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Song Parodies -> "Only Goo"

Original Song Title:

"Only You"

Original Performer:

The Platters

Parody Song Title:

"Only Goo"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This iconic 50s chestnut seems to have remained in the public consciousness thanks to recent covers, but Tony Williams's soaring tenor lead on the original has never been equalled, imo. You'll find a good HD version here.

This scenario is non-pc, reflecting that era when women were thought to belong in the kitchen. Still and all, I've rarely met a woman who isn't interested in talking about food or the preparation thereof. Call it hormonal or cultural - I'm not going there.

I'm sure some of you, um, veteran husbands have experienced the situation described to varying degrees, especially when a full brood of constantly hungry and totally complacent offspring come along. The routine and drudgery take their toll. Sorry about the stereotyping, gals - for parodic purposes only. Oh, and I've added a couple of extra verses for the sake of 'substantiality' (a hint to others who tackle short OSs).


Only you can make my food seem right
Only you can make pea soup seem bright
Only you and your ham bone
Can fill me like you do
And grill my steak so tender - only you

Only you can take herbs strange to me
Dill, thyme and rue, cumin and rosemary
When you pot-and-panned, I understand
The magic that you brew
Gourmet dream come true
You won a prize or two.

Only you can conjure meal divine
Cordon blue cuisine with vintage wine
All our friends would creep to have a peep
Your secret recipe
'Inviting-you': they had to stand in line

(Some years later)

Only you, canned heat, baked beans for me
Right on cue, you slop this mess for me
Mashed tater bland, and roundly spammed
The tragic splat I chew
With some ketchup too,
Your wan and homely stew

Only you no salad dressing made
Vindaloo from take-out there displayed
And these days you're not at home
You have some things to do
Oh how I miss young wife that once was you

(Why me? - Only you!)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Giorgio C - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
This is a lot of fun - 5s!. Fortunately for me, Signora C gets even better with time, and our empty-nester status contributes to that.
Dave W. - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
.Delightful morcels of truth served just right.....Being as it is that I never cooked a meal in my life - It hits home quite well....especially the later years.. Now it's - " shut up and eat your mush "
Old Man Ribber - March 11, 2013 - Report this comment
Life - This one REALLY cooks! ;D
AFW - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Am I not getting this? The title is "Only Goo" but in the parody it is not used...was "Only You" meant to be "Only Goo" in the lyric?
Lifeliver - March 12, 2013 - Report this comment
@ Giorgio - thanks, regards to Signora C and lucky you. Unfortunately my moglies never stuck around long enough for me to find out.
@ Dave W, OMR - glad you enjoyed it
@ AFW - sorry, my mistake. Just before submitting I decided to change the title to 'Only Stew?' but forgot to make the corresponding revision in the title box. The lyrics are not affected. Tsk. Publisher's editors have been fired for less. I was hoping readers would figure it out.

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