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Song Parodies -> "Glider-Fighter for Use"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Glider-Fighter for Use"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The radical Bv-40 glider-fighter came about due to the need to construct a fighter with a smaller frontal area and make use of non-strategic materials. So, the wooden glider fighter was born. With no engine up front, the fighter was lightweight and would allow up to 20% of weight for armor use to protect the prone pilot (another advantage with visibility and high-Gs). The fighter was to be towed by a Bf 109 to a few thousand feet above a bomber formation and then released for one pass, firing its twin 30mm MK-108 cannons to kill one bomber. It would reach a diving speed of 560 mph and once finished might have enough time for one climb and a second dive, this time releasing a cable mine. But the work went slowly and by late 1944 was dropped after maybe 25 were produced. This is another craft associated with the Hitler Youth, but again a LW pilot would have flown it.
Glider-fighter for use
the dive kind

Late war, the new fighters were few
Germans tryin’
Were still fightin’

BV had wood bandit
Idea kickin’ around
Small glider-fighter handy
Small target would be hard to shoot down

Glider-fighter for use
the dive kind
With (cable) mine…

Made of wood
Made of wood
Made of wood
No engine, pilot prone
Armored glider
560 (mph) speed
Two 30s (mm) hitting home

Lunacy
Glider-fighter for use
the dive kind
(towing aircraft vulnerability)
http://www.warbirdsresourcegroup.org/LRG/images/bv40-2.jpg http://www.warbirdsresourcegroup.org/LRG/images/bv40-1.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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David Copper - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
What made the Germans think that this would work out any better than their composite aircraft scheme?
Patrick - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Sounds like a desperate scheme that would get a lot of good pilots killed. With no engine, the plane would have no way to evade escort fighters.
Rob Arndt - November 03, 2011 - Report this comment
The Bf 109Gs and Ks could carry 1-at speeds above 400 mph over the bomber formation. Once released the Bv-40 would dive to between 530-560 mph and would not be able to be intercepted by any Allied fighter with speeds of between 437 mph- 500 mph in a dive. It also presented a very small target to both teh bomber gunners and escort pilots. It was intended for use with one pass at one bomber and then a glide back home like the Me-163. However, from height it could dive very well to avoid escorts and still make it back to base. If a climb and second pass it was hope to use a cable mine to destroy another bomber. Pilot was shielded with armor and the plane was also wooden making it very light. DC, with the Misteln the upper fighter pilot had to control both aircraft and since the explosive bomber lower was heavier, the speed was nowhere near 433mph as with the Bv-40, so many of them got shot down on appriach to ground targets from AA gunner or from marauding fighters. Many times the Messer and Focke pilots just ditched the weapon, having to fight the Allied aircraft pursuing at speed. Apples and oranges...

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