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Song Parodies -> "Saab A.36, Swedish Nuke"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Saab A.36, Swedish Nuke"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

In the late 1940's work was started on getting Sweden nuclear weapons, which studies showed would be technically and economically feasible. In 1952 Saab started designing an aircraft with long range, large weapon load and high speed as 'Project 1300', which later were given the Air Force designation A-36, although it was never built. Model 1300-76C was equipped with a single seat, straight delta wing with 62 degrees sweepback, chin intake and internal weapon bay. (the latter only because of concerns about accidental detonation due to the high temperatures air friction would cause). Primary weapon would be a Bofors-built 600-800 kg free fall nuclear weapon. Rumored codename was "Sauron". There was also a slightly shorter alternative version 1300-77A with the dorsal air intake. The project was cancelled in 1957 and all resources concentrated on Viggen. However, it wasn't until 1966 parliament finally decided Sweden wasn't going to get nuclear weapons. Model 1300-76C Length: 17 m Span: 9,6 m Wing area: 54 square meters Empty weight: 9000 kg Max load: 1500 kg Fuel: 4000 kg Max take off weight: 15000 kg Engine: Bristol Olympus Thrust/weight ratio (take off): 0,73 Max speed: Mach 2,14 above 11 km; mach 1,2 at low altitude Radius of action: 410 km Ceiling: 18 km Take off run: 490 m
Saab A.36, Swedish nuke
was declined

Bofors was to build Swedish nuke
Free-fallin’ “Sauron”
A.36 bomber droppin’

Swedes couldn’t stand it
Nuke bomber flyin’ around
Caught in bitter debate
Swedish Govt. decided to shut it down

Saab A.36, Swedish nuke
was declined
Social landmine

No to nuke
No to nuke
No to nuke
No “Sauron” to drop
Swedes were too wary
Victims of neutrality
Saab A.36 was too scary

Utmost secrecy
Saab A.36, Swedish nuke
was declined
(Sweden to be nuke-free)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5f/Saab_36.gif http://alternathistory.org.ua/files/users/user586/SAAB-A-36%20(2).jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - July 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Who would Sweden drop a nuke on? I think they even banned the 5.56mm NATO rifle cartridge because it was considered "inhumane". Germany quit using bayonets for the same reason.
Wild Child JIN - July 11, 2011 - Report this comment
They should just fire all the nukes into space at each other, and detonate them. Seems the only way to get rid of them all. ;-) Great parody Rob! 555! :-)
Rob Arndt - July 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Patrick, where did you hear that Germany dropped bayonets? The 1990 G-11 caseless was fitted with one: http://www.nazarian.no/images/wep/186_g11_scope.jpg And the E German Wieger STG-941 was fitted with one: http://cdn1.thefirearmsblog.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/wieger_stg_941-tfb.jpg AFAIK, although German troops may not use them much anymore, the HK G-36 can fit the SG2000 bayonet as well as old stock of E German AKM bayonets or the Bundeswehr B2005MAL bayonet. The Germans also can use gas-charge ballistic knives mounted underneath for SFs!!!
Patrick - July 11, 2011 - Report this comment
I have a reference book at work on Bayonets of the World.. The author claims that Germany no longer issues bayonets. Of course, that book was published before the NATO incursion into Afghanistan. If the Germans want to export rifles, they would still have to have provisions for a bayonet.
Rob Arndt - July 11, 2011 - Report this comment
The Bundeswehr still uses bayonets for the G-36. Either B2500: http://www.messershop.at/lshop,showdetail,2004g,e,,eickhorn.eickhorn_bayonets,800126,7,Tshowrub--eickhorn.eickhorn_bayonets,.htm Or old GDR stock AKM types: http://world.guns.ru/assault/de/hk-g36-e.html

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