Valentino or Brynner
Lancaster or Flynn, or
Cary or Gary
Or Gable or Jimmy
Just cannot enthrall
Like the sexiest man of them all:

Rudolf the ballet dancer
(Danseur noble!) "Bart!"
Was a very handsome dude
(Like Charlton Heston!) "Lisa"
And if you ever saw him
(Woo, hoo!) "Martin?"
You would wish that he was nude.
(Would I ever!) "Lisa!!!"
All of the ballerinas
(Foxes!) "Apu?"
Stood in line to partner him
(Around the block!) "Miz Krabappel?"
They couldn't persuade Rudolf
(Rats!) "Who's that?"
To do a pax de deux with them.
(Eem - po - si - blay!) "Moe?'

Then one legendary dame
Whispered in his ear,
(Whoa, ho!) "Nelson?'
"Rudolf, with your expertise
Could we hook up, if you please?"

Then how the Jet Set loved him
(Eeeexcellent!) "Mr. Burns?'
They were simply blown away
(Sigh, me too!) "Smithers?"
Rudolf, we love you madly
(Got it bad!) "Shut up, Flanders!"
We don't care if you are gay.
(Like some people we know!) "Maa - aarrrge!"