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Song Parodies -> "These 'Ladies' Are Not Gentlemen"

Original Song Title:

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"These 'Ladies' Are Not Gentlemen"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

I used to watch The View occasionally, always in low doses to protect my testosterone levels. While it used to be somewhat tolerable, it has now become daily scenes from MacBeth - cackling witches brewing a cauldron of evil with Elisabeth Hasselbeck as the human sacrifice and Joy Behar as the devil. Wait...that cheapshot was blatantly unfair and demeaning...to the devil! ;D





These "ladies" are not gentlemen - those harpies on The View
The show was once quite insightful but now all that they spew
Are catty venomous attacks that last the hour through.
And the worst is that loudmouth b*tch named Joy.
Brother, oh boy!
Yes the worst one is that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

They once had lovely Meredith, so charming and urbane.
But she went to The Today Show and things soon went insane.
I bet at N.B.C. she's glad that she jumped off the plane,
Far away from that loudmouth b*tch named Joy.
Matt's her new toy.
And she escaped from that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

Starr Jones saw it was time to leave and so the team she bucked.
She left then they accused her of having her tummy tucked.
Old Baba and the other girls dissed her - it really sucked.
And the worst was that loudmouth b*tch named Joy.
She can annoy!
Yes, the cruelest was that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

Babs then signed Rosie O'Donnell. She'd bellow and she'd roar.
Her gay left anti-Christian rants soon touched off a big war.
But Babs would sell her soul to hell to raise her ratings score.
Almost worse than that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!
Rosie! Destroy!
She's almost worse then that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

Now Whoopi sits in Meredith's chair, so smarmy and so smug.
Goldberg is much too clever to spill blood upon the rug.
But in the guise of being funny she hits like a thug.
Not as bad as that loudmouth b*tch named Joy.
Wood horse of Troy!
Much more sneaky than that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

When I retired I watched The View but soon said "What the heck?"
Each day the girls will gang up to abuse Liz Hasselbeck.
They strip her of humanity and try to break her neck,
And it's led by that loudmouth b*tch named Joy.
They're never coy!
The lynch mob's led by that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!

I've given this fem hate-filled party way too much amount.
There's not a lib-ral man or woman that they wouldn't mount!
I barely mentioned Sherry Shepherd - she's too lame to count.
And I'll write no verse for that loud b*tch Joy!
Not this old goy!
Just say I destest that loudmouth b*tch named Joy!







Oh well, we still have Regis and Kelly! ;D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Jack Wilson - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
LOL this was awesome 5s
Mark Scotti - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Well said!!!
TJC - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Though I've only seen it second hand via SNL skits, this primo parody exceeds any mere sketch by a c'untry (s)mile!
Timmy1000 - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Well written - now I don't have to evr watch it (not that I would). Sounds like stuff people just throw on YouTube
Old Man Ribber - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Many thanks, friends! For Christmas, bring the the severed head of Joy Behar, ;)
2Eagle - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Jay Leno once said that he thought he heard a cat fight going on, but it turned out to be somebody watching The View. It really is a silly show.
Fiddlegirl - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Clare Booth Luce would be proud... of *you*! :)
blackjack21 - December 03, 2009 - Report this comment
This is awesome, I laughed through the whole thing. My fave of the day. Great work! 555
Old Man Ribber - December 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks again. The View (with Joy, Barbara, Whoppi, and Sherry) has one more "ho' than Santa!

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