I am a man of Constance borrow
Connie is my neighbor's wife
We swing together in Kentucky
I play her love songs on my fife
(He plays her love songs on his fife)

She smokes my ears, and licks my stubble
No pleasures fonder have I found
She's Wilma, and I'm Barney Rubble
When Fred is gone, we fool around
(When Fred is gone, they fool around)

We play fun games beneath the covers
The bed is a farm, we're gander and goose
Sometimes we're "choo choos"..on a railroad
My engine hooks to her caboose
(My engine hooks to her caboose)

She says "bury that in my deep valley."
We drink moonshine, a jug a day
She says, "Bo Bob..you're like no other
Not husband, Hank, nor cousin, Ray.."
(Not husband, Hank, nor cousin, Ray)

That whistle means, shift change at the coal mine
So, Constance get your ass next door
Now old Hank, he has a two barreled shotgun
Don't wish to meet God's golden shore..
(We must not meet God's golden shore..)

See you again, tomorrow at four..