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Song Parodies -> "St. Bonnie"

Original Song Title:

"My Bonnie"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"St. Bonnie"

Parody Written by:

Jonathan C.

The Lyrics

Well, I'm back to my roots, per say, doing a sports parody. This one, of course, documents the pitfalls of the St. Bonaventure basketball team.
St. Bonnie lies over the campus
St. Bonnie lies on the TV
St. Bonnie lies over the campus
'Don't go to St. Bonnie', says me.

'Don't go, don't go, don't go to St. Bonnie.', says me, says me
'Don't go, don't go, don't go to St. Bonnie.' says me.

The scandal blown over the campus
The scandal told on the TV
The scandal blown over the campus
'Don't go to St. Bonnie', says me.

Repeat Chorus

Coach Van Breda Kolff blew his hot air
The pres gave the athletes good grades
But not from hard work or good studyin'
How much did they get from back-pay?

Repeat chorus

St. Bonaventure was in trouble
The NCAA took seven wins
The whiny kids canceled the last two
They showed no remorse for their sins

Repeat chorus

St. Bonnie cleaned house and canned JV
The AD and president too.
They told all the players they're losers
They're worse than a can of doo-doo

Repeat chorus

Last night as he laid on his pillow
Van Breda Kolff slept in his bed
The media came and they stoned him
Next day, Van Breda Kolff was dead

Repeat chorus

The priests, they were angered and saddened
How could they taint St. Bonnie's name?
They pled for the agency's mercy
Then administered most of the blame.

Repeat chorus

St. Bonnie lost b-ball scholarships
The school could not feel any worse
But mostly they lost their dignity
And a few more moolah from their purse

Repeat chorus

I know that St. Bonnie will be back
The basketball team, they will grow
I still don't want my kids to be there
Because it is in Buffalo.
Except for the Van Breda Kolff stoning death, everything else is as true as I could make it. And I don't have anything against St. Bonaventure (as a college or a saint) or Buffalo, NY.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Not bad. As for those last two games, nothing Bona ventured, nothing Bona gained.

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