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Song Parodies -> "The Hijack Theft You Pulled"

Original Song Title:

"I Put a Spell on You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Screamin' Jay Hawkins

Parody Song Title:

"The Hijack Theft You Pulled"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

On Thanksgiving Eve in 1971, a man in a business suit and dark glasses boarded Northwest Airlines Flight 305 in Portland, OR. Shortly after take-off he handed a cabin attendant a note that claimed his briefcase contained a bomb and warned, "no funny stuff." In Seattle, he exchanged the 36 passengers and most of the flight crew for $200,000 in low denomination $20 bills and 4 parachutes. The plane took off again towards Reno, NV. It was flown low with gear down and flaps extended, unpressurized. After a time, the flight crew saw a light blinking indicating that the rear exit stairs had been extended. They found the plane empty as D.B. Cooper (Dan Cooper as registered, reporter changed to D.B. Cooper) had parachuted out somewhere in a wooded area upon approach! He had jumped into heavy rain and howling winds so the FBI thought at first that he had died in the jump. False as no chute and body ever found. Then, they thought that he must have been injured and died. False as no body was ever found. And lastly after 9 years, a kid found a wad of $20 bills on the muddy banks of the Columbia River near Portland, OR where this all started. The serial numbers matched those of Cooper's bills. The rest of the money never found. Cooper remains the only skyjacker in the US to elude capture. The only possible realistic explanation comes from a woman named Clara that claimed in 1982 that Copper, under the name of Paul Cotton, came into her life with a broken ankle. They lfell in love and ived together for 11 years until he died of disease. Yet the controversy still continues today much like the vanishing of Amelia- endless conspiracy theories abound!
The Hijack theft you pulled,
escaped… or died?

A brilliant plan to execute
Northwest Airlines
On Flight 305

The Boeing (727)- you jacked it
Spread terror around
Passengers were handy
Traded for $200 thou, bailed out

[Plane gear down, flaps extended throughout]

The Hijack theft you pulled,
escaped… or died?
Petty find (1980- wad of $20 bills riverside)

FBI screwed
FBI screwed
FBI screwed
D.B. Cooper was free
Vast conspiracy
Died of disease*

[Hunters not pleased]

Strategy
The Hijack theft you pulled,
escaped… or died?
(Low altitude jump with money did succeed)
* read above

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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AFW - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Fine technical addition to the story...
Rob Arndt - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
That's what separates me from JAB's style on these IPASOY parodies. His are intelligent and told through artistry while mine are intelligent and told through technical details. I try to cram as much info as I can into mine and that is a challenge with the number of lines and the syllabic count. TY for the comment too :)

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