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Song Parodies -> "A-10 Thunderbolt II"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"A-10 Thunderbolt II"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Fairchild A-10 Thunderbolt II (aka Warthog and Titanium Bathtub) is one of the oldest and most recognized US strike aircraft in the world. It is a CAS (Close Air Support) tank-buster supreme noted for its huge 30mm GAU-8A Avenger gun and AGM-65 Maverick missiles carried. In ODS it had its shining moment. Three fighter units were equipped with it, they made 8,500 sorties, and killed 1000 Iraqi tanks, 1200 artillery pieces, and 2000 AFVs!!! During ODS they fired depleted uranium rounds at 4200 rpm!!! However, it was later discovered that the DU rounds that burned were toxic and have been discontinued in favor of more conventional projectiles for both the aircraft and MBTs. The A-10 has a slow sub-sonic speed of 422 mph loaded, a ceiling of 34,686 ft, range of 2480 miles, and can carry 8 tons of ordnance on 11 stations. The weapons include combos of Mavericks, ATG LAU-68 seven-shot 70mm rockets, and four AIM-9L/M Sidewinders for self-defense. The AGM-65B/C Mavericks can be IR or TV guided. Engines are 2x GE TF34-GE-100s each rated at 9065 lbs st. They are spaced to avoid losing both engines if hit by a SAM or MANPADS system. It's Russian equivalent is the Su-25 Frogfoot that has more powerful engines, faster speed, a 30mm gun with lower amount of rounds, lower ordanance carried (6 tons) but more types, and lower range. It is however very rugged: able to land in dirt/mud/snow and took Stinger hits in Afghanistan and survived due to an armored bulkwall between engines. Comparisons to the losing Northrop A-9 are unfounded...
A-10 Thunderbolt II
Fearsome strike

Close Air Support is what you do
Combat flyin’
Fairchild supplyin’

Was ODS bandit
Hunted Rep-Guard down
Firepower handy
4000 vehicles burned to the ground

A-10 Thunderbolt II
Fearsome strike
Awesome might

GAU
GAU
GAU
Avenger hits and-POW!!!
Anti-armor
Mavericks free
Armor blazes- WOW!!!

Kills with ease
A-10 Thunderbolt II
Fearsome strike
(Tank-buster supreme)
A-10: http://www.fas.org/man//dod-101/sys/ac/a-10-19990422-f-7910d-518.jpg Losing rival Northrop A-9: http://www.marchfield.org/a9zz.jpg

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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

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Callmelennie - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Did you know, Robert, that Fairchild actually did bring Screaming Jay Hawkins to a Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing about A-10 where he performed this very same testimonial song parody. According to Fairchild executive, it was almost as if SJH "put a spell" on the Commitee causing them to approve the A-10 on the spot :D
Patrick - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Congress actually appropriated several million dollars to Piper Aircraft to build a couple of turbo-prop replicas of the WWII P-51 Mustang as a possible replacement for the A-10. Last I heard, the Air Force was investigating the Brazilian Embraer Tucano, similar to the old T-28 trainer, and best known for its ability to track and shoot down planeloads of Christian missionaries mistaken for drug couriers. I wonder if the Pentagon ever thought of just building some more A-10's.
Rob Arndt - March 29, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks CML for the info. Also, Patrick the best version of the Tucano was the British Shorts version at the time (1986- early '90s): http://www.military-aircraft.org.uk/trainers/shorts-tucano-t-mk1-trainer-plane.jpg But then the Brazilian AF developed the EMB-314 ALX Super Tucano (aka A-29) which has a stretched fuselage, upgraded Kevlar cockpit, FLIR, better engine, more stores which include indigenous Mamba missiles, and flies faster and farther. The best COIN aircraft in the world bar none unless the Russians turn to Aeroprogress for the T-720!!! EMB-314 ALX: http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/AIR_Super_Tucanos_Formation_lg.jpg
Rob Arndt - March 30, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, the reason that the USAF did not want the Piper PA-48 Enforcer COIN a/c was that it was slow at 404 mph and USAF pilots did NOT want to fly prop planes (comparisons to S American AFs). It could have been made for export but the USAF figured it wasted enough money on the prototypes. The program actually started in the early 1970s with Cavalier, but they could not mass-produce so it was handed over to Piper. The planes flew OK but no one wanted to fly them and the USAF didn't want to buy them. Today in Afghanistan they would make good CAS a/c for THAT region. As for the Tucano, it has a great reputation with 1000s of interdictions of drug carrying a/c of all types.

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