There’s NO negroes, like ‘FRO negroes, they’re SOUL negroes fo’ sho!
Everything about them is appealling!
They’re not nappy-headed, no no no!
With a Brillo scouring the ceiling
You “keep it real” -ing!
You be ghet-to!

They’re GRAND people, them TANNED people, got CANNED calling them ho’s!
I just had no clue what it’s like being black
So I’m taking those hurt feelings back
Now, whether you’re shooting hoops or dealing crack
I’m SO down with the ‘fro!

(Instrumental Interlude -- in a display of bravery and forgiveness, the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team join our hero onstage for some heartwarming booty-shaking-------------------- and now the big finale, with arms linked, kicking like Rockettes, I swear):

There’s….NO…negroes like…’FRO…negroes…you GO negroes, YO YO!!!
I must do my penance for my lousy rants
And join my victims in this rowdy dance
Plus I’ll even wear the giant clowny pants
And SO…ON…WITH…THE………FRO!!!!!!

(That’s right -- a giant afro wig the size of a Volkswagen slowly descends upon his head, the rainbow butterflies are released, and the Very Reverends Jackson and Sharpton walk onstage with his Honorary Negro Doctorate Certificate as the crowd erupts in racially harmonious cheering.)

And NOW we can all just get along.