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Song Parodies -> "What New T-80U?"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"What New T-80U?"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In the late 1980s the LKZ plant designed a radical MBT that became known as the "Black Eagle" meant to replace the standard T-80. Known as Object 640, the Black Eagle became a stretched and heavily modified T-80U that was first sighted in 1997 at an exhibition. The radical new turret was camo-netted and later found out to be a full size mock-up on a T-80 chassis! A new prototype was then completed and seen during trials with a new low-profile turret with sloping armor and a new main gun fed by autoloader. It had 7 road wheels per side and the driver's compartment was moved back further towards the turret. The MBT was claimed to have a range of new tech that would beat the rest of the world's tanks. The technology included new active armor panels that would sense incoming rounds and missiles and eject upwards, exploding into the path of those weapons. On each side the tank would carry 3 Anti-Helo missiles to defeat gunships and the tank would also have Dazzler mounts to confuse IR sensors on missiles as well as enemy IR targeting systems. The main gun was to be a 152mm smoothbore capable of firing a range of ammo as well as a wire-guided ATGM through the tube! Weight was to be 50 tons with a 1600-2000 hp turbine engine and speed of nearly 60 mph!!! The rest of the armor was multilayered and augmented on the turret to prevent top-attack missile breakthroughs. The crew survivability was improved by placing armored modules around the commander and gunner with the driver in his compartment. The Black Eagle then disappeared off the radar. The theories are many. Some believe that Russia simply did not have the funds to mass produce the tank while others think that the T-95 light tank design interfered and yet others think that all of the new tech (except for the 152mm main gun) was applied to the last variant of the T-90 family. Regardless, the Black Eagle T-80UM2 seems dead now...
What new T-80U?
cannot find…

Object 6-4-0 to improve
Tech applyin’
And redesignin’

New 50 ton bandit
Was breakin’ new ground
Main gun would prove deadly
152 (mm) could shoot many rounds

What new T-80U?
cannot find…
Design

Was improved
Was improved
Was improved
Active armor to start
Dazzler mount scare
AH missiles- Gee!
Speed off the charts

Not to be
What new T-80U?
cannot find…
(T-90 mods for Red Army)



http://www.military-today.com/tanks/t12_black_eagle_l3.jpg http://ciar.org/ttk/mbt/armor.vif2.ru/Tanks/MBT/640.jpg http://t80leningrad.narod.ru/images_1/tank_ob640_40.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

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