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Song Parodies -> "Why Can't Iraqis be More Like the Brits?"

Original Song Title:

"Hymn to Him"

Original Performer:

Rex Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Why Can't Iraqis be More Like the Brits?"

Parody Written by:

Mike Juergens

The Lyrics

Bush is stung by ingratitude; vents to his loyal friend Blair...
(George )
Why can't Iraqis be more like the Brits?
Brits are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historically fair
Who when you win are quick to praise your brave attack
Why can't Iraqis be like that?
Why are Shiites doing what the Sunnis do
Can't Iraqis learn to use their head?
Why do they do all the things those mothers do?
Why don't they blow up Uday's father instead?
Why can't Iraqis take after the Brits?
Brits are so pleasant, so eager to please
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak Aray-bic?

Of course not

(George )
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?


(George )
If wounded would you wail that we're barbaric?

(Tony )

(George )
Why can't Iraqis be like you?

One Brit in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by and large they show marv'lous respect
Why can't Iraqis behave like the Brits?
Brits are so friendly, good-natured and kind
A better companion you never will find
If I were hours late for meetings would you bellow?

(Tony )
Of course not

If I forgot your silly customs, would you fuss?

(Tony )

(George )
Would you complain if I brought in some Turkish fellows?


Why can't Iraqis be like us?

Why can't Iraqis be more like the Brits?
Brits are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't Iraqis be our chums?
Why is thinking something Moslems never do
Why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their mosques is all they ever do
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's outside?
Why can't Iraqis be more like the Brits?
If I were Iraqi, and lived through the war
Escaped all the bombing and shooting and more
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing?
Carry on as if my homeland wasn't free?
Would I scream and yell and tell me to get going?
Why can't Iraqis be like me?
(c) 2003 Michael

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   0

User Comments

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Snaggletoth - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Hmm... a new angle, a new way to set up the daily Dubyabashing, that at least deserves good credit for creativity. Iīm not familiar with the song but Iīll give you 4-4-4 anyway.
Michael Pacholek - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
I say, old chap, this was a jolly good show! Of course, Georgie actually -- I'm being loose with the language here -- thinks like this. Not that he would ever stop at "a drink or two."
Mike Juergens - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
"...a new way to set up the daily Dubyabashing..." I hasten to disassociate myself with Tong, in case anyone might think that.. I've taken Tong's suggestion and avoid reading him. I'm a libertarian, am liable to bash anyone, and have a few blows against the Democrats in the back catalog. Will throw them up from time to time. You've never seen "My Fair Lady?" Do catch it on the tube sometime. Great fun!
Mike Juergens - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
BTW Snaggletoth, you need to know that the original first line was "Why can't a woman be more like a man." It's a charming send-up of naive male superiority.
John Jenkins - August 19, 2003 - Report this comment
Good parody. A libertarian point of view is a welcome addition to amiright.
Snaggletoth - August 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Point taken. And I can say that I sometimes find myself having the same dilemma. When writing about Bush/Iraq/Politics itīs almost impossible to avoid thinking along the lines of... will this look like Iīm supporting the view of Tong or will it be clear that this a pure parody, that itīs just for fun, that I donīt necessarily mean the words I put in the text the way he does.
Rex-Supporter - August 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, i agree with this parody totally. And moreover, why can't Blacks be more like the Whites?
Wild Man - August 21, 2003 - Report this comment
Good song, man

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