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Song Parodies -> "Rescue from Gran Sasso"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Rescue from Gran Sasso"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

When Mussolini was imprisoned in the Imperial Hotel in the Abruzzi Mountains by the Italian King in 1943, Hitler was enraged and got Otto Skorzeny and his SS Commandos to perform a daring daylight raid in Sept '43. 12 DFS-230 assault gliders took off for the attack but only 8 landed and used nose braking rockets to land within 40 ft. The 90 German troops within 12 minutes had rescued Mussolini w/o firing a single shot! He was to be taken by cable car back to the ground but Skorzeny opted for a risky Fi-156 Storch STOL ride instead. The overload Storch took off in short distance but then faced a 2150m plunge off the cliff. It dipped a bit but the pilot got her up and got Mussolini back to German territory where he went to Berlin. Skorzeny won the Iron Cross and proceeded to work in Ardennnes with commandos trained to deceive Allied troops by switching road signs, and using fake English-speaking MPs with captured US Jeeps and weapons to further complicate advances. Skorzeny was considered "the most dangerous man in Europe" during WW2.
Rescue from Gran Sasso
right on time

Use of Skorzeny’s commandos
Mountain climbin’
Attackers glidin’

Hitler couldn’t stand it
Mussolini bound
Hotel- was held captive
Then 90 assault troops hit the ground

[Rescued without a shot fired out loud]

Rescue from Gran Sasso
right on time
Steep (Storch) climb

Skilled troops
Skilled troops
Skilled troops
Skorzeny- Iron Cross
Assault from air
12 minutes was freed
No German loss

[Just boasting talk]

Fuhrer pleased
Rescue from Gran Sasso
right on time
(although later saddened by killing of Il Duce)
Mussolini was later captured by partisans and shot to death with his mistress. Their bodies were hung up at a local gas station upside down and stabbed and bludgeoned for fun. Hitler saw the footage and probably made the decision to commit suicide rather than face capture by the Red Horde.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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Patrick - November 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Didn't the machine gun used to assassinate Mussolini turn up in Albania recently? As I recall, it was a French MAS 7.62mm. I wonder if anyone has ever made a movie of this rescue. I guess, considering the subject, it probably wouldn't have as much appeal to American audiences as, say, "Valkyrie".

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