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Song Parodies -> "Hit The Road, Jack"

Original Song Title:

"Hit The Road, Jack"

Original Performer:

Ray Charles

Parody Song Title:

"Hit The Road, Jack"

Parody Written by:

Calmmelennnie

The Lyrics

Five years ago to the day, I had surgery to remove my cancerous prostate. One of the side effects of this surgery is that you no longer produce semen, as both the prostate and seminal vesicules are removed. This means that at some point, you will face a moment that you know will be the last ejaculation that you will ever have, sometimes called (by myself at least) the "Final Jackout" As a public service, The UPLA (United Prostate Loss Association) recommends the following coping ritual -- on the morning of your surgery, you and a group of your most intimate friends gather in the parking lot of the hospital, at which point you stimulate yourself one last time. And at the moment of release, everyone sings out .....
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't be coming back
No more, no more, NO MORE, no more!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't be coming back no more
What you SAY!
Hit the road, jack , cause you won't bust out the sack
No more, no more, NO MORE, no more!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't bust out the sack no more

(At this point, the surgical patient dons a pair of Brother Ray glasses and sings out ....)

Whoa, woman oh woman, don't be weeping so bad
You're the sweetest old lady that I ever had
But I guess if Doc says so
They got to stop my semen flow
(That's right!)

So hit the road, jack, cause you won't fall on her back
No more, no more, NO MORE, no more!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't fall on her back no more
What you SAY!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't besmear her rack
No more, no more, NO MORE, no more!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't besmear her rack no more

Now cancer, prostate cancer, don't ya do me this way
Cause I'll be back on my feet in two days
You won the first round cause it's understood
You took away my jack, and I got no wood
Well I guess if Doc says so
I got to let my prostate go
(That's right!)

Hit the road, jack, now there ain't no turning back
For sure, for sure, FOR SURE, for sure!
Hit the jack, now there ain't no turning back for sure
What you SAY!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't be coming back no more
No more, no more, NO MORE, no more!
Hit the road, jack, cause you won't be coming back no more

(Won't be coming back no more)
Thanks everybody, you're a big help
(Won't be coming back no more)
I know, it's gonna be weird
(Won't be coming back no more)
Just have to learn to cope
(Won't be coming back no more)
I'm AWARE of that
(Won't be coming back no more)
I heard you the FIRST damn time!
(Won't be coming back no more)
OK, everybody, I GET IT!
(Won't be coming back no more ...)


Ok, I admit it, I'm stretching the truth a little about all this .... In actuality, my prostate was removed six years ago ;-D

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   12
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User Comments

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Callmelennie - November 30, 2012 - Report this comment
I intentionally mispelled my screen name for this one, as I have a couple of offspring who must never be apprised that Daddy is capable of composing something lyrics like this.
Leough - November 30, 2012 - Report this comment
555! Great write! Now I think I better make an appointment to have a PSA test done.
lifeliver - November 30, 2012 - Report this comment
A tragicomic triumph! Leough says it all. Love the Brother Ray glasses verse. Not sure I'd want to share my last one with friends in a hospital parking lot though. I'd probably write a letter to one of my favorite female idols known for her spontaneous acts of charity for publicity purposes, heh heh. Hope a perfect score is some consolation.
Rob Arndt - December 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Sorry CML that it took me so long to read this-555! Sorry for your prostate problems- my dad had them too before he died of leukemia :(
Meriadoc - December 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Well, this settled the Melennie/Lennie confusion heh heh.

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