nice to see you straying back this way, Pooch! :-)
I have to agree with Merry, Stray! This was Darling!!!
Dis here parody gets all fives. Anybody wanna make somet'in' of it?
Merry, Arwen and Michael: Thanks for the comments and thanks to all for the votes! NOTICE: I AM ABOUT TO SELL A SONG TO AN INDEPENDENT MOVIE PRODUCER. I NEED SOME ADVICE FROM ANYONE WHO HAS SOLD SOME MUSIC ABOUT WHAT TO ASK FOR. Sorry about the shouting but I wanted that to stand out. I have written and performed several songs but this is the first one that is going to make me a buck or two. I wrote only the music, not the lyrics (they were his). He has informed me that he is getting it produced in Nashville to add to his movie and he wants to talk compensation. Any suggestions, all you Paul Williams types? Email me at "straypooch @ yahoo.com" (No quotes or spaces, I just wasn't sure how this form would take an email address.) Thanks!
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