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Song Parodies -> "Sound Cannon of WW2"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"Sound Cannon of WW2"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Besides the Vortex Gun and Wind Cannon, invisible and powerful air waves were used in another devise designed by scientists at Lofer, in the form of the so-called "sound cannon." Designed by Dr. Richard Wallauschek, the cannon consisted of large parabaloid reflectors, the final version of which had a diameter over 3m. The "dishes" were connected to a chamber composed of several sub-units firing tubes. The function of these tubes was to allow an admixture of methane and oxygen into the combustion chamber, where the two gases were ignited in a cyclical, continuous explosion. The length of the firing chamber itself was exactly a quarter of the wavelength of the sound waves produced by the on-going explosions. Each explosion initiated the next by producing a reflected, high-intensity shockwave, and so creating a very high amplitude sound beam. This high and strong note of unbearable intensity was emitted at pressures in excess of 1,000 milibars about 50m away. This level of pressure is above the limits that man can endure. At such a range, half a minute of exposure would be enough to be lethal. At longer ranges (about 229m), the effect would be excruciating and a soldier would be incapacitated for some considerable time afterwards. No operational or physiological tests were ever carried out. It was suggested, however, that laboratory animals were used to prove the basic soundness of the concept. The cannon was never deployed for its intended purpose.
Sound Cannon of WW2
bizarre weapon find

Methane/Oxygen weapon was new
3m dishes firin’
Sound intensifyin’

Dr. Wallauschek built it
High intensity sound
1000 millibars 50m away
Enough to bring enemy soldiers down

Sound Cannon of WW2
bizarre weapon find
German design

Many firing tubes
Many firing tubes
Many firing tubes
Sonic device barrier
30 seconds proved lethal
Against dogs, such cruelty
Amplified sound wave terror

Unbearable intensity
Sound Cannon of WW2
bizarre weapon find
(modern non-lethal legacy)
Photo of the Schallkanone: http://www12.reocities.com/Pentagon/2833/wunderwaffen/supergun/soundcannon/soundcannon.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Dylan Baranski - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Did you know that the Japanese actually tested a "death ray" during World War II? It used microwaves & was intended to cook the enemy like a burrito. However, it required a lot of power & it had a short range.
Rob Arndt - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Yes, I am familiar with ALL secret weapons of WW2, but specialize in the German ones. You might want to look up Dr. Franz Phillip and HIS microwave research in Berlin which was viewed by a Japanese delegation prior to Heinz Scaeffer's U-boat journey, The Nazis were providing U-boat technology transfers to Japan to aid in their aerial war (missiles, jets, engines, cannon, etc...) as well as shipping uranium for the Japanese atomic bomb under construction in occupied Korea at Konan (Genzai Bakudan). Japanese had used FUGO balloons as first intercontinental weapon to start forest fires in US- put out by the all-Negro Triple Nickels, then 555th. Japan also planned to attack the Panama Canal in 1945 with Type I-400 submarine carriers that held 3 Seiran attack planes. Japanese built prototype jets, active rocket Kamikaze craft, had the world's largest carrier with the Shinano that was sunk, and the world's largest battleships too. They also used bio-warfare on the Chinese... and so on...
Dylan Baranski - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Ooh...very interesting stuff! As a history buff, I'll definitely have to dig into that! And yes, I am familiar with the Fu-Go balloons. Since you know about all these secret weapons, I suppose you'd know that the British had a similar balloon project called Operation Outward?
AFW - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
So, Dr. Wassahisname invented the sound cannon...I was married to one...
Rob Arndt - June 01, 2011 - Report this comment
DB, see my Ublo submission ;-D
Hammerhead - June 02, 2011 - Report this comment
Rob, any chance of doing a parody about Colossus or the "Funnies"???

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