Why should I weigh 300?
Why should the pounds pile on?
Why should my scale be screaming
Whenever I step on?
I want the biggest portion
‘Cause food’s my first resort.
My eye is on my waistline
As I step in the food court.

I eat because I’m happy.
I eat, then thank the Lord.
My eye is on my waistline
As I scan the smorgasbord.

“Why don’t you try Weight Watchers?”
Some harsher words I hear.
“You’ll die before you’re fifty,
And for your health I fear.”
And to the gym they’d lead me,
But IHOP I turn toward.
My eye is on my waistline
As I view the smorgasbord.

I eat because I’m lonely.
I eat because I’m bored.
My eye is on my waistline
As I scan the smorgasbord.

Whenever I am tempted,
Wherever biscuits rise,
When milk gives way to ice cream,
When I increase in size,
I shop at ol’ Lane Bryant
For clothes I can’t afford.
My eye is on my waistline
As I near the smorgasbord.

I eat because I’m sleepy.
I eat as my reward.
My eye is on my waistline
As I scarf the smorgasbord!