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Song Parodies -> "First Japanese were Ainu"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"First Japanese were Ainu"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

People living in Hokkaido, Sakhalin, and the Kuril Islands who are physically unlike their Mongoloid neighbours. The Ainu may be descendants of early Caucasoid peoples who were once widely spread over northern Asia. The original Ainu language, with a number of dialects, has been largely supplanted by Japanese. The Ainu formerly lived on all four major Japanese islands but were pushed northward over the centuries by the Japanese. Intermarriage with and cultural assimilation by the Japanese have made the traditional Ainu virtually extinct. Of the approximately 24,000 persons on Hokkaido who are still considered Ainu, hardly any are purebloods and very few maintain the language and religion. Most of them now resemble the Japanese in physique. The traditional Ainu were round-eyed, short-statured, and brunette and had abundant body and facial hair compared to their Mongoloid neighbours. The men wore heavy beards, and the women had moustachelike tattooing around the mouth. They dressed in bark cloth or skin drapes, often decorated with geometric designs. They were hunters, fishermen, and trappers until the Japanese moved into Hokkaido and attempted to settle them in agriculture. Many of them now work in the construction industry or as day labourers. The traditional religion of the Ainu centred on local forces of nature, which were thought to have souls or spirits. The most important ritual in the Ainu religion involved the sacrifice of a bear.
First Japanese were Ainu
were round-eyed

Wore skin clothing and were tattooed
They went huntin’
Others were fishin’

Mongoloids couldn’t stand it
On Hokkaido found
They treated them badly
Pushed them around and hunted them down

First Japanese were Ainu
were round-eyed
Caucasoid

They moved you
They moved you
They moved you
Forced you to intermarry
Bred in captivity
Lost their religion
Learned to speak a new language

Culturally
First Japanese were Ainu
were round-eyed
(Ainu are reviled regionally)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/AinuGroup.JPG/300px-AinuGroup.JPG http://www.fmnh.org/research_collections/anthropology/anthro_sites/boone/ainu/ainu_full/face1.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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The Professor - September 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Caucasoid???
New World Man - September 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Have you ever listened the classic album "Diesel and Dust" by the Australian band MIDNIGHT OIL? It has several songs concerning Australian Aborigines. However, the song "The Dead Heart" is an anthem of defiance and determination to culturally survive, it really applies to all indigenous peoples - Aborigines, Mauri of New Zealand, Ainu and Polynesians of Japan, Lapps of Scandanavia, Native Americans, Pygmies, Hottentots of southern Africa, Igorot of the Phillipines and many others. If you filter out the Aussie proper names from the album lyrics you can see that what the band's saying refers to native people everywhere. It's a rock'n'roll classic so check it out! : )

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