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Song Parodies -> "After Sixty Calls"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"After Sixty Calls"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

I'm now working at a Service Bureau that supports Income Tax Software...the department I'm in supports non-preparer data entry in an Interview Format, which they then transmit to us...we then check & review and forward to the IRS Filing Center...it's very fast-paced - which I happen to really enjoy...and the caller's are mostly very, very nice people...but...not always...although my specialty is the Tax law and tax program input I also have to try and deal with "Tech" issues now and then...here's a taste of what that's like for me...
Some people say our program is just a big dud
Phone reps some days take a whole lot of crud
Questions and crud; you stare at the phone
My mind won't work; all my answers are wrong

After sixty calls what do I get?
Another mad caller who's wanting to vent
“Armando, can you help me ‘cause I don't know
Just how to get his tax files to go”

I leave home each mornin' ‘fore the sun does shine
Clocked in before 8 and connected to my line
There were sixteen calls waiting there in the queue
I heard my boss say, “Could you please take a few”

After sixty calls my headphones were bent
The callers got madder and wanted to vent
“Say Daniel, please help me, ‘cause my program's froze
It's so locked up I can't get it to close”

Got a girl from a check store who's really nice
Knows nothin' ‘bout taxes; would like my advice
Told her ‘bout EIC; forty minutes I spoke
The girl laughed and giggled like I'd told her a joke

And then Vicki called, and here's what she said
“My program will not update”, those words that I dread
“On screen-share we will help” I then intoned
I said “Hey Hector, can you help me?” - He moaned

So Hector comes over; I give him the mouse
He said, “Ask more questions”; I started to grouse
“What should I inquire? Just what's the deal?”
I was really hoping that you'd
take over the wheel

He said, “Hey, no way, but here's what we'll do
I'll handle the screen-share, but they'll talk to you”
“OK”, I said to Hector, “but please go slow
You're talkin' ‘bout stuff that I just don't know”

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Adagio - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Such is the life...sounds like a headache waiting to happen. 5's
alvin rhodes - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
fun to sing along with
John Barry - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice slice of work life.
Paul Robinson - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Adagio/alvin/JB - Thanks! At lunch now...hectic and busy again today...wish you were all here (instead of me)...lol...actually, I love it.
Stuart McArthur - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
I assume you wrote this while they were waiting on "hold" Paul - a nice one to share with your coleagues - 555
Paul Robinson - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Stu - Actually, I wrote it at home - my boss would throttle me if she caught me doing it here...besides, there really isn't enough free time to even attempt it...Thanks
John Jenkins - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done, Paul. Hang in there. I have a hunch you will be getting flaky calls until April 15th.
Paul Robinson - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks, JJ...you know, I handle some calls from CPA's and licensed preparer's when they ask a Tax Question of one of the regular 1040 software reps (those folks are mostly trained in the 'Tech" aspects of the program, not the tax issues), and some of them don't seem to know a whole lot more than the non-preparers I deal with from the Interview format program...scary...those folks are doing returns for clients - without anyone really reviewing what they sign and send out...personally, I like dealing with the non-preparers more...they try really hard and are very grateful for the assistance we give them...
Meriadoc - February 02, 2005 - Report this comment
So what happens when I click on "calculate gross product earnings" and it gives me an negative integer..huh? Huh? ;-)
Kristof Robertson - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, to be part of the fast-paced glamorous world of Information Technology...well done Mr Robinson. 555
Paul Robinson - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Mer - beats me, that's not Tax lingo...Kristof, yeah, but it's absolutely great parody material...thanks.

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