Song Parodies -> "An-94 is Cool"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"An-94 is Cool"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

The Nikonov An-94 started out in the late 1980s as a Soviet replacement for the AK series of rifles that span the globe. Mistakenly called the "Abakan" after the Soviet assault rifle test trial codename, the An-94 was first seen in the West in 1992, after the collapse of the FSU. The rifle is lighter and more versatile than the older AKs, is recalibered to fire 5.45x39mm rounds, and has mods fitted everywhere. It replaces the old wood furniture with synthetics, has a swinging butt, new re-designed two-stage flash suppressor, 40 rd mags, new selector switch moved to the left side with ability to fire single-shot, 2-rd burst, or fully automatic as well as Safe and Locked modes. Has a left mount for electro-optic sights and can carry Russian grenade launchers underneath the new re-designed gas tube. Fires first two rounds at 1800-2000 rpm and then drops down cyclically to 600 rpm via a cable and cog system. Is in slow production but has yet to be exported to any nation and has not been encountered anywhere... ROF in lyrics= Rate of Fire.

An-94 is cool
New design

Kalashnikov replacement new
New round firin’
Nikonov supplyin’

Not the way Russia planned it
Switch to a new round
7.62 (mm) was handy
5.45 (mm) penetrator proved sound

An-94 is cool
New design
More refined

Well improved
Well improved
Well improved
Mods fitted here and there
Higher ROF
Cloaked in secrecy
So far, not encountered

Infantry (use)
An-94 is cool
New design
(AKs replaced very slowly)

http://www.military-today.com/firearms/an94_abakan.jpg http://world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/assault/as08/an94-2.jpg http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VFhQz3mYGYk/TgCip5asfQI/AAAAAAAADBU/Fy6rDnUvBwA/s1600/Russian_AN-94-5.jpg

Previous Parody Added to the Site | Next Parody Added to the Site

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - March 05, 2012 - Report this comment

"Swinging butt". Sounds like one of those bikini girls with rifles videos. Too bad our feds don't recognize the 2nd Amendment anymore. The Russkies could find quite a market for this little toy right here in the States.

Rob Arndt - March 05, 2012 - Report this comment

Have owned, borrowed, and shot a lot of assault weapons in my time, but always loved my AKs and MAK-90s which were kitted out fully. The An-94 is better than those and I would love to get my hands on one, but it still is enigmatic. I heard that the Secret Service had a hard time obtaining one! They evaluate all world arms as to their threat level. The German new HKs are awesome too, but likewise are not sold in the US- hell, Congress won't allow Colt to go under militarily so no M-8 and I doubt they will allow the adoption of the HK-416/417 weapons. Colt has been bailed out of 3 rifle competitions in the last three decades!!! They can't seem to get away from M-16 architecture and it kills them against competitors. US SFs use the FN Scar right now...

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/screaminjayhawkins737.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 880