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Song Parodies -> "Close Every Store"

Original Song Title:

"Close Every Door"

Original Performer:

Tim Rice/Andrew Lloyd Webber

Parody Song Title:

"Close Every Store"

Parody Written by:

Brain_dead

The Lyrics

From an avowed (and broke) shopaholic.
Close every store to me,
Hide all the sales from me
Dim display windows
And bright neon signs.
Strip bare the mannequins,
Empty the clearance bins,
Make me hate shopping,
And wait in long lines.
For my fate is truly sealed
The moment I see good deals,
I buy things I’d never need
If they are on sale.

Keep all those goods from me,
I won’t “buy one, get one free”
The buck in my bank account’s
Feeling alone.
Because I know if I spend,
I’ll meet my indebted end,
For I’ve made a promise
To take no more loans.

Chorus
Close every store to me,
Bar Target’s doors to me,
All of the savings
add up to my loss

Lock JC Penney’s,
And Gottschalks and Sears,
Don’t show me new items,
And let me forget.
Shopping for stuff was fun,
But now I am undone,
Drowning in payments
And credit card debt.
If I had more willpower I
Would just say “Bye-bye” to buy-
-ing, but I’d know it was a lie,
And keep shopping yet.

So close each mall and boutique,
From this mad shopping freak,
So that my wallet’s
Not empty and glum,
For I know I will find,
My lost peace of mind
When I get a new credit card,
And my paycheck comes.

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 LittleLots
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   5
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User Comments

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Kristof Robertson - June 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff, B_d! The funereal tone of the OS perfectly matches the tongue-in-cheek moroseness of your parody. Well constructed, and wryly funny. 555
littleShopCakes - June 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Love this topic, Sir !
brain_dead - June 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir? i'm a girl... O_o
prosperalways - March 20, 2016 - Report this comment
Salute to you Madam! I am extremely impressed. Very well thought out and fit perfectly into the mood of the original song. 555

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