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Song Parodies -> "Sixteen Sons"
Original Song Title:
"Sixteen Tons"
Original Performer:
Tennessee Ernie Ford
Parody Song Title:
"Sixteen Sons"
Parody Written by:
Dee Range
The Lyrics
You might be a Red Neck if you mine coal in West Virginia, and think this was written about you :-)
Some kids'll think their pa is made out of cash
But I look poor next to trailer park trash
Trailer park trash, at least got phones...
Two cans and a string is all that I own
I got six-teen sons, love 'em but yet
One's robbin' banks and one's takin' in bets
One's peter may be fallin' off, 'cause I been tol'
He stuck his pole in a marginal hole
One is smug-glin' cocaine where the sun doesn't shine
One walks with a shuffle, one's as mute as a mime
I got six-teen sons, and twenty's the goal
But the wife done said "LET'S REST MY HOLE"
We got six-teen sons, and twenty one pets
Don't know what's for dinner but it sits on a RITZ
Salt peter she's been givin' me 'cause I just know
Muh durned 'ol pole's been refusin' to grow
I was woke one mornin' when the Grizz-ly came
Askin' fer trouble, so I said "I'm game"
We fought down to the river bed and I ain't lyin'
Next spring I'll have a couple cubs to claim that's mine
I got six-teen sons, one with two heads
Never learned the meanin' of the word 'inbred'
WEED EATER'S what we're usin' for our hair cuts
The hound dog howls, now I got eight more mutts
The law makes a livin' raidin' my old still
Most night's I drink up 'till I get my fill
A jug 'a good 'shine, another 'a beer
My last DUI I blew a (point).5 near
I got six-teen sons, and twenty nine pets
I just might make it to the Guiness book yet
Oh TROJAN don't ya fail me when I explode
There's no more room to expand this abode
But I look poor next to trailer park trash
Trailer park trash, at least got phones...
Two cans and a string is all that I own
I got six-teen sons, love 'em but yet
One's robbin' banks and one's takin' in bets
One's peter may be fallin' off, 'cause I been tol'
He stuck his pole in a marginal hole
One is smug-glin' cocaine where the sun doesn't shine
One walks with a shuffle, one's as mute as a mime
I got six-teen sons, and twenty's the goal
But the wife done said "LET'S REST MY HOLE"
We got six-teen sons, and twenty one pets
Don't know what's for dinner but it sits on a RITZ
Salt peter she's been givin' me 'cause I just know
Muh durned 'ol pole's been refusin' to grow
I was woke one mornin' when the Grizz-ly came
Askin' fer trouble, so I said "I'm game"
We fought down to the river bed and I ain't lyin'
Next spring I'll have a couple cubs to claim that's mine
I got six-teen sons, one with two heads
Never learned the meanin' of the word 'inbred'
WEED EATER'S what we're usin' for our hair cuts
The hound dog howls, now I got eight more mutts
The law makes a livin' raidin' my old still
Most night's I drink up 'till I get my fill
A jug 'a good 'shine, another 'a beer
My last DUI I blew a (point).5 near
I got six-teen sons, and twenty nine pets
I just might make it to the Guiness book yet
Oh TROJAN don't ya fail me when I explode
There's no more room to expand this abode
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 4 | 4 | 4 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 48 | 46 | 47 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Three F's for Far-out, and Fantastically Funny.... And three F's for Five...Five..Five
the salt peter line is priceless, great parody
What AFW said! I guess since St. Peter was the "rock" on which the church was built, he couldn't have been ingesting salt peter.
Simply foot-stompin' funny, well paced and creative.
Clever concept, a lot of very good lines, and a very good conclusion.
a masterpiece ! ..by far, my favorite of the day
VERY good, Dee...still grinning...=)
LOL Dee Range. 16 sons, what do you get? a 555 from Red Ant.
Thanks AFW, RoyceJohn Barry, Gary Ray, John Jenkins, alvin rhodes, Arwen, and Red Ant> The votes and kind comments are very much appreciated
Fantastic stuff Dee - dunno how you managed to win that Grizzly bear over - what a charmer! - 16 sons means time to stop chasing that elusive daughter - 555
Stuart, thanks mate. The Grizzly and I probably smell similar, hence the attraction. By the by, congrats on winning the SOTM. I should have some time to check it out this weekend...
Ah'm gonna give ye three 5's 'n' then Ah'm gonna rest my hole! Brilliant!!! Lots of good lines here.
Rick, bless you. 'Preciate it!
You said pole and hole. And Trojan. Naughty naughty.
Dang nab it, Prude. You've fin'ly accomplished what you set out to do. Them thar' three ones has destroyed muh life. Letterman just called, cancellin' muh appearance for tomorrow nite.(Grabs a full bottle of oxycontin 80 mg...300 pills...and washes them down with a fifth of 'shine). Weird Al e-mailed me, sayin' I ain't welcome on his upcummin' tour, that he'll find sumbuddy else to open for (fashioning a noose now, securing the rope to a tree in his livin' room). And to top it all off, my dogs all left home, and muh wife stayed (Steps up on a chair, slips the noose around his neck, tightens it, and slashes both wrists as he kicks the chair away). Ah just 'caint take it anymore (pulls out a Glock 9mm, and cocks it as blood spurts down rapidly). You won't have me to kick around anny mor....BOOM....whups, gun slipped from the blud...It's hard to hit a swingin' target...shit fire, ah 'cain't do nuttin rite. Guess I'll see ya tumorruh :=)
Some great lines in here. Very good overall idea too. I agree that the content is not suitable for a ten year old (as per submission guidelines), but neither are Harry Potter parodies really...
'Probly oughta be a filter for the kids computer, 'cause I don't write for 10 year olds. I wish I could, because there is a fortune to be made in children's books..... I only write what comes to me naturally, and to edit or refuse my stuff, and all other material from the other adult oriented authors here, is Chucky G's perogitive. If there was someway to have a section for kids only, i.e. PG 13, for example, and everything else (Except for WHATFREAKS material) open by registered password only, then e-mail Chuck and I would be all for it. Sixteen Sons is not a G rated song, but neither is it X rated. This site would be much the poorer if all R rated (SUGGESTIVE, or ENTENDRE-LADEN) material was not allowed. Maybe a separate web-site altogether, for 13 and under, is the answer. But if you have nothing but 13-year-old suitable humor on here, eventually you will only have 13 yr old and under artists contributing.
Dee..you are on fire, matey! 555
I grew up in the coal belt and I must say that I remember families just like what you are describing in this parody. Soooo funny. I had actual faces of real people for my mental images as I scanned this one. Foxworthy material here.
LOL on both rants Dee! - cleverly done
Kristof...thank you, coming from you, high praise indeed. Guy...I've spent many years in thirld world countries, where 99% of all families would trade places with this family in a heartbeat...where rat meat is a luxury many can't afford...thanks for the Foxworthy kudo, really love his humor......Stuart, I took a little Jack Daniels Detour last night, don't even remember typing those little comebacks...but it does sound like me hehehe...
Funny stuff.
Thank you, Leo
Gol-ol-lee! Y'all got 16 fives, and a few to spare!
Thanks Michael
oh, and thanks Dee, for your congrats - :-)
It's a good thing you have two hobbies (parody writing being the other) cos God knows how many sons you would have otherwise.
( SOTM ) Already voted and commented.
(SOTM) Used the original lyrics to help with pacing (DKTOS), and all is present and correct. Funny too 555
(SOTM) You might be a redneck if someone hands you votes of 555 and you think it's yer blood alcohol count.
(SOTM) If your pickup truck is taller than your house, you might be a redneck. :-)
(SOTM) already voted, commented
SOTM: Very well done, you get points just for mentioning West Virginia =)
(SOTM) See above.
SOTM--you already know how much I love this, Dee!!
(SOTM) You might be a redneck if, you think this parody's about you! :) Funny stuff, Dee.
Ha! Brilliantly executed hilarity. 555 automobile parts decorating your yard.
(SOTM) DKTOS, but a nice read!
(SOTM) West Virginia? I grew up in South Carolina and this should be the state song!
(SOTM) Love the WEED EATERs line!
Wow. Watch your backs, everyone, because Dee Range is in DEE RANGE TERRITORY here. And that's some damn fine unsuitable-for-10-year-olds territory. I absolutely love this. Anyone who has a copy of the original needs to play it while reading this; there are a wealth of good subs that you don't even realize are there. Oh, and I'm with Stuart on your rants. Killer stuff.
(SOTM) yes Spaff's right - based on my Limewire mp3 download, the 'peter' and the 'Grizzly' takes became new highlights, altho my fave bit is still the (rather) crude "But the wife done said "LET'S REST MY HOLE"
(SOTM) Welcome to the Major League, Rick! You do realise that now you're gonna have to keep writing parodies this good, dont you? ;-)
Excellent, Dee. I think I'm up to about ten songs to choose from by now... sigh.
I have no idea why I called you Rick, Dee...(didn't he do Disco Duck? ;-))...must be the medication wearing off...soooorrryyy!!!
(SOTM) See above comment.
I know the original pretty well, so I have to concur with those that said great subs in here. Very good.
Daggone that's funny. Here, take yer fives. They's as much yers as them there bear cubs.
Many thanks to all for the nice comments on this.
I think your cache (?) may have jumped the gun there, Dee - because altho I'd like to take partial credit, sadly I cannot - but watch this space for the "DeeRanged McArthur" submission tomorrow!!
(SOTM) DKTOS
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=6076;image
Thank you everyone, for both the comments and support in the SOTM contest. To place third with so many outstanding parodies in the contest is really a surprise, shock, and thrill for me. This song was based on a former brother-in law who was from a coal mining family from West Virginia, who married my sister while stationed at the same Air Force base that my family was at. I was just 10 or 11 when I met him, but never forgot his stories of life where he grew up, and this is the result.
Missed this when it came out, Dee (Tax Season - no wonder). Excellent - 5's ~ ~ ~
Here's a thought: You should get somebody to record this. And then, like, put it on a CD or something. I'd buy it.
(SOTY 05) see above
(2005 SOTY) See above, and you rants were awesome too.
We're...not...Fox...worthy! (Sorry; that little joke was better in my head than it is in print.) Still love it, Home On Dee Range. (Sorry; same with that one.) "Trailer park trash at least got phones" - heh heh. Oh, and just to explain my last comment, I heard a rumor that you were working on a CD, so consider this a pre-order.
Clean it up, & add some real humour, & you would have a excellent song. As it is, it has no real class of humour, just potty mouth jokes. There is great potential here .
Today's Classic comes from the mind of Dee Range
Long time since I have been back on the sight, Claude. Sure miss the old days when I had time to write and read the great parodists on this sight like yourself and countless others that had me laughing for years.
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