Song Parodies -> Arrest These Swarthy Gentlemen
| Original Song Title: | "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" |
| Original Performer: | Traditional |
| Parody Song Title: | "Arrest These Swarthy Gentlemen" |
| Parody Written by: | MooRocca |
This is NOT autobiographical, nor is it based on any real person. It's just a satirical look at one possible POV. I had laid this aside, because kicking around in this character's paranoid delusional head was unsettling and unpleasant, but Guy did such a great job of illustrating an opposite extreme with a parody of this same song that I wanted to finish it and present it as a complementary piece to his. Several different lyric sets exist for this song, I wrote it to the set I learned as a child. The lyrics at http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/Christmas.carols.html come very, very close to matching those lyrics, the only difference is that in the first line of the second verse, I was taught to sing "in Bethlehem in Is-rae-el" rather than "in Bethlehem in Jew'ry"
Arrest these swarthy gentlemen
Take everything they say
Against them in a court of law
Don't let them get away
It's obvious they're terrorists
Can't hide what hue betrays
Oh, Oh SWAT teams should be-e-e deployed!
Ordered deployed
Oh, oh SW(ah)-AT teams should be-e-e deployed!
I'm scared of them, they're born to kill
Each one of them, be warned
Their presence is a da-a-nger
So do your duty sworn
Remove them from society
All deviants from norm
Oh, oh save us from thei-eir evil ploys
Sinister ploys
Oh, oh sa-ave us from the-eir evil ploys
Their God they claim is one with mine,
How dare they speak His name?
They're clearly spawns of Sa-a-tan
They bear their master's stain
Against good folks like me they're sworn
They're evil and insane.
Oh, oh, they are in Lucifer's employ
Satan's employ
Oh, oh, the-ey are in Lucifer's employ
"Cannot?" are you in league with them?
Don't wait until they strike!
Prevent their reign of te-e-rror
Remove them from my sight!
They breed unchecked, who's watching them?
They don't deserve our rights,
Oh, oh I'll have no co-omfort or joy
Til they're destroyed
Oh, oh I will have no co-omfort or joy
The lot of them are frightening
Please rid us of their kind
With keyless locks, no plea-eadings
Pray justice swift and blind
Will sentence them to death straightway,
Each one of them you find
Oh, oh find them and every one destroy,
Quickly destroy
Oh, oh fi-ind them and every one destroy.
And when they beg salva-a-tion
Ignore what-e'r they say,
Remember they're a da-a-nger,
And we must make them pay
Like animals just put them down,
And make them go away
Oh, oh give them no co-omfort or joy,
Comfort or joy
O, deny-y them all co-omforts and joy.
When you've restored our sa-ameness,
And saved the human race,
We'll with true love and brotherhood
Each other then embrace;
So stem their tide of Evilness
And cleanse my sweet Earth's face.
Oh let all of us who co-onform rejoice
Revel with joy!
Oh let all of us who co-onform rejoice.
Take everything they say
Against them in a court of law
Don't let them get away
It's obvious they're terrorists
Can't hide what hue betrays
Oh, Oh SWAT teams should be-e-e deployed!
Ordered deployed
Oh, oh SW(ah)-AT teams should be-e-e deployed!
I'm scared of them, they're born to kill
Each one of them, be warned
Their presence is a da-a-nger
So do your duty sworn
Remove them from society
All deviants from norm
Oh, oh save us from thei-eir evil ploys
Sinister ploys
Oh, oh sa-ave us from the-eir evil ploys
Their God they claim is one with mine,
How dare they speak His name?
They're clearly spawns of Sa-a-tan
They bear their master's stain
Against good folks like me they're sworn
They're evil and insane.
Oh, oh, they are in Lucifer's employ
Satan's employ
Oh, oh, the-ey are in Lucifer's employ
"Cannot?" are you in league with them?
Don't wait until they strike!
Prevent their reign of te-e-rror
Remove them from my sight!
They breed unchecked, who's watching them?
They don't deserve our rights,
Oh, oh I'll have no co-omfort or joy
Til they're destroyed
Oh, oh I will have no co-omfort or joy
The lot of them are frightening
Please rid us of their kind
With keyless locks, no plea-eadings
Pray justice swift and blind
Will sentence them to death straightway,
Each one of them you find
Oh, oh find them and every one destroy,
Quickly destroy
Oh, oh fi-ind them and every one destroy.
And when they beg salva-a-tion
Ignore what-e'r they say,
Remember they're a da-a-nger,
And we must make them pay
Like animals just put them down,
And make them go away
Oh, oh give them no co-omfort or joy,
Comfort or joy
O, deny-y them all co-omforts and joy.
When you've restored our sa-ameness,
And saved the human race,
We'll with true love and brotherhood
Each other then embrace;
So stem their tide of Evilness
And cleanse my sweet Earth's face.
Oh let all of us who co-onform rejoice
Revel with joy!
Oh let all of us who co-onform rejoice.
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 2 | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 5 | 7 |
User Comments Follow...
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Now that is *good*
Thanks Phil!
I'm with Phil
Thanks Rick! (Come back! Unless you voted this morning, I think you forgot to vote.)
Tried it again. Didn't take. Must have. Love out.
Very thoughtful parody, Melhi. And well executed (no bad pun intended).
Rick, you didn't really have to come back to check, but thanks! That was very nice of you! Guess you must have caught it, this morning.
Thanks Merry! Hey, I happened to catch the tail end of a promo for yet another dinosaur special on cable (probably Discovery channel) and couldn't help but think of your 'Ventin' New Dinosaurs parody. :)
Very good job of poking fun at a rational position taken to an irrational extreme. Well rhymed, as well.
Thanks John!
Outstanding.
Thanks Claude!
Melhi, This was way more than I expected when you commented on mine that you were going to do this. So glad that you wrote and posted this. It is so very true what you write and I have believed this about them oh so long now. I think George Bush knows this as well but he has to walk that fine line between secularism and his own convictions. Great, great, great, great write. I'm glad mine was out first because I would have probably never posted it otherwise since this is such a very hard act to follow. You did this justice. Nice, nice nice!
Wow, thanks, Guy! Even if I'd gone back to this one to finish it, I probably wouldn't have submitted it if you hadn't posted yours and then said you'd like to see mine, when I mentioned it. Glad you enjoyed it. :)
An excellent work , Melhi !
Thanks Diva!
Ditto on Diva, Guy, Claude, and everybody else's comments.
Thanks Mr. X
Excellent 'execution' of the song, to pardon the already-used-pun, and excellent pacing. Subject matter is a bit too heavy, but it's intentional in this case. Excellent job.
Thanks 2nz!
I'm not sure everyone caught just how much this drips with sarcasm. Sarcasm good. Melhi good.
Well, I've been being as good as possible, this year, Spaff, because I'm hoping to get "Elves Gone Wild" in my stocking, instead! :) Thanks!
Oops, I meant to say, "instead of the usual lumps of coal!"
Well, if *that's* what you want for Christmas, then you're obviously a damn good girl.
Spaff... Yep!
My favorite parody yet, but how dare you call them "gentlemen"!
One of the better parodies, and one of the very best parody titles.
Wow, thanks Michael!
Just got around to this one - Great title & parody. This deserves to make the rounds again.
Thanks David!!
Pacing - 17 fives
Funny - 12 fives, 3 fours, 2 threes
Overall - 17 fives
Funny - 12 fives, 3 fours, 2 threes
Overall - 17 fives
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